Axioms for a Random Life

No Animals were Harmed in Creating this Blog

2011-10-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

Go Figure

I love tofu banned from liscence plates

My wife and I have been at this for seven months now and it is fun and easy. We have dropped a ton of weight (not 2000 pounds) and cooking is now fun.

My wife turns 40 this spring and I will surprise her with Vegan Sushi. It will be a real surprise because she contributes most of the recipes here. I just cook.

This here is my our scratch pad to help me us gather recipes, ideas and useful links. *****Stars indicate we have tried them.

Some Happy Thoughts
Vegan Myths Debunked Thats nice that you are a Vegan but how do you get enough protein. (We hear it all the time and it is like saying "White People Can Not Jump.")
Vegans Murder Less Often Random Mark and Jenna Conversations that will change the World.
An Unlikely Vegan -she was was so fed up with not feeling well.

Big Bad Bear Pup (BBBP)

New recipes to try during The New Year.

Baked Mac and Cheeze (w/ Cauliflower)
Vegan Milk Shakes
Vegan Polish Foods
http://beaglesarebad.tumblr.com/post/14802123580/faux-fish-and-real-chips
Could this be a replacement that makes breakfast more fun again?? Delicious looking frittata
Caesar Salad? Yeah!
Great blog with lots of vegan recipes
Can't wait to try this eggplant burger!
Must make our own hummus!
Butternut Squash Chestnut Soup with Carmelized Onions - wow
Spaghetti Pomodoro with Grilled Tempeh
Lemon Herb Vegie Sliders/Burgers
Yeah - vegan tortilla soup.
Good Old fashioned Hummus for New Years

MAIN COURSES

Pho -*****starting to get decent at Vietnamese cooking. This soup is delicious and rather simple.
White bean, kale, and vegie sausage soup ***** another simple, but incredibly delicious, dish.
Tofy Bahn Mi *****WOW - quite possibly the best sandwich we've ever had. So delicious.
Making Cauliflower Your Main Course...mmmmm ****This was delicious.
There can never be enough lentil recipes ****Served this over a bed of rice with a side of kale. It was very good - a little sweet because of the coconut milk. I will make a double batch next time to make sure we have plenty for leftovers.
Simple and delicious. Meatball Pizza **** Mark made fun of me for using a recipe for this very basic meal, but he did say it was my best pizza yet. Sad, but true. New comfort food for us, I believe.
Wonderful Pad Thai Recipe ****
Killer Mac and Cheese ****Amazing and addicting
The first time I used cashews to make a cheese sauce - Blackened Tofu in Cajun Cream Sauce ****
Shiitake Brown Rice Noodle Soup
Cheesy Spinach Cilantro Rice****This was surprisingly good, but not our favorite.
Vegan Spring Rolls ****(These are a huge hit in our household)
Toasted Quinoa Vegetable Stacks with Green Goddess Dressing
Vegan Spinach and Tofu Enchiladas
Vegan Black Bean Burgers ***** Even meat eaters love these burgers
Jens Favourite Food
Vegan Sloppy Joe's ****~~Cant wait to try this~~. We did and they were fantastic.
Vegan Salad Pizza My Mom used to make some like this. She really did.
Tempeh in Spicy Onion Curry
Curried Lentil Soup ****
Traditional Lentil Soup *****
Minced Tempeh Salad with Lemongrass, Cashews, and Sesame
Sesame Peanut Noodles ****So easy and extremely tasty
Vegan French Onoin Soup ****
Enjedra **** This has definitely become comfort food in our household - super fast to pull together
A Meat Eater Adds a Recipe
Vietnamese Sandwiches with Tofu
Faux Fish and Chips - not exactly low-cal...but, wow, does it look amazing Here is How it Went. Worth a Try
Roasted Corn and Sweet Pepper Soup
We really like our current pad thai recipe, but this looks worth trying out. Pad Thai with ketchup???
Brown Rice, Spinach, and Mushrooms - this will have to be a dinner when Riley is not home :)
Mmmmm - love sage!
Butternut Squash Rigatoni I love this recipe, I did not love how it turned out. I will try and find ways to thicken the sauce a bit...and perhaps I did not use enough squash.

Clean Out the Fridge Improvs

Vegan Chilli I am so jealous of my husband's ability to improvise with cooking - I must have a recipe.
Vegan Shepherds pie. Amazing. We have found our favorite "fake meat" to be from Trader Joe's.
For the love of the spud. The poor overlooked potato.

SALADS, FINGER FOODS, BREAD, VEGIE DISHES

Soy Coffee Creamer - easy to make and great substitute for a chemical-filled coffee creamer with a 975 year shelf life. Still, however, going to continue searching for a recipe that does not include oil.
Great squash recipe just in time for Thanksgiving
Spinach Artichoke Dip
Good Bread Recipe
Spicy Sweet Potato Salad
Curried Hummus Dip
Caponata Crustini
Crab Cakes and Roasted Corn Salad
Quinoa Salad **** Huge hit in our household. Still the most frequently requested "vegan" meal from Riley.
Kale chips - not ready to give up on it because I do not think I followed the recipe correctly, but not my favorite at this point.
In search of the perfect quinoa salad
quinoa salad with corn and black beans

DESSERTS

Rhubarb Crumble
Banana Dream Pie This also requires measuring but its easy
Brownie Bottom Cheesecake Requires measuring.
Vegan Pumpkin Pie Make sure to use silken tofu - beginning to figure that one out.

INTERESTING INFO

My wife and I decided to give it a try. Myself I was a semi vegetarian from the years 1985 to 2003. This decision on my part happened spur of the moment after following a chicken truck on a summer day in Delaware. This here is my our scratch pad to help me us gather recipes, ideas and useful links. Stars indicate we have tried them.

Other Resources

Sauvie Island Organics

Vegan Pantry Items

Meat Substitutes

Eggs Bread and Cheese

How Vegan Diet is Perfect for Every situation

This has lots of great recipes.

I thought raw meant you could not cook anything - how wrong I was.....

And another website about using raw foods.

I love learning from other people's experiences.
Sophie's Kitchen **New

Our Adventures

Jenna has me follow a Recipe.

Vegans Murder Less Often Random Mark and Jenna Conversations that will change the World.

Other Healthy Stuff

Bikram Yoga on Fremont

Caring for an Older Dog

Riley Clair Goes Vegan

Portland Vegan Restaurants

Nicholas on Broadway - Excellent Vegan Options and Knowledgeable staff.
The Blossoming Lotus -The holy grail.
Dot's Cafe - A little dark, a little quirky, but well worth it.
Sizzle Pie - They have Vegan Pizzas and they are pretty darn good.
Bye and Bye
Alberta Street Public House - great hang out place has viable Vegan options.
Jade Bistro Teahouse and Patisserie - They know what Vegans want.

."The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." -Mohandas Gandhi (a.k.a. Mahatma)

"The obligations of law and equity reach only to mankind; but kindness and beneficence should be extended to the creatures of every species and these will flow from the breast of a true man, as streams that issue from the living fountain."

Olallie Lake -Camping Vegan

Eggs Bread and Cheese

2011-08-11T10:03:00.000-07:00

Vegan egg replacers (for 1 large egg)
■1-1/2 teaspoons Ener-G Egg Replacer mixed with 2 tablespoons of water
■1 tablespoon Bob’s Red Mill All-Natural Egg Replacer mixed with 3 tablespoons water
■1/4 cup tofu blended with a little liquid in the recipe
■1/4 cup soy yogurt
■1/4 cup vegan buttermilk
■1/4 cup mashed banana or applesauce
■1 tablespoon soy flour mixed with 1 tablespoon water
■1 tablespoon agar-agar mixed with 1 tablespoon water
■1 tablespoon ground flax mixed with 3 tablespoons water*

Bread
1 tablespoon yeast
1/2 cup lukewarm water
teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons vegetable oil or melted vegan margarine (both work fine)
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

Directions:
1. Preheat oven 425 degrees Fahrenheit. Mix the yeast with the lukewarm water until the yeast is dissolved. Let it stand for a couple minutes.
2. Add the salt and vegetable oil/melted margarine. Mix. Add the flour, and mix.
3. Roll out the dough, and place on pan or stone. Put it in the oven for 5 minutes.
4. Take it out and rub vegetable oil over it. Add toppings, and cook for 10 to 15 more minutes.
Makes: 1 serving, Preparation time: 10 minutes, Cooking time: 15 to 20 minutes

"Cheese" Sauce:
1 1/2 cups unsweetened nondairy milk
1 1/2 cups nutritional yeast
1 cup canola or vegetable oil
1 cup water
1/3 cup tamari or soy sauce
1/4 (12 ounce) block firm (not silken) tofu
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon paprika
1 tablespoon vegesal or in lack of fancy product, just use salt
1 dollop mustard, optional

For Profit Colleges

2011-06-02T12:26:00.000-07:00

Jen and I were watching a commercial yesterday for University of Phoenix (may have been some other college) and the lady told a story of being single, twenty and having 2 kids. She told the story how she picked her self up from her boot straps and got degree after degree until she finally became something in an impressive uniform.

Jen asked me if those commercials were real and my only response was yes they probably were. I said they have thousands of students and one or two had to make it good and why not feature them.

Today as I was driving to work I heard a story on PBS how many of these schools are in danger of losing federal aid.

After months of delay, the Department of Education on Thursday issued new rules that could shut down some for-profit colleges and universities.

The department says the regulations are meant to cut off federal aid to schools whose students cannot earn enough to repay their loans. The administration softened the rules in response to industry pressure.

Before he announced the rules, Education Secretary Arne Duncan paid tribute to the important role played by for-profit schools, such as the University of Phoenix.

http://www.npr.org/2011/06/02/136876216/softened-regulations-issued-for-for-profit-schools?ps=cprs

Well it seems there are some success stories, it also seems these people are coming out of college and not being hired. I see the logic in this, but I must also question it. Lets face it teachers coming out of grad school face an uphill road when finding employment when getting out of school. Well let us not split hairs, as this fact is also true across the board, across all professions.

Ironically, there are many people who are out of work right now and it is logical that they head back to school to update their skill sets.

I think I'll go back to college and get a PHD and solve this little dilema.

Disaster From Afar

2011-05-31T23:25:00.000-07:00

We have a cat that is a crazy as they come. She used to be shy little cat and over the past few years Astrid has come out her shell and she is quite the talker. And she brings Jen and I presents. She has a toy called Qua duck. What Qua duck actually is a question for another day. It is half octopus (with four legs) and half duck. Astrid meows in a throaty load purr when she has Qua duck in her mouth. The other day she brought Jen a ball of yarn and our bed was like a big spider web. She brought me a fastener that wraps around a head of Kale. Why she brought me that I have no idea.

But I remember many years ago I was in the apple orchard and I was picking apples. (Such an idyllic childhood) and I saw my Mom hanging wash (people used to do that and my Mom was good at it and she liked hanging wash). The I saw our cat Beacon (our Mom called him BJ) walking toward my Mom much like Astrid now does with Qua duck. Only BJ was walking across the lawn with a big old snake in his mouth. The snake was still alive and wiggling like crazy.I saw my Mom hanging wash and Bj walking across the lawn with a present for my Mom and I could see a disaster of epic proportions ready to erupt and I was helpless to stop the train wreck.

It actually didn't end in train wreck but I remember that fleeting feeling of not being able to stop the disaster at hand. It was uproariously funny in my mind but I also wanted to spare my Mom of the surprise present.

As anticipated my Mom turned and started yelling at BJ to drop the snake and our startled cat to my surprise ran like hell and the snake slithered into a bush.

Even in the Quietest Moments

2011-05-28T01:42:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was about 15 years old. I was too old to participate in family vacations in my mind. But I still had my favourite childhood memories tied to going to the beach ( I believe we called it the shore) with my family. We would spend most mornings getting up early and having a big breakfast , walking the beach, doing a little wave riding but when GrandFather Hoover determined that the tide was right we would head back to the bay to do some crabbing, Yes we all loved going to Assawoman State Park and do the crabbing thing. Throw a chicken laden string in the water and five minutes later pulling up the string and snaring a ceab in our net.

I remember riding in our parents car back to our favorite crabbing spot and me being the self centered teenager that I was. I decided that i would pop in Supertamps Crime of the Century cd. In retrospect our Grandfather was in the car and he had made the drive to our favourite crabbing spots a thousnad times before.

But he sat there that day and listened to the cd I had pur on. The song Even in the Quitest Moments came on the car sterwo and everyboday sar silent and listened to it.

My grandfasther commented that was a beutiful song.

I heard it again todat and it brought me back to Crabbing in Deleware. And some of the simple pleasures I miss today.

And Slim as many used to call my grandfather.

And even though the stars are listening

And the ocean's deep, I just go to sleep
And then I create a silent movie
You become the star, is that what you are, dear?
Your whisper tells a secret
Your laughter brings me joy
And a wonder of feeling I'm Nature's own little boy
But still the tears keep fallinThey're raining from the sky
Well there's a lot of me got to go under before I get high
Don't you let the sun disappear

My grandfather sat and listened to these words with me and I have not recisted them until I heard it today on WXPN/

A beauriful song always stirs a memory.

My On Again Love Affair with Bikram

2011-05-25T10:50:00.000-07:00

I write about Bikram Yoga often. I have a love hate relationships with Bikram and yesterday I went back to old friend with a goal of sorts.

1. Reduce stress.
2. Lose ten pounds by July 4th.
3. Reduce the side effects that my back is having on everything else. (Damn I get winded when I sprint in my soccer games).

Well my wife bought me a wonderful gift of Bikram yoga for my birthday and yesterday I took the first step of actually going to class. Like I have written before I generally hate the 90 minutes of class and love the 24 hours after it.

Yesterday was a bit different. Leah was our teacher for the day and the atmosphere was so much different this time around. The schedule has changed just a bit. Classes are now at 530 and 730 which suits my life a little better. Yesterday's class had around 13 students which is better for myself.

I also found myself very relaxed and not frustrated at all if I did not come close to making the pose. I was very into the moment and my mind did not wonder. I found myself not quite where I was the last time I did Bikram but so what. It is a process, I am 3 years older and I came here with problems with my back and 11 pounds to lose. One day at a time. One pose at a time.

Once class was over that's when the you reap the benefits. The breeze flowing down Fremont street was gentle and beautiful and the light rain felt great on my forehead. We had watermelon for desert and it was the best thing I tasted all day. A cold glass of water after dinner replaced the usual beer. I slept very well last night.

And that matters.

I went for a walk with our Beagle last night and her leg seemed better. Probably not related but I love the Halo effect that comes with Bikram.

Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.”

The Head Talks

2011-05-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

Sad Tire
Effective July 16, 2010, Earl Scheib, Inc. has ceased operations nationwide. Each store is now independently owned and operated by a person unaffiliated with Earl Scheib, Inc. Based on this change, customer warranties of Earl Scheib, Inc. will no longer be able to be honored at these stores or by Earl Scheib, Inc. We truly apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you (and the inconvenience we got rid of), however we believe the independent owners and operators will (begrudgedly) continue to provide the same great service that Earl Scheib, Inc. offered for almost 79.9 years.

In other words go take your crappy paint jobs back to them because we made a deal never to deal with this crap again. On second thought go but a new car instead of getting your car fixed.

Having Vibrams = Liking Journey

2011-04-18T10:27:00.000-07:00

Apparently there is a school of thought that What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You

Journey: You own those running shoes that are shaped like feet.

Jimi Hendrix: You are under 20 or over 65.

Click her for a complete listing.

I have no favourite classic rock band as they all suck. But I have the forementioned running shoes. Vibrams and this rocket surgeon study assumes I like Journey and just make you stop believing I will state here that Journey is the worst band I have ever heard. Hands down and I love my Vibram running shoes.

Stolen Baby Sea Lion

2011-03-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

Love this essay and memory from Marina.

Marina Schofer

Sophomore English

March 17th 2011

I found my perfect washable pet at Zupans Market. As a second grader at the grocery store all I could focus on was the candy aisle and the miscellaneous toys scattered about – Bam! The white stuffed sea lion in the middle of a body scrubber caught my attention; it was hanging next to the natural body wash above the reach of any 7 year old.

I ran down the long deep wooden floors that held the heavy aisles of countless snacks. I spotted my parents among colorful piles of oranges and bell peppers. I skipped over to my parents and right as I tugged on my dads flannel the sprinklers poured over the bright green, red, yellow and orange bell peppers. I put my face and arms under the mist to feel the same freshness each crispy bell pepper felt. The mist distracted me from my goal for only a few seconds.

“I want to be cleaner daddy!” I said looking straight into his big brown eyes.

He looked at me with the humorous face that he makes where he turns his head to the side a little bit and widens his eyes.

This made me giggle. I pulled him down the aisle towards the baby sea lion. My mom slowly pushed the cart with my little brother in it down the aisle behind us; she was intrigued by all of the packaged goods.

I pointed at the baby seal body scrubber.

“Cute!” He said.

My dad picked the one that I wanted off of the clip and handed it to me.

At that second I knew for sure that I was lucky. Holding that seal gave me memories of warm summer days at the zoo and baths with my baby brother, the only things I knew in life was the family that loved me and my favorite coloring books. Life was amazing.

I brought my baby seal over to my best friend Isabelle’s house, we ate snacks and played with polly pockets until my mom came and picked me up. I always missed her at this point. We drove down the hills of western Portland and into the valley of Beaverton. The second that I realized my baby seal was missing I called Isabella’s moms. I was furious, nobody had ever stolen anything from me before, especially an item of such value.

“I just wanted to let you know… that Isabella stole my baby sea lion. I want it back. It is white and fluffy and is wrapped in a purple body scrubber.” I said with the slight attitude I still have today.

“Okay sweetheart!” she said with a full kind heart despite of my attitude. I hated her and Isabella because of my lost baby seal.

I sat on my bed with my mom’s cell phone in hand expecting a very important call. It didn’t come. I called back after an hour went by; I was furious about the ticking clock. Isabella and I were never friends again.

About Culture

2011-03-14T23:50:00.000-07:00

This here is an absolute brilliant peace of journalism. It has me awestruck.
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/edwest/100079703/why-is-there-no-looting-in-japan/

And solidarity seems especially strong in Japan itself. Perhaps even more impressive than Japan’s technological power is its social strength, with supermarkets cutting prices and vending machine owners giving out free drinks as people work together to survive. Most noticeably of all, there has been no looting, and I’m not the only one curious about this.

This is an absolute amazing human trait amongst a large group of people. I did not read the analysis as to why that is. I will save that for another day. For now I can only guess with reasonable accuracy as to why that actually is.

Japan as a culture has a 'we' mentality as opposed to a 'me' mentality. This is taught from school age on up all the way into the community and corporate culture. The demographics of the Japanese people is quite different. There is less a disparity in income as seen in the United States. The poor are generally taken care of better in the Japanese culture. This results in less need to loot for basic needs. There is also less hostility toward those with ample resources. This takes away the , for lack of a better word, urge to plunder. The need to take what is rightfully their own.

Purging at 50

2011-03-02T11:23:00.000-08:00

10:00 and All is well

Oh sheiss, no food for today. Drink only clear liquids and mix this crap together. One bottle of some crap mixed with Gatorade.
40 minutes until I have to take the pills and evacuate the system. A friend said I should prepare for flu like symptoms. I already have that anticipating tomorrows jocularity.
At least I have the new REM CD to listen to. What associative memories I will have of that.
Of course I am hungry as hell.

Noon

Take the four pills every 15 minutes .
I actually followed the directions and these pills make me feel like crap.
Riley Is eating food which is driving me crazy. I showed her and took a bath. (She currently can't take baths)
All concentration now is gone.

Two

Okay the directions say to drink 8 ounce of this stuff every 15 minutes. The Gatorade -shatever (new word)mixtures tastes like day old oral sex.
The directions said that i would get chills. Check
I didn't realize I would have to go to the bathroom exactly 15 seconds after drinking that regurgitated cum. But I did and it was not a placebo bathroom break.
Shit , 30 minutes are up and I have to drink that stuff again.
All hands on board.
Taking a bath is not a wise decision. The bunny hop from tub to toilet is amusing.
The colon is 4 feet long so they tell me.
Who aspires to be a colonologist - my doctor evidently.

Directions from the Portland Clinic

Foods that are acceptable. Jello, pop sickles soda apple juice etc.
Foods that are not acceptable. milk, creams, dairy, soy nut dairy replacements, orange juice, foods with red or purple colour. I do not see Vegetarian Reuben from the Goose Hollow on the list. I am assuming I can have one.

I did not realize I had to drink a second batch of that crap at 700. The second batch was horrible as it was more concentrated and more crappy. I use that word here plenty.

I was afraid to go to bed because I was always going to the bathroom. I was getting more familiar as to how my colon worked. I also became a little more familiar with how woman feel monthly.

Colon OZ Comy day

My wife couldn't sleep either as I was up all night, but we arrived at 715 on the dot. Strip down naked into hospital garb, and on to a gurney. It was so surreal and calm. I listened to a lady being interviewed next to me. It was so predictable in my world.

Nurse - Are you wearing any hearing Aides
Patient -What
Nurse - Are you wearing any hearing Aides

Patient -Louder -What
Me (over the curtains) -Assume she isn't.

The procedure is such a non event. I was done and out out of there by 930. It went faster than advertised.

But it is peace of mind. The day off was nice. They warned me that people lose their short term memory after said procedure. I was hoping I would find mine.

A Call from School

2011-02-01T09:05:00.000-08:00

I just received a call from the principal at Davinci Arts Middle School. Ususually that means trouble in my world. Today Max was in Mr. Marshall's office once again. I picked up the phone with some trepdation and it was Mr. Marshall on the other end of the line.

Mr. Marshall said that we had Max in his office and I immediately thought "OHNO". Mr Marshall I think wanted me to think that for a second. To make a long story short he told me Max was in his office to recieve an outstanding citizen award for having an outstanding Oaks Testing score. One small victory and a tribute to the hard work Max is putting in. Mr Marshall is thankful also.

Link to Davinci

My daughters perfect paragraph

2011-01-13T00:25:00.000-08:00

Thought I would keep it just to look back at it later. It is what it is.

The brain is constantly developing throughout your life; the brain does the most developing from the ages of 2 to 18. I do not agree that minors who commit felonies should be treated as adults in the U.S. criminal justice system. When one is under the age of 18 it is easier to learn from mistakes because of the connections the brain is still creating. A minor should not be sentenced to death when they still have a chance to be a better person and bring positivity into the world. Being a teenager is difficult and comes with a lot of pressure from peers to make mistakes and push limits. When one still has the chance to make up for what they have wronged they should be given every chance to make better.

Comets from the Stars

2010-12-13T00:56:00.000-08:00

Sometimes out of the blue, from something you have prepared for forever, whet you trully expected would happen actually does.

The perfect weekend is sometimes not a trip out of town or gala celebration but rather just a simple quiet weekend at home with family.

With gentle dis-agreements with your daugher that ends in gentel agreements gaining new level of repsect that was hard earned on both sides.
And a weeknd with being in synch with your partner in life, when a gentle nod of the head neans I am with you. That gentle nod of the head that says I am with you.

What Constitues Normal TeenAge Behavior

2010-11-16T15:48:00.000-08:00

In general, normal behavior is behavior that does not interfere with a person's ability to cope with his environment or to get along with others.

Become Aware of the Attitudes and Behaviors of Adolescents Your Child's Age

However, you must consider your teenager's peer group and take into account the behaviors and actions of his age mates in order to determine if your teenager's behavior is typical or should be of concern.

Here in lies a particular problem as who are the kids peers and how exactly does he or she pick them. I as a parent always hope for kids (Our) to pick peers that are better than them and help them raise the level of their game. By choosing peers\boyfriends with low standards you are already setting the bar pretty low.

Some peer groups are themselves deviant, and may be associated with serious impairments or difficulties.

Not sure how to address this as we have little say in that and when we help choose them we get resentment and ill guided behavior.

Consider Individual Differences

Children have different personalities. One child may be sensitive, another talkative, a third shy, and so forth. In determining whether behavior is normal. Other parents are going through the same thing. Parents with multiple children sometimes have some that behave according and others that do not. They are all different.

The Nascar Demographic is Dead and how it Relates to the Portland Timbers

2010-09-28T11:42:00.000-07:00

Just finished reading "Southern Culture on the Skids" talking about the dying demographic of NasCar fans. Ben Austin describes the early beginnings of NasCar and tracks it through an ill-fated pit row spat that rocketed Racing's popularity and now NasCar is left with a model that is indeed broken.

Competitive stock-car racing has its roots in moonshine-running, NASCAR president Mike Helton has said "The old southeastern redneck heritage that we had is no longer in existence. But what NASCAR has done is that it has strayed away from its roots. NASCAR had grand ideas of tracks in New York City, fans have now complained that drivers are too corporate and bland and that the racing is now boring. The cars no longer look like the cars the fans had driven as kids. In another odd move NASCAR moved race times to later in the day that no longer coincided with the traditional time when people where arriving home from church. What NasCar has done is to get away from its traditional base. They now screen off entire sections of Daytona grandstands so the track appears full to sponsors and fans.

What does that have to do with the Portland Timbers one may ask.

Well the Timbers have had similar success with a campy comfortable product with a real feel good approach to its success. It has been a grass roots word of mouth growth where the the team now is drawing 10000 fans a night to see their beloved team play in a league that is truly bad. Not really the players but rather promotion and opponent fan base.

Well the Timbers have been awarded an MLS franchise and start playing next year in what looks like a beautifully renovated PGE park. It is estimated the 10000 figure next year will be 20000 and that is not a stretch. That will happen in the short term. Now the challenge is to produce those numbers in the long term and the Timbers will do that by sticking to their roots.

A recent uprising against the new crest was a result of a perceived lack of management insight into sticking to their roots. Out sourcing the logo design to an out of state firm was not a great start. Hopefully that public relations hiccup was merely that.

But change is constant but change need not be chaotic. The Timbers must keep with what got them here.

The Timbers are not NASCAR and they are not the Portland Trail Blazers and there is no need for cheer leaders or for gods sake (NASCAR term) please keep out the pumped in music. Footy fans are spur of the moment and don't need cues as when to be fired up. The Timbers Army is doing a great job in talking with the field office and vise versa. This needs to continue as the fans understand the direction of the teams just as well as the field office much like the fans of the Oval sport.

But it is the teams money and resources. It is preferred to put a winner on the field, but it just as important to stick with tradition. Little traditions such as "Green is the Color" playing before games, sales reps stopping by your seat and asking for feed back, plenty of bike racks for those riding to games and may i repeat NO PUMPED IN MUSIC. Sorry a little pet peeve of mine but we are fans and not customers and we like seeing PGE park filled to the brim. We have great tradition, a great city and it what got us here and will help us grow in the future.

Guns

2010-09-15T15:33:00.000-07:00

When I lived in Arlington Va. I went for a run and waved hello to a neighbor and his friend who were innocently drinking beer on sultry typical DC fall evening. When I got back from my run there was a swarm of police and ambulances in front of the house and apparently they had played with their Dads hand gun and it went off and killed one of the boys. I still remember the neighbors gathering that night and the father of the boy who owned the gun was pissed that he could not get blood stains out of the carpet. He had the only NRA bumper sticker on a mostly liberal minded community.

Yesterday a 3 year old got to playing with his Dad's handgun (a police officer non the less) and we lost another young person. Story here if you are so inclined.

Our founding fathers are 286 years old and their original intention is now distorted. It took 5 minutes to load a damn musket. Now a days we have guns that can shoot 100 rounds a minute. I must admit I did not research the fact but the direction of my statement should be understood.

My questions are.

1.Why does one have to own a handgun.?
2. If so how hard is to lock it up.?
3. What if anything can be done?

From some Pro Gun site
A fatal gun accident, particularly when a child is involved, often makes state or national news. This gives the impression that: fatal gun accidents are more prevalent than other fatal accidents, gun accidents are increasing, and civilian gun ownership must be further restricted or regulated.

The reality does not correspond to the perception created by media coverage. Fatal gun accidents declined by almost sixty percent from 1975 to 1995, even though the number of guns per capita increased by almost forty percent.

Tongue in cheek one can concluse the per capita is up because we accidently killed so many. But once again it is a single life that ended, a father lost a son and its an acceptble risk.

I disagree.

Just Random stuff that Comes to My Mind

2010-09-10T14:07:00.000-07:00

I am really doing some repetitive work and when something pops in mu mind I will just jot it down.

From NPR of Montreal

1. NPR is a great place to listen to new releases. Currently Listening to the New "Of Montreal cd" . I used to like this band but it seems like they now have Prince like vocals. On second thought its a little more like Spoon.

2. UP is playing PSU in soccer this weekend. That PSU is my ala mater Penn State. Go Lady pilots. Wonder where Kendra Chandhoke has disappeared to.

3. Muslims find America, the Tolerant. It seems like they have not ventured out side the city, but that Jones dude in Florida is crazy.

4. When I asked my family via text message what the score of the Braves/Cards game was they all had an answer within 10 seconds.

5. This is the last scheduled around-the-clock weekend closure for southbound I-205. Crews plan to use night time double-lane closures through October to complete joint work and restripe lanes on both directions of the bridge. I hate this as I will be missing my soccer game again.

6. Just started reading a book with a cover and Pages. My first one since I got the kindle a year ago. J. Robert Lenin's Funny Papers. and its pretty good.

7. My wife is reading to her students and playing the cd from our wedding. Wonder what the kids thing of the Loch Lomond song called Carl Sagen.

Love this JRL wackiness. (This is lifted from here).

1 egg = 2 T vegetable oil

1 T prepared mustard = 1 t dry mustard

1 prune = 8 raisins

1 pizza = 12 dollars

1 C Coke = 1 C Pepsi

sunrise = sunset

1 wasp = 14 ants

1 hug = 5 handshakes

1 punch in jaw = 8 middle fingers

1 stomach flu = 10 staff meetings

completing free coffee card = spying nude neighbor through the window

licked by dog = gift of ugly necktie

cloud = crow

bowling trophy = promotional t-shirt

finding a $20 bill on the sidewalk = finding 20 $1 bills on the sidewalk

thunderstorm = trick-or-treating

car door slammed on fingers = testifying against brother-in-law

legalized gambling = africanized killer bees

car alarm = painful urination

misspelling = untied shoe

lawyer jokes = 1 C bread crumbs

empty parking lot = dream-within-a-dream

shaving = sauteeing

pinking shears = parsley

tapanade = “Rashamon”

bone spur = church pew

eleventy-twelve = 122

9. A new way to make eggplant happened by accident as we were out of eggs.

Soak sliced eggplants in salt and water
Dip in a mixture of vegetablee oil and Mayo.
Bread accordingly
Broil in Oven

10. I swear or cat Astrid was getting poop out of the liter box and taking it to our Beagle who promptly ate it and then proceeded to run around like Marion Berry on Crack.

Our weather has been weird We get sights like this. But how can one argue as it has been late October weather in early September.

Let's Build a Temple for the Overly Religious

2010-09-08T01:18:00.000-07:00

http://en.wikipedia/.

Lets for arguments sake just say that Timothy McVeigh (At the end of his life he would state his belief that the United States government is the ultimate bully) was a Christian zealot. For example, " Throughout his childhood, he and his father were Roman Catholic and regularly attended daily Mass at Good Shepherd Church in Pendleton, New York" .This statement ,alone taken on purpose somewhat out of context from Wikipedia, (a common Internet tool that many times is mistaken as absolute truth by those doing book reports) can in our media driven world be read and interpreted as true by many in American society. It happens all the time.

Which in a sound byte world would come across as "Christian goes Jihad on Government Building" if the press decided to report this in such a way the fallout could be different.. It is a far fetched scenario of sorts but the truth is somewhat close. Number one and besides the point the the basically pro Christian Press would not report it this way. Number two -Let us suppose the press reports it this way and Americans actually believe that a Radical Christian bombed the Federal buildings (including a day care center) that actual resentment toward Christians would result in threats against God Loving Christians/

Would it cause a national uproar (Ill call it a major chasm) against a church going up near ground zero in New York.

The Sunshine Goal

2010-09-03T10:40:00.000-07:00

SUNSHINE SUNFLOWER PROJECT

From soccercityusa

Thursday Sept.2 will be the last regular season home game at PGE Park for our beloved Portland Timbers before the leap to MLS.
Please bring a large Sunflower to this historic event.
At the 80th minute we will sing "You are my Sunshine" and display these tokens of our affection until the end of the match.
Sunflowers will be collected and given to players and coaches as the Timbers pass the Timbers Army.

"You are my Sunshine" is part of Timbers lore. It is sung at every Timbers game as a tribute. Timber Jim's daughter, Hannah, was killed in an automobile accident in 2004, and in her memory, the Timbers Army made a tradition of singing "You Are My Sunshine," often led by a tearful Timber Jim.

Tonight was a tribute to everything Timbers as it was the last home game for the Current squad and we were locked into a key division game against the Islanders from Puerto Rico. The atmosphere at the park was trully electric. Sunflowers were every where and there was a great game on the pitch as both sides settled into a defensive struggle. Ryan Pore nearly found the back of the net as the first half ended.

As the 80th minute approached sunflowers appeared out of every corner of PGE park and almost everybody in attendance broke into "You are My Sunshine" with sunflowers raised. The game proceeded and James Marcelin wrestled a the ball away midfield sending a cross to Ian Joy who fed Doug Demartin on the wing. Demartin lofted a perfect through ball that Ryan Pore out marked his opponent and headed in the game winner as the crowd was singing. The place went absolutely crazy.

You honestly could not have scripted it better and it retrospect as I write this it seems like a script but it happened at PGE park in front of 15000 thousand plus fans. Some had tears in their eyes, others donned sunglasses and it was a magical moment that I was happy to share with my wife, my son and our friend Erin on her bithday and 15000 people I will see agian.

As we walked out of the stadium I ran into a friend and he asked me if I shed a tear.

My answer was simply "Yes". one guy speaking to another.

Timbers by dougall5505, on Flickr

I Remember 1969 -Researching the Expanding Past

2010-09-02T10:58:00.000-07:00

I was having a discussion with Dad the other day and he told me he played baseball with Charlie Engle when he was 53. Charlie is an interesting chap who just threw a no hitter at the age of 79. I replied that the last time he (Dad) played baseball was when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. Dad's flippant response was that he was not 30 in 1958.

So a little research. Debunking the myths.

When we were kids on Sunday nights all our cousins (The Hoovers) would come over to the house and we would usually eat Chicken Delight. I did some quick research and the place still exists in some form. We loved the chicken wings, the blueberry muffins and the coleslaw. We would usually eat, the parents would drink beer and the kids would run around the house and eventually get their leg stuck in a wagon or some other calamity.

And in some seasons the parents would sit down and watch Roller Derby. The Philadelphia Warriors.with the likes of Buddy Atkinson. Jim Trotter and Judy Arnold. They would watch them them play or skate or what ever they did.

Well the reason for this diversion is that Dad tells me he was not 30 when Niel and the gang landed on the Moon. But he did back up his mis-claim that the lunar landing happened in 1958.

So I did some checking as Charlie Engle is real and one night in the summer of 1969 Roller Derby was pre-emted by the lunar landing. I remember watching those grainy images and to me it was one of the more exciting moments in my life.

The Basic facts behind it.

The Apollo 11 space flight landed the first humans on Earth's Moon on July 20, 1969. The mission, carried out by the United States, is considered a major accomplishment in the history of exploration and represented a victory by the U.S. in the Cold War Space Race with the Soviet Union.. I did some additional research and July 20th was indeed a Sunday. It all fits.

Whether Dad played against Charlie Engle at the age of 53 is open for debate.

It Broke Free

2010-08-28T00:50:00.000-07:00

Our car broke down the other day on the way to work. I left home from work and noticed my front tire looked really low. So I stopped and filled up the tire hoping the problem would Brake Free. Brake free is my term for fixing it self. I was sitting in traffic on the Marcum bridge and somebody signaled me that my tire was flat. Portland is that type of town and people are nice that way. So 3 long minutes later (they were probably 72 seconds long -you know you have had them) I pulled in front of OMSI and put the wobbling car next to the curb. Quickly a homeless person pedaled up to me on his bike and offers to fix the tire. I once again wondered if the problem would break free again. But for the life of me I could not find the spare tire and the homeless man quickly grew restless and pedaled on. There I was with a flat tire and with precious little time to rush home get our son and head off to our beloved soccer teams game at PGE park. Then I thought like a super hero. At the time super hero could have been a term for large hoagie from Pennsylvania. But out of the phone booth I emerged determined to make the footy game.

From droppingtimber.com

So I did the illogical thing at the time and took out the directions provided in my car. The car never broke free or fixed itself. Then I read the directions and actually followed them. All the time thinking about one time when I had gnarled my finger as a teenager changing a tire for my girlfriend on an icy frigid day in Pennsylvania. But i surprised my self and actually located the spare on the Prius (Toyota hides them to save mileage by encouraging walking when having a flat tire) and changed it with an attitude.

Thank you tire for not breaking free and fixing your self. We made the game and had a glorious evening at the Timbers game.

We just back from Maui on what I would describe a perfect vacation. We had a wonderful young man named Anthony house sit while we on vacation. He was asked to do he usual stuff like walking our very bad beagle, watering the plants during Portland non rain season and just live there and not party too much.

We got back and the house was in an expected disarray when a teen ager stays in your house. But the one thing I did notice is that garbage disposal simply did not work when we got home. I would turn it on and either the entire sink shook violently or the disposal did nothing but hum. I asked Anthony about the disposal and sheepishly said that it shook violently albeit rather surprised that I would notice such a thing.

So I spent the last few days just doing nothing to the disposal (taking an Allen wrench and spinning the nut on the bottom of the disposal like some direction book I had once read) and still the disposal either hummed or shook the kitchen violently.

Today I woke up early for work and mindlessly put the coffee grounds from the coffee maker into the disposal. In retrospect, I usually dump the coffee grounds into the compost can we have on the kitchen counter but in my groggy state I put he grounds down the drain then Iand mindlessly turned on the disposal.

The disposal had broken free.
It was working perfectly.
It had fixed itself.

It broke free.

As in no charge to fix it when its broken.

Call to the Teachers in The World (Well actually one)

2010-08-27T15:47:00.000-07:00

This week the state of Washington was fortunate to land a great Teacher. My lovely wife has started teaching at Ilahee up in Camus Washington. She brings a passion for teaching that I wish I had in my job everyday. She brings in the experience of some great mentors as well as the foundation set by her hard work obtained at Lewis and Clark College.

But it is the passion of teaching and doing what she loves that will serve these kids well. She sits at home and makes charts and graphs for the kids much like a kid. That is with open eyes like she is seeing it and living it for the first ime. She loves the feel of crayons, sharpies and abrand new note book.

She wrote lettters to the kids before the first days of summer had barely passed. She recieved her first response and she read it with starry eyed anticipation. She has decorated her room so it lools like ma room where I want to just sit in the back room and give the teacher an apple.

I look forward to hearing the updates daily and even when the day is difficult. It looks like it is going to be a long year of learning and growning as she falls asleep while getting a much needed foot rub.

Hawaii 11.11 Things

2010-08-24T14:43:00.000-07:00

1. Bob and Lana got married At what I can consider one of the cooler weddings I have ever been to. Beautiful evening to get married on the beach with family and friends. I was honoured to be there. Bob and I now appear on each others marriage certificates.

2. Running - Got to run every day and on most days it felt really good.

3. Spending time with my wife -Don't get to do that all that often and it was nice to be un rushed and not on a schedule. That was pretty special.

4. Snorkeling -That was funner than i anticipated. I lost my wedding ring the second I hit the water but I was swimming along and I said to Jenna "Look Down" and there was a giant sea Turtle under us.

5. Gary the Car Rental guy is a flaming idiot. He is a company man on a mission. The car my friends is a gift to you. Would you like to purchase the additional insurance for 30.00 a day. NO. Do you realize if you crash the car you will have to pay blalablablablabla...Oh would you like a car with windows that roll up for another 10 dollars a day...NO. Well we don't have that car anyways so I'll have to give you a nice car at the same price. GARY AT Advantage. You are an idiot.

6. The Picnic Bench Bunch - Everyday at 730 the locals gather by the picnic benches and stood around and told stories and drank Budweiser the entire day. They were a cool bunch.

7. The Pineapples- I really can't explain it but the Pineapples were sofa king good. I kind of like Pineapples, but these were off the planet.

8. The fact that I like Hawaii - I tend to veer away from things that are popular and mainstream. Everybody loves Hawaii and so did I.

9. Mark, Patty, Ellen, Allie, Callie, Curt, Ed, Marilana, Bob Sr and Jill. -They made us feel like family.

10. Geckos - are pretty cool. Its comforting to have them in the room with you.

11. 91.5 KEAO "Mana'o Radio": Eclectic / Free Form (LP). They played great music..Loved the free form radio.
11.11 - Doing absolutely Nothing - Have not perfected it yet.

Koaniani & a Konane
A Gentle Breeze and a Bright moonlight

Bob and Lana

2010-08-16T14:16:00.000-07:00

The Smitten One

Life is full of quirky nuances. You know the cliches.

Being in the right place at the right time.
No matter where you go, There you are.
Good things happen to good people.
It is better to be Lucky than Good.

And on this lovely planet the fickle hand of randomness
is truly just that. Some may say it is in the cards and others
may say WHOA. How in the world did that actually happen.

From an analytical perspective lets look do the Math real quickly. There are 6.5 billion people on this planet, with a basic assumption that half are boys and half are girls what are the chances that a boy from the deep south would meet a girl from the from the Pacific Northwest.

About 18 billion to one. (Give or take a billion)

Then You get over that 18 billion to one odds thing and actually meet.

What are the chances of making it to a second date. (Multiply that by the fact they met in pool room, in the dark of winter) and a third date, and that they would actually could effectively communicate with each other and actually like each other and that falling in love thing.

That's straight math with a sardonic touch of my own.

The world doesn't work in mathematical equations.

Back to life's Axioms -Which of these are true in this case?

Being in the right place at the right time.
No matter where you go, There you are.
Good things happen to Good people.
It is better to be Lucky than Good.

How about Really Fantastic people who were in the right place at the right time and were starry eyed and love struck enough .

The one axiom from above that does not exactly hold true is that it is better to be lucky than good. There is some luck involved but for now it is about being good and that is exactly what Bob and Lana are. Well not exactly they are great together.

There is hardly anything that Bob has not done. He has practically fixed most things in our house and he is always there to help. Today we learned he knows how to make a pineapple upside down cake.Unlike myself, Bob thinks things through and can be be calculated and analytical. Bob is a warm spirit and has a heart of gold. Add in Lana's angelic spirit, optimism and zest for life you have a couple destined for greatness.Getting here had some luck involved but moving on from here is all about being great, putting in the hard work that marriage requires and enjoying ones self.

I improvised here.

Bob and I were running down a hill today and I commented that this is like being a kid. And that's part of moving forward the ability to have fun and enjoy yourself and remembering the kid inside.

Numbers (Simple Math Made Complicated)

2010-07-28T08:36:00.000-07:00

1/2 + 1/2 = 1/4

The theory of dumb (or drunk) or something people getting together. When two half minds get together you do not add the halves but rather multiply. When many half minds get together it gets ugly quickly. 1/2 raised to any power gets dumb real quickly.

2B Continued.

A lesson in Communication -How to Argue (The last temptation Jesus Christ(sic))

2010-07-13T09:09:00.000-07:00

Mel Gibson has come under fire after a recording of a hate-filled outburst at ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva was leaked onto the internet. An effective tool in couples communication.

MG “… because you’re trying to breastfeed with f***ing foreign bodies in you. Is that it?”
OG “That has nothing to do with it.”
MG “Oh, it has nothing to do with what – the fact that you had foreign bodies in there?”
OG “Correct.”
MG “Correct okay good. So you’re not lying to me about fake tits?”
OG “I never have.”
MG “Yes. Yes, you just did. You said they weren’t. You f***ing lied to me before.”
OG “I didn’t. I never said anything of the kind. You never asked me, I never told you. Or maybe you asked me but I never lied about this.”
---Dont ask dont tell
MG “Who cares, they look ridiculous, get rid of ‘em why don’t you. Anyway –“
-- Very loving very endearing MEL
OG “That’s not none of your f***ing business.”
MG “It is, it is. They look stupid. It’s just an appraisal. Keep ‘em if you want. Look stupid, see if I give a f***.”
MG “They’re too big and they look stupid. They look like some vegas bitch. They look like a vegas whore. And you go around sashaying in your tight clothes and stuff – I won’t stand for that anymore.”
-- Mel draws the line on sashaying
OG “I don’t walk around in tight clothes. I stay at home most of the time.”
Oksana Grigorieva: Yes?

Mel Gibson: Stay on this phone and don't hang up on me. I have plenty of energy to drive over there. You understand me? AND I WILL! SO JUST F------ LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO MY F------ RANTING. LISTEN TO WHAT YOU DO TO ME.
--well played Mel you should use kind words like I feel ot that makes me feel instead of LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO MY F------ RANTING.
OG: I didn't do anything to you.
MG: A pain in the ass!
OG: You are ruining my life!
MG: You make my life so f------ difficult!
OG: Well you know what, it's so --
MG: Why can't you be a woman who f------ supports me instead of a woman that sucks off me. And just f------ sucks me dry. And wants, and wants. Go through this relationship if you're a good woman and you love me. I don't believe you anymore. I'm sick of your bulls---! Has any relationship ever worked with you? NO!
--Now hes complaining about a woman that sucks off him. WOW
OG: Listen to me. You don't love me because somebody who loves does not behave this way.
(crosstalk)
MG: Shut the f--- up. I know I'm behaving like this because I know absolutely that you do not love me and you treat me with no consideration.
OG: One second please. Can I please speak?
MG: I love you because I've treated you with every kindness, every consideration. You rejected … you will never be happy. F--- you! Get the f--- away from me! But my daughter is important! All right? Now, you have one more chance. And I mean it. Now f------ go if you want, but I will give you one more chance. (huffing with anger) You make me wanna smoke. You f----- my day up. You care about yourself.
--You make me wanna smoke. Wow that was strong. Surprised she didn't just get naked there.
OG: You're so selfish.
MG: When I've been so f------ good to you. You f------ try to destroy me.
OG: I didn't do anything. I did not do anything. This is your selfish imagination. That's bull!
MG: Shut the f--- up! You should just f------ smile and blow me! 'Cause I deserve it.
-- Little early to play that card.
OG: I'm sleeping with the baby. I'm waking up every two hours. I fell asleep because I was waiting for you because you weren't ready to go to the jacuzzi as we agreed.
MG: Who the f--- cares? We agreed nothing.

I Hate FireWorks

2010-07-02T15:51:00.000-07:00

Fourth of July brings the hot season and every year in Oregon it just stops raining on the fourth of July.
For one thing, I will miss the rain.

I remember when I first moved to the Northwest.

We had a neighbor
Who got up at 8.
He drank a beer.
Walked to the end of the driveway.
And blew shit up.
Than at nine. (Could have been 830)
He drank a beer.
Walked to the end of the driveway.
And blew shit up.
REPEAT UNTIL MIDNIGHT

Nothing good comes from fireworks. Yeah yeah yeah , great orgasmic explosions in the sky.
You have to love the clandenstine stands that sprout up this time of year.
To sell fire works. One has to sneak over to the Couv to Buy them.
So a certain percentage of the population can blow off a finger.

And they scare the Dogs bigtime.
And people blow their hands off.
And stop on the Marcum bridge to see them.
So a certain percentage of the population can blow off a finger.

I 'll give you the finger. and Linger.

One can probably conclude that I am not a big fan of patriotism.
Not liking fireworks does not mean I am not patriotic.
But being over patriotic is pathetic.

But fourth of July is fun, I still like people who like fireworks.
Even those with six fingers om two hands
I even like hot dogs. Love them , but I don't eat them.

Heres are some great lyrics from a little Canadian band.
(Canada Day was July ist)

Love these lyrics -Tragically Hip Fireworks
If there's a goal that everyone remembers it was back in ol' 72

We all squeezed the stick and we all pulled the trigger
And all I remember was sitting beside you
You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey
And I never saw someone say that before
You held my hand and we walked home the long way
You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr

Fireworks exploding in the distance

Temporary towers soar
Fireworks emulating heaven
Til there are no stars anymore
Fireworks aiming straight at heaven
Temporary towers soar

Hashing, Russian Spies in American Suburbs

2010-07-01T13:38:00.000-07:00

Hashing, Russian Spies in American Suburbs: Shades of the Cold War? (12:07PM)

Ten Russians posing as ordinary Americans, including parents with children, have been arrested as "deep cover" spies after seven years of investigation by the FBI. Their alleged paymaster was picked up in Cyprus. US officials reportedly were astonished when Christopher Metsos was released on bail in the first place. Both countries say the incident won't damage relations, but a lot of questions remain. What were the agents doing here decades after the Cold War? Why have they been arrested now? If they posed a danger to national security, why don't they face more serious charges? Does the US have its own spy rings in Russia? We hear from a former CIA agent, a Russian scholar and others.

One my fondest memories was right after Aldrich Hazen Ames, was arrested out side his Arlington abode the DC hash House Harriers set a trail to his some what deserted house and continued to have the beer check on his back deck. I honestly can not remember the hares that day, I do remember it was a sunny day, and I remember sitting on his back desk and drinking a beer. If any body else remembers the details please help me fill them in. Its nice to have russian spies back.

Virginia residence,

Birth control for the Feet

2010-06-29T15:48:00.000-07:00

5 Toed Vibram running shoes arrived on Saturday. I ordered these shoes because my back and legs ache from running. More often than not I want to stop as opposed to keep running.

I missed my soccer game on Saturday and made the best of it and took the vibrams out for a test run not before actually taking 5 minutes to get on the shoe.

Aligning the toes was a piece of work and they are unconventionally tight. Despite this they seemed to be cool and comfortable.

Run One (Sat June 26th) - Was one of those see how it goes run. I half expected to pull up lame having a part of my leg or back aching but I kept going. It was 3.0 miles at a fairly slow pace but all in all it did not go all that bad. I was warned that my calves would hurt and the did not. (3.0 miles in 28 minutes). It should be noted it was a beautiful day with a beautiful breeze and when everything does not hurt you notice such things.

Run Two - (Sun June 27th) -A bold move running 2 days in a row and especially the morning after. things again went well with another splendid day. (3.5 miles in 33 minutes)

Run Three -(Monday June 28th) - At the start of the Oregon Kahuna hash run a friend I have not seen in 11 year tells me I got heavy. Not running health for a year tends to do that. STFU Steve it is nice to see you. I emerge out of the first shiggy batch with brambles and briar's stuck between the toes. (Never thought of that). Then we run down a rocky rail road patch (Never thought of that). and all in all it did not feel all that bad. My speed is still not there but I have enjoyed running the last few days. Oh yeah i walked about 1.7 miles with my wife before that. (5 miles in who knows).

I am expecting a set back somewhere but none has come of yet. Need to learn to run on my toes. Tonight's goal is for 40 minutes.
UPDATE
Here I sit 3 months later and the shoes are great and I am back to 30 miles a week, with only minor problems like when I set them next to the bed my wife asks me. WHAT STINKS

We Wuz Robbed!

2010-06-18T14:35:00.000-07:00

We Wuz Robbed! (The Hand Gun Nation was robbed)

JOHANNESBURG (AP)—Maurice Edu kicked the ball into the net just before the 86th minute. American players jumped around wildly, thinking they had capped a historic comeback, turning a two-goal, first-half deficit into a 3-2 victory over Slovenia.

“Then I heard the whistle,” Edu said
Referee Koman Coulibaly of Mali had called it off.
Over and over, American players asked, “Why?”
In English. Then in French. (Yes ironically in French)

Fans & players have a right to be livid after a referee cost the US team a place in World Cup history. An excerpt when Ireland was denied a place on the Center stage because of a disputed hand ball.

FIFA, the governing body of international football (soccer to Americans), rejected a request by the Football Association of Ireland to replay the controversial match on Wednesday that gifted a World Cup spot to France according to the New York Times. In their statement, FIFA properly said that "As clearly mentioned in the Laws of the Game, during matches, decisions are taken by the referee and these decisions are final."

It Is What It Is. During a career these things even out. People in the united States seem to be crying foul and I for one am not one of them. Its their own damn fault for starting with suck (sic) lethargy and one again bringing out the latent Irishmen that every American seems to need and want.

The again it is the American way where we have proven over and over again. Life is not fair.
We prove it in America everyday.
If you are poor. We seem to think Life isn't fair. GET OVER IT.
If you are a minority. We seem to think Life isn't fair. GET OVER IT.

In international football (soccer to Americans) referees are human and probably somewhat I little bit biased against the big bully oil guzzling Americans. Really can you blame them. Life isn't fair. GET OVER IT.
===========
For the record, I see the US edging out Algeria in the final game of match play thus avoiding the Germans in the first round. See what goes around comes around.

Suburbs Part 2

2010-06-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

Week one of soccer. We lost 5 to 2. Paul drove to the game and he printed out the directions. I assumed he printed out my directions. So we headed out to the the Couv (Beaverton with Washington plates) and Paul gets us to the game with 20 minutes to spare. From my suburban recollection we got off at mill pane made a a quick left and got there some how. (Remembering the quick left.)

Week 2 of soccer -We won . The commute was fine except somebody blew up the 205 bridge. We abandoned ship at half time about a mile before the I 205 bridge.

Week3 commute. Paul had a meeting with foreign dignitaries there fore I was the pilot. I printed out what i thought were the same directions. We got off at Mill Plan but the travels (sans the aforementioned immediate left) took us by different Olive Gardens and Chevy's. So I doubted my self and made an several illegal U turns and tried to find my way in suburbia only to get more and more lost. I decided to go back to my original directions that I had written down. Marina said to me this is where we were 20 minutes ago. So I followed the original directions doubting myself and meekly telling the kids this does not look at all like the way Paul and i went to the game. Which I found out it was not. We made it to the game as it was starting.

We lost 4 to 2. If I would have abandoned ship like last week I would have avoided spraining my ankle. Vancouver will not defeat me.

Lessons Learned.

1. When I play we lose when I do not we win.
2. Vancouver will not defeat me.
3. It is better to have played and sprained an ankle then not played at all.
4. ~~Sometimes~~ its good to have Paul in the Car.

Live in the Country or the City Because in My Humble Opinion Suburbs Suck

2010-06-09T08:18:00.000-07:00

Snippets from The Middle Lane on the Road to Nowhere

Beaverton residents invited to ‘talk chicken’

BEAVERTON, Ore. – The City of Beaverton will host a public forum Tuesday night on the issue of possibly allowing poultry within city limits. During the forum, City staff will outline the various components being examined for developing a draft ordinance as well as potential problems that could arise.

Chicken Shit lawmakers. Just get over it and allow chickens. What are they expecting Chickens to Take Over Beaverton. Forget I asked that question. They have a chicken Bar in Beaverton

HAPPY VALLEY, Ore. - The Clackamas County sheriff said Tuesday he’s concerned the new MAX line is dropping off more than passengers at Clackamas Town Center; it’s dropping off crime too.

Really what did you expect. The people at the mall want more people coming to your mall but expected no increase in anything except revenue. Certainly don't want those minorities and gang bangers out in Happy Valley.

And this case of whacked off Suburbanites

YAKIMA, Wash. (AP) - A 17-year-old testified that he had sex with a teacher in the back seat of her pickup truck in a Kmart parking lot in Yakima.

The teen testified Tuesday in Yakima County Superior Court that he had received a text message from Michele Taylor to meet him in May of last year and that she pulled him into the back seat.

Taylor is a 31-year-old physical education teacher at East Valley High School. She's charged with sexual misconduct and immoral communication with a minor.

The Yakima Herald-Republic reports that Taylor's husband, Kevin Taylor, is expected to be the first defense witness. He's also an East Valley physical education teacher. In the courthouse Monday he wore a T-shirt that read, "I love my wife

You have to admire the loyalty simplicity of the husband. Something leads me to believe his tee shirt was from a movie he saw at the cini-plex (sic). I would not be surprised if the boy showed up in court with a tee-shirt that reads, "I love his wife" and she shows up in court with a tee-shirt that reads I am with stupid with arrows pointing in many directions.

It always comes down to a pickup truck.

Al Gores wife by conveniently not listening to him.

2010-06-02T10:50:00.000-07:00

" The news about Al and Tipper Gore deciding to separate after 40 years of marriage shocked Washington - and those who know them - into a kind of frenzy: How could this be? They have always been the genuine political couple. The ones who were affectionate and caring; the ones who had fun. The couple who dared to smooch onstage at a national political convention. Al and Tipper were like Peanut Butter and Jelly. Always better together.And maybe they were. And what we saw was true. And maybe now - because it once was true and isn't anymore - they've decided to split."

Have you ever tried peanut butter and Banana sandwiches. For that measure, my favourite Peanut Butter, lettuce and cheese sandwiches can be quite tasty. Peanut Butter does not even have to go on bread. Many people secretly eat it with a spoon or sneak it into Vietnamese dishes. And Peanut Butter is fatal to many people but let me get off my hyperbolic band wagon. Hell marriage can kill people. I am too lazy to research whether AlGore Rhythm is having an affair but something tells me he is having a late in life mid life crisis.

He deserves it.
I am convinced this world is well on its way to being fu*ked and I am many times called an unrealistic rosy optimist. Something tells me the FusterCluck (sic) in the Gulf has something to with Al Gore getting a divorce. While Tipper was all focused on Petroleum products (lyrics on records) the rest of the world was acting like Al Gores wife by conveniently not listening to him.

I am pretty sure he is not having an affair with the tree in this photo.
Willard F. Harley, author of "His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage," doesn't know what caused the Gores to separate but he suspects infidelity. Particularly in a long-term marriages tested over time, couples won't give up easily, he said -- unless they have fallen for another person.

Or complete lack of tust and faith in things that matter to him. A man of faith whom has lost just that. Its smarmy mess.

Mad Cow Happy Salmon

2010-05-27T12:44:00.000-07:00

Salmon Burgers

Ingredients
5 slice(s) fresh whole wheat bread
3 eggs
1 can(s) (16-oz.) salmon, drained
3/4 cup(s) celery, chopped
1/3 cup(s) green onions, chopped
2 tablespoon(s) vegetable oil
4 English muffins
Frozen fries, optional
Directions
Process 5 slices fresh whole wheat bread in the blender or food processor (you’ll get about 2 1/2 cups crumbs).
Beat 3 eggs in a large bowl. Add a 16-oz. can salmon (drained), the bread crumbs, 2/3 cup chopped celery and 1/3 cup chopped green onions.
Shape firmly into 4 patties. Warm 2 Tbsp. vegetable oil in a skillet over medium heat; add patties and fry about 10 minutes, or until browned, turning once.
Place each burger on a toasted English muffin. Garnish with your favorite fixings and make some frozen oven fries for a side dish

This vegetarian dish is healthy and delicious

By Quick & Simple Staff
1 can(s) (15- to 19-oz.) black beans, rinsed and drained
2 tablespoon(s) mayonnaise
1/4 cup(s) (optional) chopped fresh cilantro
1 tablespoon(s) plain dry bread crumbs
1/2 teaspoon(s) ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon(s) hot sauce
nonstick cooking spray
1 head(s) lettuce
8 slice(s) tomatoes
Four 4-inch whole wheat pitas
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Directions
In large bowl, with fork, coarsely mash black beans, then mix with mayonnaise until almost smooth. Stir in cilantro, bread crumbs, cumin and hot sauce until combined.

With lightly floured hands, shape bean mixture into four 3-inch patties. Lightly spray both sides of each patty with nonstick cooking spray. Heat skillet over medium heat until hot. Add patties and cook until lightly browned, about 3 minutes per side, or until heated through.

Arrange lettuce leaves and tomato slices on warmed pitas; top with burgers and a dollop of mayo. Savory Black-Bean Burgers

Lost for Idiots

2010-05-19T11:50:00.000-07:00

What about the other passengers? What did they die for? They died because of union rules and the director of the show showing some fiscal restraint. One died of a broken heart as the plane was going down he screamed I love you Freckles

What about the other passengers who never got a storyline after crashing with the main body of Oceanic 815 survivors? And what about those who never even made to the island, sucked into the atmosphere when the plane split apart? Life and Death are like that get over it...

Those were not issues raised when Kate, Jack, Sawyer, and Hurley met Jacob, face-to-face by a campfire that was consuming Jacob’s ashes as he offered to answer their questions. Understandably, they had their own immediate concerns, such as how they were going to continue to survive. At that moment, though, they also became stand-ins for viewers as Lost continued to deal with some of its long-standing questions.See Maslow and his hierarchy of needs. Food and Living tomorrow are a major concern. Kate, Jack, Sawyer, and Hurley are arguably the most popular characters on the show and if they were demoted to the menial job of tending the islands inner working the finale would be anti climatic. Users in droves want to see Freckles naked and they are hoping that happens in next weeks climax. Sawyer parts his hair in the middle so his role is completely deserved. I am surprised Hurley has not become more buff over the years, but he has been proven to be crazy. He is fine where he is. Expect big things out of him on last next weeks show.

Why us? Your life was not going well. Jacob decides that. You were all in a jail cell together. My wife says it is race against time. She pays attention more than I do.
Despite Sawyer’s protest that they had been plucked from a life that was going just fine, even he could not dispute Jacob’s counter that they were all carrying deep personal flaws and shortcomings. They were not taken from ideal settings; they were in effect rescued from different types of unhappy circumstances. Divorce does that to people. They needed something to do and smoke Monsters provide that. Personally once in a while life does serve us Lemons and when it does many of us hope for all expense paid trip to Hawaii.
Why was Kate’s name scratched off the list? Jacob explained that she became a mom (in adopting Aaron), with that degree of fulfillment changing her makeup. But she was still welcome. Jacob that passive aggressive person has done this all his life. He could have been honest and said because you are hot. But no he did not.
Once again, Jacob stressed the importance of choice. Four candidates were gathered around, but he would not choose one. They would. Jacob that passive aggressive person that he is has done this all his life. He has a fire burning beside him and more importantly inside of him. There is a ton of firewood on the island but only an hour and 30 minutes of showtime left.

Kate asked a pivotal question: What if none of them agreed to step in and take over for Jacob in defending the island? What if they all said: Thanks, but no thanks. Believe me the last 90 minute show would have gone on. Its a moot point as the Island is going up in smoke. Like he has any chance of defending the Island against the Smoke Monster. Actually he does. Smoking will kill the Monster. TRUST ME.

As has so often been the case with Lost, dire consequences were predicted. Not to worry, and not surprisingly, Jack stepped forward. He would be the protector. The healer. The guardian. The successor.
Simply trying to get laid. Nothing more nothing less. he has issues.

Also not surprisingly, apparently, from the first scene of the first episode of the series, Jack was the one who woke up closest to the spiritual, glowing heart of the island. And it was obvious from last nights episode he had no idea it even existed. None what so ever.

As Kate, Hurley, and Sawyer watched from a distance, a ceremony followed between Jacob and Jack. A cup of water “blessed” by Jacob in hand, Jack literally and symbolically drank the Kool-Aid of the island (in a ceremony still fresh from the previous episode’s handoff by “Eve” to Jacob). Kate Hurley and Sawyer were not watching from a distance, but that's a moot point. Water symbolizes God or a creators blood as well as a passing of Eternal life.
Viewers were not shown every minute of the conversation with Jacob, but presumably there were many Lost mysteries not raised and answered. And, significantly, none of the explanations dealt with the “sideways world” because, apart from Desmond, none of them (in their island versions) are consciously aware of it. So much for characters as viewer surrogates probing all the series puzzles. We would not recognize a visitor from another planet and this metaphotr also holds true. it should be also noted that never once in this series has a person ever ever looked for their keys...Because they don't need keys.

One of which is: Does Fake Locke know about the sideways world? He’s talking about using Desmond (described as Jacob’s “Fail Safe” backup) but does Locke know HOW Desmond would function that way?

NO- Not a clue

For the finale, we should be ready for twists that seem to “resolve” one issue but, in fact, open the door to an alternative. Last season’s opening image of Jacob was as one who weaves elaborate yarns. This one (including the selection of Jack as new island protector) may not be exactly what it is touted to be.
Really - and that goony girl in the goony glasses whom Lock (aka Smoking Monster) slit her throat is not really dead. Well I have nothing to refute that claim.

Fake Locke may think he has won, but behind that victory …In fact, all of the explanations shared by Fake Locke and Jacob are conspicuous in one way: their incomplete nature. They’ve shared what they need to share, not necessarily the whole story. As has the Lost team. The Fake Fake locke will end up being the real locke.Its a lock.

Options
Negatively: the plane crash was the reality. All these experiences, including the sideways time shifts have also been there to inform and expand their spiritual and emotional experiences, allowing them to at last move to the next level. (Translation: Yeah, they’re dead.) Please see the movie waking life where brain activity can go on relatively forever, George Santayana's maxim: "Sanity is a madness put to good uses; waking life is a dream controlled.

Positively They’re not dead, and this has not been quite a dream, but it has been a dreamlike alternate experience. Intense in its detail. Meant to inform and expand the spiritual and emotional experiences of the central passengers in what we’ve come to describe as the “sideways”/non-crash world. They are mostly all the better for it (Ben obviously still has island issues) and it may be that after a positive final event (perhaps the concert they’re attending or perhaps Locke’s surgery, or even his wedding) . Lockes Wedding....to whom Benjamin Linus and isn't Locke a smoke Monster by now.

The real question of the day is why is the show on from 1000 to 1130 and then followed up analysis on the the Jack Parr show. And on a Sunday to boot.

The final scene of the show (remember I have seen 7 episodes) will feature Hurley Burly, Freckles and Sawyer enjoying a well deserved smoke and a beer as Locke wakes up post surgery having removed the inner smoke Monster that has tormented him for years. Timbers will win 2-1.

Throwing Darts into the Cosmos or Vice Versa

2010-05-12T16:51:00.000-07:00

The blind banality of nothing does not foreshadow awhole heck of a lot.

As May unfolds for the first

time in 50 years the everyday

is not all that exciting and it

needs to be. It really does

our little sushie eater

turns 15 this week end it

seemed like only yesterday but

there is evidence that

it was not yesterday

because yesterday

we had sushi celebrating

her turning 15

which is really this weekend

The smoke monster....Really I am lost.

Communications defined

Communication is a process whereby information is enclosed in a package and is channeled and imparted by a sender to a receiver via some medium. The receiver then decodes the message and gives the sender a feedback. All forms of communication require a sender, a message, and an intended recipient, however the receiver need not be present or aware of the sender's intent to communicate at the time of communication in order for the act of communication to occur. Communication requires that all parties have an area of communicative commonality.

Damn that sounds harder than it should. i guess the definition of communication is also difficult.

I dont know what IDK means...Does that make me stupid. I just don't know.

Convservatives and Tea Baggers are so god (NPI) damn mad at home sexuals and giving their money to the poor.

Too much money. "Wealthy Christian" should be an oxymoron. In Luke 12:33, Jesus says, "Sell your possessions and give to the poor." In Matthew 19:21, he says, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor." In Matthew 6:24, he says, "You cannot serve God and Money." Christians are generally pretty huge on cleaving to the word of God. I just don't see how those particular words could be clearer. (For more on this, see my post "Christians: No Fair Heeding Paul on Gays, But Not Jesus on Wealth.")

Back to communication and religion

One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we've been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We're no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. it is simply too painful to acknowledge -- even to ourselves -- that we've been so credulous. (So the old bamboozles tend to persist as the new bamboozles rise

Throwing Darts into the Cosmos or Vice Versa

I Woke up in Love this Morning

2010-04-06T15:46:00.000-07:00

My co worker just lent me The Very Best of the Partridge Family.
I honestly thought it was impossible to own a Partridge family album.
Track Listing
1.Come on and Get Happy - I am happy I have the kahunas to actually listen to this.
2.I Think I love You - (We have all thought it) -I believe this song was written about one of the Brady Sisters.

BabaBaBa

I'm sleeping

And right in the middle of a good dream

When all at once I wake up

From something that keeps knockin' at my brain.

Before I go insane

I hold my pillow to my head

And spring up in my bed

Screaming out the words I dread:

"I think I love you!"

Those are some lyrics, some of Romeo's finest. Complete sentences with a declaritive at the end.

3. Baby I love You - No longer thinking about it.

4. I woke Up in love this morning. A romantic sojourn about having to sleep on the wet spot. Endearing

5. Point me in the Direction Of Albuquerque -then please shoot me. Heres a Utube link.

I am not listing the rest of the songs as they are the best songs ever made with that title by the Partridge family.

Then there is this classic 6. Stephanie

Stephanie, whose eyes are blue

What would life be like with you

I've just been wondering and I'd sure like to see

If you've been a thinkin' the same about me

And I'm doin' all I can do

All but the growin' and that's up to you

David Cassidy that passive aggressive Richard Cranium, puts the ball in Stephanies court and she still has not answered him.

David Cassidy eventually asks the question of the decade on Track 13.
Doesn't Somebody Want To Be Wanted like Me -Where Are You?

He later states I start each day and end each night like everybody else.

David Cassidy the Common Man.

Later in this classic cd David States. "Being Born was My Big Mistake" -Looking in the Eyes of love. A song for the ages Very uplifting.

Anyway the Partridge Family are playing the Rose Garden on May 5th opening up for ColdPlay. Buy this album to catch up on the classics.

All in the Name of Religion (My Easter Sermon)

2010-04-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

(~~CNN~~) -- A Malaysian model who was sentenced last year to six strokes of a cane for drinking beer in public has had her sentence commuted, her lawyer said Thursday.

Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno will now instead be required to perform three weeks of community service -- beginning Friday. The sentencing drew headlines worldwide at the time and caused an uproar, with many citing it as an example of growing fundamentalism in the multiracial country.
Muslims -- who make up about 60 percent of the 28 million who populate the country -- are forbidden from consuming alcohol. Other religious groups are exempt.

As one of my favourite preachers (Bart Simpson) once said "Dad if we are praying to the wrong god we are screwed". And one of lifes largest sacrifices giving up drinking beer. Thats a bit of a red herring, with the biggest sacrifice here is that she is a woman

And then there is the Catholic Church

It seems to me," he wrote, "that we owe Pope Benedict a great debt of gratitude for introducing the procedures that have helped the church to take action in the face of the scandal of priestly sexual abuse of minors."

And yes there may be steps taken, very tiny baby steps to a crime of literally molestation of children. The most vulnerable of our society. We retroactivley try war criminals, why not people in the church.

On the "Belief in God —Darwin
Religion. — There is no evidence that man was aboriginally endowed with the ennobling belief in the existence of an Omnipotent God. On the contrary there is ample evidence, derived not from hasty travellers, but from men who have long resided with savages, that numerous races have existed, and still exist, who have no idea of one or more gods, and who have no words in their languages to express such an idea. The question is of course wholly distinct from that higher one, whether there exists a Creator and Ruler of the universe; and this has been answered in the affirmative by some of the highest intellects that have ever existed."

But as this time of year is bit paradoxical. I love religion but I am not religious. I have a hard time with Easter as with the resurrection. I have a hard time believing it or translating the intended metaphor. But with a church does come community and a common good as opposed to a common foe and in it all I see the inherent self worth of every person I walk this planet with. We all matter. And I gave thanks to our minister who teaches an open mind and an open heart. He is an inspiration.

Where the easter bunny fits into this is a conundrum to me. And peeps, I guess its about putting faith in your peeps, your community, your friends and family.

Therefore I love

2010-03-19T15:32:00.000-07:00

today i eschew so few cashews

tomorrow abhoring whoring

how boring

health care reform

is less

care for the careless

insuring insurers

echew tissues

its baseball season

its spring and this

time next week

it won't be

for the tulip in my

yard won't be

and your two lips

will be kissing

on spring break

a break from

spring and

spring onions

happily

Just random stuff....

2010-02-26T10:48:00.000-08:00

Just random stuff....

Marina Plays Softball
Got a call from our daughter last night and she says she has made the softball team. I honestly do not think she knows which way to run the bases. But bless her for trying and I get not wait to lace it up with her.

Dinner at Montage
Had dinner with a friend from high school last night. It is such a pleasure to me to have a deep conversation that sometimes veer beyond my thinking for that night. Much like running with Sprocket years ago..He was fast as hell and made me faster. Having dinner with Steve reminded me of a group in high school that kind of raised my ship a little. They expanded me to think that I could do calculus and go out for plays

Tragically Hip
Listening to the latest tragically Hip cd and remember driving around with my wife the week we got married. I had that cd on alot. I still listen to it a lot. Sometimes this song brings a tear to my eyes. It is beautiful.

In the Intro to this Song
He talks about about pointing out the moon to a little boy...Which I remember so fondly. Both kids liked looking at the moon. Even though Max could only call it ...Mun.

My wife and I went for a bike ride Today.
Purchased a nice bike with mu wife at a great little Mom and pop shop. Love the customer service and loved just wheeling around town. Look foeward to doing some riding on the washington coast this weekend.

And a little walk with Lucy
And ran into an old friend. Well shes not old but I am. And she has been there on and off for so many years and I appreciate that.

Usually I write about something, today I just dabble in nothing in particular, realizing that i am pretty lucky.

I usually write about something,

I had a dream

2010-02-22T15:54:00.000-08:00

I had a dream last night last night. I also had a stomach problem last night which led to a lot of light sleeping and I could remember my actual dreams.
In one I was in a bathroom somewhere, any where and so an oldish lady kept getting up on the counter and smashing into the mirror with her shoulder.
Analysis - I am crazy. Obviously Sigmund Frued would say say sometimes an old lady on a sink is simply an old lady on a sink.

I also had a dream where I was working away in a cubicle and a lady in a blue dress was sitting above my cubicle. I did not look at her and all I know there was somebody in a flowing blue dress above my cubicle.
Analysis once again I am crazy. But some quick searches lends this..

To dream that you are dreaming, signifies your emotional state. You are excessively worried and fearful about a situation or circumstance that you are going through. Maybe thats true or possible a fortune cookie response.

The Apple Never Falls Far from the Apple Sauce

2010-01-20T08:47:00.000-08:00

I was standing in the kitchen the other day and Marina tells me about a conversation that she had with GrandPop.

She told me that GrandPop called her on the cell phone and asked her how her girlfriend is doing. Upon a little investigation I finally put two and two together.Dad’s intent was to actually call Max on the Phone.
But of course he dialed Marina,

Thinking he was talking to Max he said, “How is your Girlfriend?”
And Marina answered the phone and never indicated that she was not Max.
And she went about her day never thinking twice about it.
Until I was standing in the kitchen with her and she asked me why GrandPop thinks she has a girlfriend.

Max's First Date

2010-01-11T10:42:00.000-08:00

Avatar behind the scenes

So it happens to all parents. We left Max’s soccer game on Saturday (they lost 9-7) to an adventure of different sorts. Yes Max had a date. I had the pleasure of picking up Max’s friend (girl friend) at her house on Saturday afternoon.

I have no idea the proper etiquette here. Should I contact her parents should I take pictures, should he pay should they go dutch, should it come out of his allowance. I asked how should I refer to her as his friend, his girl friend or what. “Just call her Alin he said.

Max is usually a bit of a show off when he has friends over. He is never really good in those situations, but he was completely at ease and he is way beyond where I was at his age. He was a perfect gentleman. They hugged when they saw each other.

I picked them up after the movie and they were just sitting in subway enjoying each others company. They wanted to go to Annie’s Donuts but it was closed.

We (Marina and I) gave Alin a ride home after the movie. Marina told her we were a strict Catholics. Which scared her for 2 seconds until Marina burst out laughing? Alin felt at home.

Doing HomeWork with RCM

2010-01-07T10:57:00.000-08:00

RCM -Parent Interviews
Riley had a home work assignment to interview her parents and grand parents and I had my turn last night.

Here were some of the questions.

What was your favourite/least favourite subjects in school. Do you give them the answer they want or the answer that is yours. Well to be honest I do not know the answer to this. So I went with Literature as my favourite (I love reading anything new) and Wood Shop as my least favourite (who knew Fiberglass could catch on fire).

There was a question about dating and I told the true story of sprinting the last half mile of a daily run so that I could get home and ask Jenna to go out with me. It was some where in the last half mile of that run that it cliqued that I should and wanted to date the girl i eventually did marry.

And If I had any advice what would it be?

Do what you love (So cliched and so true). Thats probably why I am a sitting here writing instead of working right now.
Be uncomfortable Once in a While -We grow that way doing things we are not comforable with. I became a better runner running with people way faster than myself. I also watch my older daughter playing VollyBall with players that may be way better than her and she has gotten quite good. I remember hanging out with the smart kids in school and it sure helped me alot more than my usual sports and get into trouble friends.

Most Significant School Moment- Quitting Football and trying out for the play. Please see Number 2.

I enjoy these little assignments. The other day Riley wrote a paper on How Cancer Cells Work. It was a great read and I actually learned something along the way. Same as I did with the above Interview.

Greatest love story Never told

2009-12-31T16:11:00.000-08:00

By me

Two years ago to the day, I got home from work at around 8:30 having just finished year end close. I honestly had no plans and I do not actually remember making any plans for the evening but the details are kind of sketchy.

The expanding past- As things get further and further

into the past they expand at an exponential

pace sometimes obscuring the truth.

Well Jen (this story ends well) had gone to the midnight run and pounded a few beers with her at the time best friend (i will call her Teresa). She may have called me to tell me she was coming over or maybe she didn't but I remember sitting on the sofa drinking a beer (it may have been a bad beer) and I get a call from Miss Jen that she was headed over to my house.

I forgot -What I neglected to remember is that this was not

entirely out of the blue as she had been

to the house a few weeks earlier as she made/bought

me dinner from Ernesto's after an ill fated 31 mile

run across wild trail.

Well a girl I was really hot for was coming over to the house in 45 minutes and I contemplated cleaning the entire house, or lighting candles or having another beer. I did one of these and long behold Jen shows up post run, post beer with the movie (I may screw this up) "Sleepless in Seattle. It was some Meg Ryan movie, and I know it wasn't you got mail.

You got female. It was somewhere around 1:30 in the morning

we sat down on the couch in my newly cleaned

house and watched that movie. I remember nothing about

the movie, but we smooched and kissed and

all that kind of stuff.

We got very little sleep that night.

The next day i was in a daze and

actually wrecked a baby stroller.

(This part of the tale is absolutely true).

We ended up dating, and getting married so today is not actually our anniversary. Its actually (TFDWST). I'll leave it at that. I love you my dear. Happy anniversary of sorts.

ode. for xmas tree

2009-12-28T23:52:00.000-08:00

this
year's
Christmas
tree was bought
from a little vintage
shop up the road that
we carried by hand and paid
in cash and it lived and sparkled
with us for three weeks like part of
the family just shiny brilliantly, just like
any other blessed family member would for
only on this day
Christmas
2009 Happy
Holidays

2009-12-18T10:31:00.000-08:00

Christmas Traditions

Start a Christmas tradition by adopting this elf from Santa's workshop who checks on your child's behavior and reports back to Santa every night, finding a new hiding place in the house every morning on his return. Fun for the whole family

But our family had traditions that where off the shelf.

1. Oh By Gosh By Golly

Like this crazy ass song. We all know it as Oh By Gosh By Golly. My uncle played it over and over again on his school record player. Washed down with a few high balls.

2.The Electric Knife

Then there is the time honoured tradition of the sporting event on the television. Grandmother Schofer always started the electric knife with a minute left in the game. So we never knew who won. I always love after dinner when some lady in a large fir coat from the neighborhood stopped by. They were such colorful characters.

3. The off the wall Gift.

MomMom was a classic for giving the unexpected. One year we got a big pot with an American flag, another year we all got a safe. I still have that safe. It keeps things safe. Same with the big pot and the flag. Not sure what that does.

4. Copes Corn

For generations, John Cope's Food Products has been producing dried sweet corn from varieties that are grown in the heart of the Pennsylvania Dutch Country. These naturally sweeter varieties are harvested in the early stages of maturity, processed, then air dried to remove the moisture, preserve the nutrients, and impart the golden color and toasted sweet corn flavor. I still have not figured this one out.

5. Crab, Shrimp and French fries -Not sure when this tradition started. Circa 1989 . But this one I love, Seafood for the holidays. Reminds me we have to order our crab today.

Unfateful Faith

2009-12-17T11:42:00.000-08:00

Faith is an absolute weird thing, and I must stand back and reflect when people have this much faith in anything. I do not even have faith that our brand new washing machine will get the wash clean.

Have faith this link will work

Bartow, Florida (CNN) -- After more than three decades in prison, a Florida man was set free Thursday after a DNA test showed he did not kidnap and rape a 9-year-old boy in 1974.
"I'm not angry," James Bain, 54, told reporters after a brief hearing in Bartow, Florida.
Bain was 19 when he was convicted on charges of kidnapping, burglary and strong-arm rape. He received a life sentence. He's going home for the first time in 35 years.
"I got God in my head," said Bain, surrounded by supporters and wearing a T-shirt with "Not Guilty" across the front. "I knew one day he will reveal me."

Then the families of these climbing victims know their loved ones are in heaven. I can not even imagine what heaven looks like, but something tells me it is not full of white clouds and angels. And the faith they had on the weather and their fitness. That's faith of a different kind. Based on a little experience.

GOVERNMENT CAMP, Ore. -- The family members of the two climbers still mis

sing on Mt. Hood said they've come to terms with the reality that they won't see their loved ones alive again and they're at peace, knowing Katie Nolan and Anthony Vietti are in heaven now.

These stories compelling and disturbing as they are show people at peace based on something completely unknown to me but known to others. I tip my hat to them.

WTF

2009-12-10T15:19:00.001-08:00

Just for the hell of it I am saving this as a place holder as I happen to like it.

Why would anybody cheat on their good looking wife with a horse.

It looks like we out sourced being stupid to Japan

My mother in law threatened to throw brussel sprouts at my wife.

My sister in law loudly proclaimed "I did not know you had a gay brother" to my step dad, who prefers to keep it low key.

My wife had a zit on her face and my grandmother asker her if It is that time of month.

Back to my mother in law she thinks she is in Denver. She is not.

Back to my mother in law she called her son a shit.

Back to me, I can not fing my cell phone, my car keys and theintake valve to our fuel tank.

The Suburbs Suck

2009-12-10T14:57:00.000-08:00

Beaverton Stole Jesus Christ

BEAVERTON, Ore. -- Christmas hasn't arrived for the Eichnebergers until the family Nativity has gone up out front of their Beaverton home. Bonnie Eichenberger says it gives her "a warm feeling inside."
"The neighbors love it, too, and it just reminds us of what Christmas is all about," she added.
A Nativity scene depicts the biblical story of Jesus Christ's birth to the Virgin Mary, in a Bethlehem manger, along with witnesses to the miracle.
On Tuesday, someone stole Jesus.
Eichenberger said she was shocked to find her manger empty - and called to report someone had stolen Jesus Christ.
"I asked the police officer if he could put out an A-P-B for baby Jesus," chuckled Eichenberger, referring to a crisis-emergency response from police. “I knew it would be hard to find him but it just really upset me that somebody would do that."
Why would someone steal baby Jesus, Bonnie asked her husband Wednesday.
But thieves were not done. The Eichenbergers awoke Thursday to find their Nativity further desecrated.
"I went outside, and Joseph and Mary were gone, too!" Bonnie said.

A-P-B for baby Jesus (Anywhere Probably Beaverton)

Wash. student gets tongue stuck to flagpole

VANCOUVER, Wash. – It sounded like something out of the popular holiday movie, “A Christmas Story” but it was actually a real-life drama for a Vancouver boy whose tongue got stuck to a flagpole in below-freezing temperatures outside his school Wednesday morning

What the FU**.

West Linn librarian in trouble for using profanity in class

Some parents of West Linn middle school students are angry that their children were exposed to vulgar language by their teacher. They hoped to share their frustrations with the school board Monday night.
The parents complained that they were never asked or even told that their children’s librarian was going to write and use profanity as part of a lesson on controversial books.
However, when they heard what happened afterwards, from their 8th grade children, the parents said they were furious and in disbelief. They said the teacher exposed their kids to more than a dozen curse words.
“There was the “F-word” and another foul word written on the board. The teacher yelled them at the kids and then asked the kids to yell them back at him," said parent Elizabeth Thiede. She also explained that her child was upset by the display that was apparently carried out as part of a language arts unit at Athey Creek Middle School.

F**king Idiots

Teenage hunter shot by uncle
Victim wore camo, not orange, say authorities
By John Erickson
Monday, December 7, 2009
In what Yamhill County authorities are calling a tragic accident, a 15 year old hunter has been shot and killed by his uncle--who thought he was taking aim at an elk.
Matthew Gretzon of Salem was hunting with his father, his uncle Troy Gretzon of Grand Ronde, and Troy's 11-year old daughter Sunday morning when the uncle fired his rifle into heavy brush where an elk had been seen earlier, said Yamhill County Sheriff's Captain Ken Summers.

Tales From Advantage Island

2009-11-30T16:17:00.000-08:00

I may not get all of the facts straight here as in times of crisis things are interpreted in different ways to different people and things are heard how you want to hear them.

Case in point (Snippets from a Conversation in the Emergency Room)

My Lovely Wife (talking to her semi lucid loopy Mother) -Mom you might go home someday in the near future.
Her Wise Ass Brother James - Mom do you understand what we are talking about here.
My Lovely Wife - Mom some things are going to have to change when you get home.
Marilyn (GG) - breathe gasp breathe gasp silence deep breath I know
My Wife like drinking and smoking
Maralyn (GG) - breathe gasp breathe gasp silence deep breath I know
My wife How does that make you feel?
Maralyn (GG) - PWERHORIFUL (It was unclear the answer)

James heard -Powerful
Jenna heard -Strong
Mark heard -Horrible.

To make a long story short my mother in law has been on her death bed for somewhere between the last 9 nine days or the last 3 and a half years how ever you want to define it.

Well to be more specific the last seven days have been without a moment of levity since she decided to call the paramedics and have an ambulance take her to the hospital. One would think three weeks of not holding anything down would be a hint, but who are we to judge until we have walked a mile in their colon.

I have not seen her for various reasons that are beyond the scope of this introspection. I am not going into the details of the 20 minutes before going into the hospital as they were very funny for our own reasons that are between myself my wife and her brother. We were tired and we were giddy.

So we get into the hospital and James and Jen ask me to wait in the waiting room just to get me clearance to the emergency room. (They warned me that their mother was not in a pretty state (IE New Hampshire)). I sat in the waiting room and read Yoga magazine. As I was viewing a photo of a delicate woman with a yoga mat in a hut in Liberia, James came out with a deer in the head lights look on his face. He looked at me with a WTF look and said his Mom looks better than she has looked in days.

I walked into the room and GG did in fact look much better than I expected and to top things off she was talking. Jenna asked where she was and who was in the room with her.

She said Mark and James and Jenna and curiously Phil. (None of us were able to actually see this Phil person, but we are fairly certain James later ran into him at Starbucks) Jenna asked her where she was right now.

She said she was on an island in Ireland called Advantage Island. Wondering how her mom would interpret the many tubes, machines, nurses that surrounded her, she asked - then who is Justin and why is he here with us? (Justin was the ICU nurse) Her mom replied - he is my therapist. Jenna asked her, "so you travel with your therapist?" Yes.

Jenna's mom despises therapists. We all looked at each other with a collective WTF.

She then said that she wanted a drink.
Jen asked her to repeat that.
She then said that she wanted to drink.

I interpreted that she wanted some wine and La Familla Bruner thought she wanted some water in her dry mouth. Happilly La Familla Bruner were used to this ritual.

Later that night James asked the Nurse on duty to confirm that she did not know where she was.

Nurse -Marilyn we have gone over this before, What has happened to you.
Marilyn (GG) -I had my tummy worked on.
Nurse -What hospital are you in.
Marilyn (GG) - St. Vincent
Nurse - Where is St Vincents
Marilyn (GG) - Beaverton

Apparently she was pulling our legs.
Or you have to know what questions to ask.
James as were walking out. (somewhat to himself) -Hell of a time to spin a tale.

19 things that I am thankful for

2009-11-25T09:39:00.000-08:00

Health , Friends and Family are a given but a shout out non the less.

In the last year I married a wonderful woman, Max is blossoming with hiccups, Marina is at peace on a blessed path and Riley enlightens everything she touches.

1. Patience
2. Music
3. Portland Timbers Games
4. Public Radio
5. Portland Pilots Woman's Soccer
6. My neighbors -We are blessed with great ones.
7. Our neighborhood - Hollywood district in Portland is fantastic.
8. Fences that most of the time keep bad beagles in the yard.
9. Morning Star Farm sausage patties
10. Autumn
11. The McKenzie River
12. The Wild Wood Trail
13. Learning with my Wife
14. My job is stable and somewhat fun.
15. Chutney
16. That grey blanket we got as a wedding present.
17. The fireplace.
18. Going for a walk with my wife.
19, The new tragically Hip cd.
20 . Spring Onions

Another Case if Ill Fated OutSourcing

2009-11-19T10:24:00.000-08:00

Starry-eyed children writing letters to the jolly man at the North Pole this holiday season very likely won't get a response from Santa Claus or his helpers.
The U.S. Postal Service is dropping a popular national program begun in 1954 in the small Alaska town of North Pole, where volunteers open and respond to thousands of letters addressed to Santa each year. Replies come with North Pole postmarks.

Well it seems the Postal Service has decided to Out Source this still popular Service. For awhile they were going to go the traditional route and have this done in China or possibly India. Spokesperson Clave Cliffin, says of the move "we do not have the expertise or manpower to cross that religious divide. Christmas is all about religion and Christ and giving those to a non Christian country would be sack religious.(sic).

Well Cliffin expanded on this and has told our sources that they intend to hit the ball out of the park with their new out sourcing option So apparently Jesus him self along with some of his disciples will be filling the role this year. Bartholomew, the self centered wacko disciple has opted out as he will be at the his sister in laws house in Bethlehem Pennsylvania. Jesus seems quite pleased with his new found duties. He says he got some great paper and some great ideas for heart felt notes. "Jesus Christ how hard could it be" he added.

Oprah and Aristotle sitting in a tree

2009-11-18T11:18:00.000-08:00

These lyrics to a song by Low
I'll stay out all night
Looking at the sky
I'll still have my sight
Yeah, I'll still have my eyes
And we will make love
We won't have to fight
We won't have to speak
And we won't have to lie
And I'll stop writing songs
Stop scratching out lines
I won't have to fake
And it won't have to rhyme
When I go deaf
When I go deaf
When I go deaf
When I go deaf (etc)

Now thats a unique way to avoid miscommunication.

This is what the fat Lady Sings

They (so called experts) sum up in three "acts" the breakdowns and breakups of most relationships since the beginning of time:
Act 1: You hurt me.
Act 2: Because you hurt me, I now hurt you.
Act 3: Because you hurt me, I now hurt you and so you hurt me again and so I hurt you -- and downward spiraling we shall go.

Aristotle says: "Anybody can become angry -- that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way -- that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."

I am not a couples expert but this seems so on the button.

Gottman's 3 conflict strategies:
• Avoidance/stonewalling (the worst)
• Fighting (better than avoidance, but still not healthful or helpful)
• Validation (the winning method -- which means really trying to see things from the other person's point of view, and sharing all views with kindness, and the goal of finding a win-win compromise!)

So I think Aristotle had it partially right but something in my memory tells me that he lived in a different time at a slower pace with less technology and he may have been gay (like that matters but 2 people of the same sex seem to fight more fair) but he is a bit on to something.

But trying to see things from the other persons point of view is so darn essential and if you simply ask your self in the middle of that conflict “I wonder how that makes her feel” no matter if you are wrong or you are right you well along the road to “sane discourse”.

We all want to be right, but its okay to be wrong gracefully. Its an art form and work on perfecting it.

But what makes Aristotle so smart, or for that note, me so smart or my wife so smart. Well you appear smarter when acting out of kindness.

There is a lot of literature out there that we reward kids for too many things, ie participating. Those so Called Experts (TSCE) say we should be rewarding them for winning. Boy that kicks conventional wisdom right in the teeth and at times other places. As we age and mature it is not always about winning or being right.

And by all means listen. Perfect it. And listen to your self.

Listen and Silent have the same letters in them.

On a side note some times I perceive our therapist needs more help than we need help and Oprah and Aristotle would have had nice babies.

Not Half Slow or Half Full or Half Fast

2009-11-12T10:14:00.000-08:00

My oh my there are a lot of bad news out there. I just learned a very dear friend has been diagnosed with a grim out look for what is left of her life. It is times like this I wish life was
a bit more fair and I had a little more faith.

Last weeks headlines were of shootings in Fort Dix. Yesterday a gunman in Tualatin and
today a family in Bethany is erased from what can be a lovely planet.
One of the kids at my son's school came home from out door school to learn that his mother and sister had been shot. Holy shit, talking about real life knocking you silly and numb.
I have my own personal belief about guns and personally abhor guns but I do not believe guns are the core of the problem.

We as a society in the United States have very little compassion for those in need, for
those with a lack of hope.

For now I am just going to list a few great things in life.

1. The love of friends and family. It might be a cliche of sorts, but its a shame if it is. The simpleness of friends and family should be cherished, nurtured and not taken for granted. Take a few minutes to just reflect back on that. Its beautiful simple thing.

2. Movement - A body in motion is a mind in motion, use them both as they are at your core.

3. Music - If if sounds good it is good. If it moves you get moving.

4. Listen -it has the same letters as silence.

5. Change - 2 months ago the trees were green, the days hot and sunny and tomatoes were hanging on to the last rays of summer. Today we had thunder and lightning and the sky was brilliant hue of angry purple. Both beautiful in its own regard. Each day is unique and beautiful if you let it be.

My friend has a few precious weeks to live and as far as I know I have many many two weeks to live. I am grateful for that.

Just listen

Sometimes Music Hits The Ear Just Right

2009-11-11T10:53:00.000-08:00

Fall is a time I generally trend toward classical music. I have no idea why and in general I really do not care all that much. I still remember the first time I heard Edward Elgar's music I was sitting at my desk working a dull cost accountant job for Godiva Chocolatier. It was early fall and was the same time period ironically I was also introduced to the Tragically Hip, The Cowboy Junkies and 10000 Maniacs. It was a time when my musical curiosity was exploding but I kept taking sojourns into classical music. To be honest, I may have initially listened to it because I could listen to it at my desk and not offend too many people. Ironically I remember a few years later an obnoxious co worker being offended by Mozart's variation on a theme. Accountants are not all that cultured.

Anyway back to Elgar.

Completed in 1919, the Cello Concerto was Edward Elgar's last major work for orchestra, and his most confessional. In spite of fleeting moments of idyllic release, it's dominated by disillusionment, by a sense of suffering that at times cries out against life, yet more often speaks in quiet anguish. Elgar had been ill, and he was deeply depressed by the Great War's destruction of the world he had known. All of this he poured into a concerto for the cello — not such an unlikely instrument, considering its rich-toned yet brooding personality and its searing, dark timbre.

As Peter Shickley often suggests, if it sounds good, It is good. In this case Elgar's piece always means autumn to me. Its a simple expression of the human soul and for me coming to terms with the darkness and rich beauty that comes with autumn. It also hints at hope as I envision a simple yellow leave fall to the ground only to fertilize the ground for next spring. Give it a listen here if so compelled. It sounds good Mr. Schickley.

Texting From a Unicycle - A Dangerous Novel

2009-11-04T09:34:00.000-08:00

---Note this is Purely Fiction as Part of National Book Writing Month--

There is no such thing as a perfect fall day, but if there was today was one of them. The winds were whipping like crazy and the sky was clearer than I can remember. But to be quite honest I am not the the best at remembering things. My forte is actually forgetting things.

How in the world did I get into this business. I used to have this great corporate job with a drawer full of paper clips and assorted colored sticky notes. A pay check came every other week. It just showed up in the bank. And now for a living I have short circuited that loop. I now rob banks for a living.

And in today's newspaper the local paper has front page head lines of a serial bank robber on the loose. Damn not great timing.

PORTLAND, Ore. -- The FBI calls him the Fantasia Bandit for allegedly robbing the Fantasy Adult store on W. Broadway twice. But on Tuesday the armed robber was fingered for the fourth Hollywood-area bank heist in three weeks, according to FBI spokesperson Beth Anne Steele.
The MBank branch at 3636 NE Broadway was hit just before 2 p.m. “No sooner did I get back from lunch I noticed there were quite a few police cars canvassing the area,” said Bryan Andersen who works across the street at Mackin’s Auto Body.

Not a great day to be a bank robber. It looks like I am going to have to take the day off. Well not take the day off, but rather think about making an honest living or at least a living that won't have me ending up in jail. But I love the thrill of it. What fun was it stealing paper clips and note books from my more conventional job.

But it was a steady income. And being a border line substance abuser and non successful gambling addict I need this second job. But for today I just stroll down 29Th avenue admiring the remaining golden maple leaves that dot the Northwest skies. It's an ever changing sky and today the sky in in its brilliant black and purple hint at chaos.

When did we as a society get obsessed or taught to be obsessed with things such as erectile dysfunction and pissing too many times in a day. Its nice that spam marketers have as a target market a certain part of my body.

I remembered I had three beers in the frig, a half pound of ham and 4 bags of those Tostitos which I have nothing to scoop up. The little bills I had I have paid in cash but things were running rather thin. My head pounded from the soberness of it all. The bright after noon sun made my eyes heart and my mouth was dry.

The idea of robbing banks was glamorous to him, but looking at his hierarchy of needs it was food on the table and a few bottles of beer in the refrigirator that where the utmost concern to him. A cozy dark bar sat on the south east corner of the intersection where he now stood.

For a second he pondereed, walking into the pool hall. The pool hall and the seemingly happy people milling about brought a quiet comfort to him; he hated to admit it but at his core he was quite lonely. He also remembered that he had little money on him and this constant reminder hung over him like the constant threat of rain in the Pacific NorthWest.

The laundramat on the opposite corner was almost as inviting with its constant humming and warmth eminating from the dryers.

Sprinting Toward DunceHood (STD's)

2009-10-29T13:39:00.000-07:00

Sprinting Toward Dunce Hood

If I ever have to talk to Sprint Customer Service again in my life please put me out of my misery. I happen to be the worst phone person on the planet , (actually probably many planets)
and Sprint happens to have the worst customer Service that I have ever experienced.

So i cancelled their piece of crap phones basically because of their inane customer service.
So I am here with a phone bill with a phone number that has not been used in 2 years.

One would think that is a slam dunk as I try to cancel an account.

But of course I did what any sensible person would do, I destroyed all the pins to an account that I do not have.

And of course for all 7 people I had to talk to I needed the stupid god damn pin.
It used to be in my wallet on a blue piece of paper but it is not anymore.

I talked to Lesley and she was lost and she transferred me to some lady who would only give me her employee number.

Then Sandra wanted my pin and eventually Nicky got into my account just asking for the account number. She said she reversed what was left of the bill and promptly transferred me to

Otis F***en Thorpe Employee Number WQ895955 an Account Manager in Account Services.

I asked Nicki if the big O (Otis) needed my PIN and Nicki assured me she did not.

Me - Hi Otis I would like to cancel my account.

The Big O- May I have your PIN please.?

(Calculation on Probability on Arnie's words being random.)
So
Back 'o the envelope calculation: assuming every gubernatorial communication had seven lines, separated into a group of 4 and 3, the probability that it would spell the phrase shown is 5.519648 x 10^-12. Very Large
Since most communications are not in this format, this is probably an over estimate. In short, it is not a chance event.

So my response to Sprint

F irst your service is bad
U nless you hate
C ustomers
K nowing that

Y our phones suck
O ut loud and your company is
U seless.

A Love Letter to my Appliances

2009-10-23T16:08:00.000-07:00

To the Dearly Departed

Oh washing machine you old leaky bastard. We are breaking up with you.

You are no longer the pristine clean machine I once knew.

You are now a dirty old man that soils the sheets.

But we had good years together through thick and thin.

You cleaned our running shoes and

sparkling white linens.

You were always faithful and a little bit gay.

But we are moving on.

And Mr Refrigerator

You have become a frigid bastard and

you are now icy down below.

The best you do now is hold up magnets

that hold up pictures of pleasant days

gone by.

When you were young you were a shiny

bastion of hope holding micro brews and

pickles a plenty.

Good bye frigid bastard.

And Garbage Disposal

You capricious wanker. You sit silent. idle

not churning anything. The switch on the

wall just sits there all broken waiting to

be fixed.

Electricity my old friend.

I have come to talk to you again.

and the F***en Toilet

I have always hated you

every single one of you.

Spilling water, making gurgling noise

and notflushing when

flushing is what you do.

Screw you toilet.

You will not be missed.

Saving Ryan's Privates

2009-10-19T14:03:00.000-07:00

News Release from Washington County Sheriff's Department:
Saving Private Ryan
On Saturday, October 18, 2009, at 10:54 p.m., Washington County Sheriff's Deputies arrested 26-year-old Billy Gean Ryan for multiple crimes stemming from two attempted car jackings and several burglaries. The 911 calls started at 7:49 p.m. when a woman called from her cell phone to report that a man tried to take her car. She reported that as he told her to get out of the car, he reached into his shirt like he had a gun. The woman rolled up the window and drove away from the suspect. Deputies arrived and set up a perimeter while a K9 unit searched for the suspect.
---The woman did not realize guns can shoot out windows and of course Loser Boy tried to fire that thing inside his shirt…
At 8:06 p.m. a resident in the 700 block of SW Blackcourt Place, called 911 and reported that a man had just entered their house and threatened to shoot them if they didn't give him their car keys. The caller said the man, later identified as 26-year-old Billy Gean Ryan, had come into their house while smoking a cigarette and asked about the car in the driveway. He then threatened to shoot them while reaching toward his armpit as if he had a gun. The resident told the Mr. Ryan to leave and he did.
--And he did that, he just left still smoking a cigarette.
Just after Mr. Ryan left the house, he threatened to shoot another man on the street. Mr. Ryan told the man he would shoot him if he did not give Mr. Ryan his car keys. The man refused and Mr. Ryan walked down the street.
--Persistence persistence persistence with no plan in mind
At 8:10 p.m. another 911 call was placed reporting that Mr. Ryan had entered an apartment at 674 SW 201st Avenue. The man in the apartment reported that Mr. Ryan came in and told him that he was being chased. Mr. Ryan offered the man $5,000 for his car. The man refused and told Mr. Ryan to leave which he did.
---where he got the money is beyond me and it must have been a hell of a car.
At 8:17 p.m. a man walked out of his house located in the 800 bock of SW 198th Avenue. He saw Mr. Ryan standing next to his car holding a Gatorade and a cell phone. The man saw that his car door was open and he realized that Mr. Ryan had taken the Gatorade and cell phone out of his car. The man asked Mr. Ryan what he was doing. Ryan asked the man if he had "seen the man the police were looking for?" Ryan then gave him the cell phone, took a drink of the Gatorade, and took off running.
--I can see how he needed the Gatorade and wow he took up running.
At 9:11 p.m. a woman called 911 from the 19000 block of SW Ashcroft Lane and reported that she found Mr. Ryan in her car parked in her garage. She said he told her he had fallen asleep in the car. The woman went into the house and locked the door. Mr. Ryan opened the garage door and left the residence.
Persistence persistence persistence with no exit strategy in mind
Numerous deputies were combing the neighborhood for Mr. Ryan. Just after the information was broadcast from the previous 911 call, a deputy spotted Mr. Ryan in the area of SW 198th Avenue and SW Brookfield Street. Mr. Ryan ran from the deputy but was quickly apprehended after a brief foot chase.
After Mr. Ryan was positively identified by several victims, he was arrested on the following charges.
· Robbery II (four counts)
. Dumb fu*kery
· Menacing (four counts)
· Burglary I (two counts)
· Unauthorized Entry to a Motor Vehicle (two counts)
· Criminal Trespass I
Mr. Ryan is being held in the Washington County on a $250,000 bail. If you have any information about this series of crimes please call the Washington County Sheriff's Office at 503-846-2700.

18 things to teach your sons about women

2009-09-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

We hope to rid the male sex of all the things that make us rant by raising boys with balanced male and female perspectives. Here are the 19 things we'll teach them.

1. Pick your battles. (Argue what you know not what you do not know..The Toilet Seat is not a battle)

2. Walk on the outside (closer to the street) of your female companion. (Or she will push you into traffic if you do not follow number 1.)
3. Saying "You're being crazy" is never an appropriate response, unless you want her to go postal on you. The Frisky: How to keep the crazy at bay ("Is it me who is crazy" is also not appropriate)
4. Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids are things men can actually do as well as women. (Do not let them know that or you will be doing it)
5. Keep backup supplies of quality chocolate in the house for her to raid. (That includes beer)
Don't Miss
The Frisky: 5 things I'd do differently in single life
The Frisky: What future father will teach his son about women
The Frisky: 5 things I'd do differently if I re-lived my single life
6. Buying tampons and other feminine products shouldn't embarrass you --everyone knows they're not for you. (Actually relish these moments because she is crazy at this point)
7. Women like compliments and gifts. The Frisky: Is chivalry sexist? You are really good with a crockpot is not really either.
8. Earning less than her shouldn't be emasculating. The Frisky: Why marrying for money isn't a totally bad idea
9. Be on time, even if she usually isn't. (And if she is always on time she may not be a girl -check first)
10. Don't be a pouty puppy when shopping with her. (Actually pouty is never good. By all means if you can just avoid shopping altogther. In other words stick with what you know.)
11. Find out what her favorite flower is. The Frisky: 5 easy chivalrous moves to get the girl
12. If you like her, then don't buy her shoes; it's bad luck. (Actually, snow shoes will do the trick)
13. Smiling and nodding aren't the same as listening. (My son was doing this as I read this list to him)
14. It's OK to cry in front of her, but keep the blubbering to a minimum. (Actually never use the word blubber in her company)
15. Personality goes a long way. (And lack of the ability to laugh ones self is deal killer)
16. At some point she'll be more important than your mother. (And guess what you are grounded)
17. You will never completely understand women. (Son master calculus or compete in the tour d.France. Its easier)
18. Oh yeah, and no woman will ever be good enough for my baby

19. Understand this now. Just put the toilet seat down or somebody is going to drown.

Train Freaking Wrecks

2009-08-25T13:46:00.000-07:00

Microsoft erases black man from web photo. Clever, lazy trainwreck at Microsoft.
The original photo featured three business people – one white, one black and one Asian – smiling as they attended a meeting. It was published on Microsoft's main US site, to advertise the company's business productivity software.
But in the version doctored to appeal to Polish customers the black man's face was replaced with that of a white man – although the original model's hand remained clearly visible.

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You know you are a train wreck when you miss a day of work and end up in jail. Dont Click Here

A company named Biel the "most dangerous celebrity in cyberspace." One in five Internet searches for terms related to "Jessica Biel" leads to a Web page, photo, video or piece of spam that contains a cyber-security threat, the report said.
Those who follow her are a trainwreck.

George Bush sings REM's Its the end of the World as We Know and I feel Fine. Speaking of TrainWrecks

Lucy Goes Drinking

2009-08-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

Update -September 15 2009. So we are all running out the door this morning and apparently Max missed something on the way out. That is shutting the door. That's not going to end well.

Details Shmetails. So the phone rings as I get to work and Lucy is on the loose and of course it is Jenna's first day of teaching.

20 minutes later the phone rings again. Lucy has been found. She is at LaurleWood Brew Pub. Apparently some lady is walking here home

Moon and Sixpence

So a dog walks into a bar and the bar tender says “Why the long tail?”

Yes while I was out riding bikes yesterday Lucy the Beagle apparently decided to take her self out for a walk.
The Vet called (their phone number is on her collar) and says that Lucy has been spotted at the Moon and Something. My wife quickly figures that out, and she has made it to the Bar Down the street. I have no idea how she made it in the front door. The dog that is not my wife. She is not 21.

The leash in my wife’s hand probably clued the patrons as to her mission of the day. Apparently Lucy had stepped out for a beer.

Lesson learned here.

NONE.

Freak Show Countinued

2009-08-12T09:57:00.000-07:00

Underwear bandit suspect arrested

SALEM, Ore. - A Marion County man is charged with numerous counts of theft and burglary. He is accused of stealing women’s underwear, and he was caught wearing it.Randall Giesbers of Salem was arrested at his neighbor’s home Monday night wearing nothing but his female neighbor’s panties. The woman’s boyfriend caught him, wrestled him to the ground and held him until police arrived.In Giesber’s garage, Marion County deputies discovered several large garbage bags full of women’s underwear, leading them to believe there are more victims.Deputies say Giesbers has no previous criminal history.

1. I imagine the boyfriend beat the intruder off.. This story says freak show before you even read the first word.

Deputies charged 47-year-old Randall Joseph Giesbers with burglary, theft, criminal trespass and possession of illegal fireworks. (What the fu** was he going to do with fireworks)

“There were some scrapes, bruises, and bumps as he was trying to detain him until we got there,” said Lieutenant Sheila Lorance of the Marion County Sheriff’s Office.
“It’s creepy. It’s just a creepy thing,” added Lorance.

Authorities later located large garbage bags full of women's clothing, underwear, shoes and accessories in the suspect's garage in the same neighborhood.

“I see him all the time, very nice man,” said neighbor Lee Mathieson. (Now you see him in a different light)

You Don't Send Me Flowers AnyMore

2009-08-10T11:30:00.000-07:00

My wife recieved some flowers this weekend. It was a beautiful simple batch of flowers. They were so un expected that I literally tripped over them when I walked out on the porch.

Jenna was so happy and she anxiously read the note that came with it. The note said some thing like.

Congratulations on a job well done.

Dad.

Jenna called her Dad that day

And her Dad was somewhat dumbfounded as he did not send her flowers.

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter c would be dropped to be replased either by k or s, and likewise x would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which c would be retained would be the ch formation, which will be dealt with later.

Year 2 might reform w spelling, so that which and one would take the same konsonant, wile

Year 3 might well abolish y replasing it with i and

Year 4 might fiks the g/j anomali wonse and for all.Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez c, y and x -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais ch, sh, and th rispektivli.Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

Timbers vs Vancouver

2009-08-07T12:49:00.000-07:00

Final Score Timbers 1- WhiteCaps 0

Very enjoyable night on the pitch. We arrived late to the game after a great after noon of watching Miss Planet Clare and her brother Hugh. We were the last ones in to the parking spot and the Minivan barely fit in. The walk up lines for the game were tremendous.

I love the Canadian National Anthem and of course the girl who sang the American version sang way too slow for the Timbers Army. The night was a bit steamy and the regulars arrived late and were in true form. Even Val and Blondie. We even had newly found Famous writer Sean and his lovely daughter. A perfect night at the Piggy. We brought a great friend to her first game in years and she seemed to enjoy the footy and even the beers.

To be quite honest the Canadian boys carried the first 20 minutes and it felt like the Whitecaps would break through. Number 9 Marlon James was an absolute menace and it seemed Cameron Knowles could not handle him. In the 30th minute Ryan Pore scored on a breakaway which could have been an own goal but he tallied anyway.

Nishimura almost chipped one in the 33rd minutes and Suzuki almost blasted one in in the 39th minute. Nishimura looked great today. Not sure why Scot with one T was not playing.

Cronin played fantastic all night long. The White Caps never really threatened except a few balls that went high or wide. In the 79th minute he scrambles and stopped the best shot of the night by the Whitecaps.

As always we loved the game and of course the result.

Here's the rest of the schedule

8/8CHARLESTON 7 p.m.
8/12@ Montreal 4:45 p.m.
8/15@ Rochester4:30 p.m.
8/22MIAMI 7:15 p.m.
8/28@ Charleston (FSC)
5 p.m. 9/3ROCHESTER
7 p.m.9/7@ Austin
4 p.m. 9/11 AUSTIN7 p.m.
9/13 CLEVELAND5 p.m.
9/17CLEVELAND7:15

Charleston is going to be interesting as are the Rhinos and Montreal on the road. After that we have a pretty cake schedule. I'll let the soccer stuff to the soccer people. I love the game but love the sights and smells of the game.

Max and Sean's daughter having a ball doing magic trips, Timbers Army songs and even our own songs. The smells of the BBQ and the stink bombs and the clouds hanging over the cascades as we looked to the scoreboard that read. TIMBERS 1- Vancouver 0.

We have a guess the attendance contest every night and my original guess was 10780 which I adjusted upward later. 10783 loud and crazy tonight. Even the west end was up and in their face. And of course the post game where we acknowledge the lads and they do the same thing to us. PGE park is a fun place to be on game night.

A Quick Glance back to 1984 Numbers

2009-08-06T13:51:00.000-07:00

HARPER:S INDEX (This was taken from 1984) Observations
Percentage of American teachers who say that if they could start over, they would not teach : 24

Percentage who said this in 1965 : 7. 1 (Something tells me this number has changed recently in the other direction)
Percentage increase, from the mid-1970s to today, in the number of resumes received each year by the CIA: 100 (This was during Reagan - Bet you it is on the down slope)
Number of states in which some part of the B-1 bomber is manufactured : 44 (Enough said)
Estimated percentage of all U. S. defense contracts that are awarded through fully competitive bidding : 5 (Haliburton et all bet you that has not changed)
Estimated number of defense-industry jobs that would be lost in the event of a nuclear freeze : 250,000 (Yeah defense industry jobs never leave)
Percentage of Americans who, in 1981, thought their chances of surviving a nuclear war were
Percentage of Soviet children who believe nuclear war can be prevented : 92 (They may have been right)
Percentage of American children who believe this: 65 (They may have been wrong)
Rank, among children's most common fears, of being home alone : 1 (well worth exploring)
Of getting up in front of their class: 2
Percentage of all playground injuries that occur on the monkey Bars: 55 (They have virtually dissapeared)
Number of bird species that have been sighted in Central Park since its opening in 1858 : 259
Bald eagle population of the continental United States in 1979 : 9,815
In 1982 : 13,825 (In the early 1980s, the estimated total population was 100,000 birds, with 110,000–115,000 by 1992;[2] the U.S. state with the largest resident population is Alaska, with about 40,000–50,000 birds, with the next highest population being the Canadian province of British Columbia with 20,000–30,000 birds in 1992.[2])
Percentage of all life forms known to have ever existed that still exist today: 10
Number of robots FAO Schwarz expects to sell this Christmas season: 10,000 Not a real big seller any more
Average amount stolen by pickpockets, per incident: $218
Byshoplifters : $72
Total number of recordings of "White Christmas" that have been sold : 150,431,669 (I tunes has helped a re emergence)
Chance of a white Christmas in New York: 23% Now 10 percent
In Minneapolis: 73% (Probably less)
Percentage of Americans who often feel they did something exactly right : 55 (I understand with the divirce rates what they are, This number is wrong)
Who often sing, hum, or whistle : 48
Percentage of Americans who believe their presence at a sports event influences its outcome 25
Percentage of libel cases in which juries rule against media defendants : 80
Percentage of those verdicts that are reversed on appeal : 60
Percentage of college men who say they might commit rape if there were no chance of being caught: 35
Number of American men who have surgery each year solely to improve their personal appearance: 500,000 (Gee whiz I wonder WTF happened to this number)
Average year-end bonus in 1983 for corporate chief executive officers: $98,424
Combined net worth of the 400 richest Americans: $125,000,000,000
Combined value of all the currency and coin in circulation in the U.S. : $175,000,000,000
Amount spent by the U.S. government on advertising in 1983 : $228,857,200
Amount spent by Coca-Cola: $282,150,000
Percentage of U. S. car owners who keep maps in their glove compartments : 50 (We now have Navigation)
Sunglasses : 23
Gloves: 0

Random Stupid Surveys

2009-08-05T12:21:00.000-07:00

A new study shows it costs about $221,000 ($292,000 when adjusted for inflation) to raise a child. Does cost impact your decisions, when it comes to growing your family?

Well listening to the Song "I Wish I had a Million Dollars" made me think I'll take 4. I just saws this note here.

ST. LOUIS -It's no secret that raising children can be expensive, but how about nearly a quarter of a million dollars expensive?
A government report released Tuesday says a middle-income family with a child born last year will spend about $221,000 raising that child through age 17.
The report by the USDA's Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion identified housing as the largest single expense, followed by food and child care/education costs. The $221,000 in expenses rises to about $292,000 when adjusted for inflation.
USDA economist Mark Lino, who co-authored the report with Andrea Carlson, often hears people say children cost a lot when the annual findings are issued.
"I tell them children also have many benefits, so you have to keep that in mind," he said.
Families with more income spend more money on child-related costs, the report said. A two-parent family that earns less than $57,000 annually will spend about $160,000 on a child from birth through high school. Those with an income between $57,000 and $99,000 spend about $221,000 and those with higher incomes are expected to spend roughly $367,000 through age 17.

Well I find these numbers way low.

Lets see Here are some neccessities for kids.

Soccer/VollyBall Camp

Summer Camps

I Pods and I Tunes

Health F***ing Care. (That's a Pandoras Can of Worms)

Food

Supplies/Bus Passes/Pepperidge Farm Fishies

Shampoo. (Estimated 500.00 per year over 20 years,,it adds up)

Skateboards and Bikes

Fines for stuff they break.

And a giant accrual for all the change that dissapears fron Various change drawers.

And the crazy assumption this survery makes. Til they reach the age of 17. Lets face it that are not signing with a major league team at that age.

They are.

Going to College

Driving a Car.

Eating alot more.

I guess I forgot about that yearly Tax deduction. And lets face it when kids are young they actually make you money because you can not go to a movie or hiking the Alps.

Still I think the figure stated above was for raising a dog.

SomeTimes Its Best To Not Plan AnyThing

2009-08-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

The best laid plans simply some times go un laid.

We had nothing planned for yesterday but sometimes that works out perfectly. We decided to head to Forest Park and go for a hike. A hike right now is a luxury item and I was a bit tepid with my expectations as I am just coming off a busted ankle.

My wife and I pulled into Germantown road and the day was hot and dusty but Forest Park can be pretty forgiving with a constant canopy of Northwest Shade. In the first few steps I had a sharp pain in my ankle but I soon became adept at walking. We enjoyed looking at the trees and the patterns of the moss on the trees. After about a mile my foot started feeling pretty decent. We even progressed to a point where I actually ran the last mile; it was probably a 10 minute mile and my wife finished in front of me, but it may have been one of my favourites miles I had ever run. Its nice to get my feet in motion once again.

We then just headed up to the Skyline Tavern. I had never been there during the day and I was quite surprised. my wife and I shared a picture of beer and played a little horse shoes. The bar tender was nice enough to give me a large bag of ice to ice the foot. There is something to be said for a post run glow sharing a beer with your wife. A simple day, but wonderfully simple in a complicated world.

While sitting in the bar we got a frantic text from two friends that they were in need of some company to have a beer or two. We headed to the County Cork with a stolen hour to kill. I had not been to the Cork in awhile. It was great to see some old friends and have a Ploughman's platter. Another simple hour in a complicated world.

And you can not beat beats. The Ploughman's Platter has beets in some kind of beety, funky sauce and they are unbelievable. With a little salt. Another indescribable simple pleasure.

This post is basically about doing nothing quite out of the Ordinary. Its about sitting back and watching the world go by with somebody whom is special in your life.

Stone Man Willie

2009-07-31T16:39:00.000-07:00

When i was a kid my Dad, and maybe my Mom and I am sure Doc (my grandmom's boyfriend who drove a Corvair) always alluded to some guy named Stone Man Willie. He as rumored to be in the bottom of the Court House in the middle of Reading Pennsylvania.

The Expanding past: As stories sink into the past they simply get bigger and bigger.

Well when we were kids we were told a story about some guy who turned to Stone when the embalming process took a drastically wrong turn. This guy was rumored to be made of stone and he was housed somewhere in Reading Pennsylvania.

Well I was always a little intrigued and to be quite honest a little bit afraid to actually view this monster that no way in this world was going to ever exist. Also as I got older I realized my Dad told crazy stories that had very little truth to them and my Mom somehow believed them and passed them on to us.

Amongst other great big lies where.

If you can see the back of the leaves it is going rain. (My Mom)

Cows stand up when it is going to rain. (Grandfather Hoover)

Apples give you Carly Marbles. (GrandMother Hoover)

Swimming Lions will bite you when you go over a bridge. (I made that up and Zach passed it on)

Well I lived my entire life thinking Stone Man Willy was a fabrication of Dad's.

Well I hijacked this story from the internets...

STONE (MAN) WILLIE
Stone (Man) Willie
In the year of 1895, a body of a man was taken to the Auman Funeral Home in Reading, Pa. He died in the old prison that stood in Penn's Common which is now our City Park.
Theodore C. Auman was intrigued with the possibilities of preserving the dead, other than placing them on a block of ice. He had found in an old German medical book a chemical formula for preserving meat. Until now, he had no means of experimenting. He seeked permission from state and local authorities to use the unclaimed body. In his first attempt, he used too much formula and the body became mummified.
The identify of Stone (Man) Willie has to this day remained anonymous. He was thought to be Michael Phohonski, a man who hanged himself in the same prison. Pietro Buccieri, a man who killed a nurse at St. Joseph Hospital in 1892. James Murphy from Wilkes-Barre, James Maypenny from Philadelphia, plus many more.
When he was arrested Oct. 7, in West Reading, Pa, for burglarizing the Morris Brown Boardinghouse. He gave the name James Penn, admitting it wasn't his real name. To this day, no one knows where the name Stone (Man) Willie came from.
The only time I saw Stone (Man) Willie was in 1972. He was in a lower part of the funeral home. He laid on a cot. There had been many myths about the dead man which were dispelled. His hair and fingernails do not grow. The body shrinks every year making the hair and nails longer. He was a white man , 37 years of age, 5' 10" and weighted 127 pounds. The formula that was injected into him has made his skin tone darker. We were told that every few years they give him a new pair of pajamas to ware.
Around 1994, the Auman Family sold the business to Service Corporation International, the largest funeral and cemetery company in the world. Theodore C. Auman III remains as president and manager. It was rumored, Stone (Man) Willie would be buried. Last week a call was made to Auman's and they said Willie was indeed still there but he is no longer available to be viewed.

As they say in Berks County.

It don't matter.

Here are some classic berks County Quotes about the Stone Man

Here is another cool story about Berks oddities.

I Read I Remember I Forget

2009-07-30T09:25:00.000-07:00

“The Other” is a novel about a Kurt who goes off the rails and ends up living as a hermit in a remote forest in Washington State. The author is David Guterson, of “Snow Falling on Cedars” fame. The recluse is John William Barry, sole heir to a banking and timber fortune. John William, as his friends call him, is as old-school Seattle as it gets. His great-great-grandfather was a member of the Denny Party, whose members founded the city in 1851. In the Northwest, this is akin to Mayflower lineage. John William is a smart, troubled rich kid who loathes phonies and sellouts, beginning with his own “weaseling, demonic forefathers.” He’s the kind of guy who drops acid and chants, “No escape from the unhappiness machine.”

Well I was sitting and reading the back credits after finishing this book and I can honestly say I loved "Our Lady of The Forest" but I have very little recollection of it. So I took some notes on "The Other".

There are certain scenes from this book that stick in my head especially one of the opening scenes where JW and the author (Countryman) battle for 5th pace in a high school track meet. Its funny how friendships start and friendships endure.

Its a juxtaposition between building a life and building a cave and just plain hiding in it. Its also a nice little reflection how Seattle used to be before Microsoft and Starbucks, but more importantly it is a homage to male friendship. In this busy world it is a rarity that relationships endure years and obstacle, but somehow it works here.

"The Other" hints at portraying JW as a hero but I kind of view his as a completely wasted life, and more specifically a more wasted life lived by JW's father. He had a lot of money and a lot of luck but very little skills as a parent and a mentor. like the German population under Hitler, he just let it happen as a passive participant.

Snow Falling on Cedars was fantastic. I also believe that book was the right book at the right time but. "The Other" probably is a better book. There is plenty to glean from it it and some imagery I may never forget.

I need to get my brothers opinion.

107 Degrees of Supination

2009-07-29T09:27:00.000-07:00

Okay I get it. It is hot. We have a family tradition of punching somebody in the arm when they state the obvious. I have heard the statement "boy it is hot" so many times. I do not even hear it any more. I only punch family.

Today it is going to be 108. How does 108 differ from 105. In my opinion it doesn't. Your just one more day sick of it. I did get out for a bike ride today and you know what, it is no big deal. It's kind of like riding a horse in the old west. it is dusty and you are thirsty.

According the New York Times "Media and Advertising: This is Coors approach to advertising.

The campaign is meant to tease beer drinkers, piquing their curiosity until the introduction on May 15 of what Coors Light is calling cold-activated cans: The mountains on the cans’ labels turn from white to blue when the beer is the right (cold) temperature for drinking. The cans are a companion to the cold-activated Coors Light bottles introduced in 2007.

The imbiber needs insurance that their beer is actually cold. I can not believe that Coors is actually fawning to the idiot that lie with in us all. I will make no opinions or judgements. I just simply refuse to drink that stuff.

Now I need somebody to tell me when it is actually hot. I have a Bangles song stuck in my head. That should tell me it is hot.

Close your eyes and give me your hand

Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?

Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming

Or is this burning an eternal flame?

I think my brain caught on fire.

Blind as Hell Faith

2009-07-24T16:10:00.000-07:00

OREGON CITY, Ore. -- A Clackamas County jury on Thursday found Carl and Raylene Worthington not guilty of manslaughter in the death of their toddler daughter.

Carl Worthington was found guilty of criminal mistreatment, a misdemeanor carrying a maximum sentence of a year in jail. Sentencing was set for July 31. Raylene Worthington was found not guilty of that charge.

The Worthingtons, who believe in faith healing, were charged in the death of their 15-month-old daughter Ava, who died on a Sunday evening in March 2008.
The jury's verdict was read in the Clackamas County Courthouse in Oregon City Thursday afternoon, seven days after the jury began deliberation.

-------------------

Okay enough said. I do not believe this couple killed their child and I am a bit mixed if the the punishment actually fits the crime.

But think for a minute;

What would have this ruling been if the Religion in question was of Islam, Buddhism or Hinduism. I believe the ruling would have been drastically different. I literally believe this jury in Suburban middle America would have thrown the book at them but since this is a case involving Christian based religion the sentence came out accordingly.

We have schools that teach abstinence and feel it is the best way to not get pregnant. We have schools that teach that evolution is a myth. As long as it is based on a Christian religion its okay to do so. Same thing for this bizarre case.

If we march a man into War and he is killed there is no crime committed. I guess the same can my concluded in this case here. The jury is still out on that. Actually on second thought, The jury has ruled. And in my opinion. They did not get it right? And I have faith in that.

Jurors saw the Worthingtons as loving, caring parents, said 25-year-old juror.

I see them as negligant, and out of touch. With a life time of regret they must live with. and if they can live with themselves. I still have a problem with it.

If another non Christian faith came along and said, "The after life is so much more beautiful" ; we did the best we can. This would have been an even quicker trial with a different out come.

Life Shaking Music We are Going Nightswimming

2009-07-19T01:39:00.000-07:00

We all have memories to songs that can not be explained. But when we can explain them it makes a bit of sense. But there is also a lot that goes unexplained.

I am a huge R.E.M. fan and I would always buy their music the day it came out. I still remember the day I was introduced to R.E.M. I was in grad school at William and Mary and quirky bird named Amy deposited in my pocket a cassette tape of both the Murmurs" and "Reckoning" cds. It was like a drug deal . But I loved that music more than anything. In retrospective that little cd influenced my musical taste from that day forward.

Somewhere along the line the CD "Automatic for the People" came out. It was a stretch of my life where I was busy raising kids and I bought the cd the day it came out as usual but I never really had a chance to listen to it. Really listen to it.

Somewhere along the line the song sunk in. I have no idea where. Seriously I listened to that CD occasionally over the years and I liked it but no particular track stuck out.

Then I saw it played live. Mike Mills on the piano and Stipe on vocals. it was at a half filled Clark County amphitheater. Wilco opened that night. WTF. But that performance literally brought me to tears. It was one of the most beautiful songs I have ever seen done in concert. I had tears running down my cheecks.

My fiance and I were deciding what song to dance to at our wedding. I suggested Nightswimming. I do not believe that Jenna had ever heard the song before. It had no particular meaning to our relationship. But its the prettiest song on the planet.

So an a picture perfect spring day the opening piano bars to NightSwimming once again brought tears to my eyes. It may have been the 5 of the happiest minutes in my life dancing to Nightswimming with my new wife.

Nightswimming, remembering that night.
September's coming soon.
I'm pining for the moon.
And what if there were two
Side by side in orbit
Around the fairest sun?
That bright, tight forever drum
Could not describe nightswimming.

Hobble Before Walk Before You Run

2009-07-18T15:07:00.000-07:00

Yes almost three weeks ago I was running in the middle of the road and broke my ankle. I made the cursory trip to the emergency room where I was told I had a busted ankle. That is not great news for somebody who loves to be active. And a pet beagle (Ghosty Pig) who has no idea what a cast entails.

To be quite honest I have had a bit of a depression as I could not do anything. The chores around the house were impossible and getting to work was a recipe for disaster. I have my loving wife to thank for getting me through a very tough time. She has been amazing and has picked up the slack and has not let my sense of self esteem slip all that much.

The orders from the doctors have been non existent. I get mixed signals on what I am supposed to do. So basically I have been listening to my body. Well for the most part. A walking cast is just for that ; walking. I don't see lugging around an extra five pound contraption while manning my crutches.

I really abhor the attention a cast somehow casts upon you. Everybody wants to talk about it and I simply do not. I simply want to hobble, then walk then run again.

My wife is away this weekend and I am somewhat bored and some what limited. Not a real good combination. I good time to push it just a little.

Today I took my first steps. The heat of summer was just, that but it was nice to stroll the six block in my nieghbor hood in my 10 dollar fake Vans my son bought me. Taking those first steps toward recovery.

And my Beagle is also happy.

Lies Lays Bad Lies and Bad Lays

2009-07-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

LONDON (AP)—Richard Gasquet escaped a lengthy doping ban Wednesday when the International Tennis Federation ruled that he inadvertently took cocaine.
The 23-year-old Frenchman, who was cleared to resume playing after completing a 2 1/2 -month ban Wednesday, convinced an independent anti-doping tribunal that he ingested cocaine by kissing a woman he met at a nightclub in Miami.
The tribunal panel of three lawyers said Gasquet consumed no more than “a grain of salt” of the drug, and a long ban would be an injustice in a case which was “unusual to the point of being probably unique.”
“We have found the player to be a person who is shy and reserved, honest and truthful, and a man of integrity and good character,” the tribunal said in its ruling.

Okay I buy that.

And Barry Bonds got his steroid reading from taking practice swings with the ball girl.

Of course Floyd Landis got that crazy high tetasterone reading from his bike seat.

When Harry Met Linda

(UPI) - Linda the penguin has split up two male penguins who lived as a nesting couple for six years at the San Francisco Zoo, caretakers said.
Male penguins Harry and Pepper had been so content together they were allowed to incubate and hatch an egg laid by another Magellanic penguin last year, zookeeper Anthony Brown said.
"Of all of the parents that year, they were the best. They took very good care of their chick," Brown told the San Francisco Examiner in a story published Saturday.
Enter the widow Linda, who began courting Harry in her partner's old burrow shortly after his death this past winter, Brown said.
"To be completely anthropomorphizing, Linda seems conniving," Brown said. "She's got her plan. I don't think she was wanting to be a single girl for too long."

This is fairly predictable. And no she does not have a plan. Never did, never will, just the basic vision of creating drama. Woman are just that Drama Queens. And of course the zoo is in San Fransisco.

It captivated millions of people around the world for eight days in the summer of 1969. It brought glory to the embattled U.S. space program and inspired beliefs that anything was possible.

Moon landing hoax theorists point to the "rippling" flag as evidence the landings were faked.

It's arguably the greatest technological feat of the 20th century.
And to some, it was all a lie.
Forty years after Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin set foot on the moon, a small cult of conspiracy theorists maintains the historic event -- and the five subsequent Apollo moon landings -- were staged. These people believe NASA fabricated the landings to trump their Soviet rivals and fulfill President Kennedy's goal of ferrying humans safely to and from the moon by the end of the 1960s.
"I do know the moon landings were faked," said crusading filmmaker Bart Sibrel, whose aggressive interview tactics once provoked Aldrin to punch him in the face. "I'd bet my life on it."
Sibrel may seem crazy, but he has company. A 1999 Gallup poll found that a scant 6 percent of Americans doubted the Apollo 11 moon landing happened, and there is anecdotal evidence that the ranks of such conspiracy theorists, fueled by innuendo-filled documentaries and the Internet, are growing.

This has to be one of the crazier assumptions I have seen in my life. Some of these people take on faith literally the exact interpretation of the Bible and believe it actually happened verbatim but they have a hard time believing that man actually landed on the moon.

Death with Indignity

2009-07-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

Death with Indignity

Fautenberry was transferred Monday from the Ohio State Penitentiary in Youngstown to the Southern Ohio Correctional Facility in Lucasville, where state officials were preparing for his execution.

His special meal request was two eggs sunny-side up, fried potatoes, two pieces of fried bologna, four pieces of wheat bread, two pieces of wheat toast with butter, four slices of tomato, a side of lettuce and mayonnaise, two Three Musketeers candy bars and two packages of Reese's peanut butter cups.

I am not sure what my last meal would be in this case, but I hope that I never end up in the predictament.

But I like the choice of Sunny Side up Eggs. I am a great cook but do not do well with sunny side eggs. So it would be nice to have somebody to prepare them. But eggs always make my stomach ache, but I guess when you are going to be killed anyway, a stomach ache does not matter. But I guess you could die of a heart attack to dampen the spirits of a the pro death penalty crowd.

Fried Bologna -now thats unusual. Haven't had it since I was a kid. Another Excellent choice.

I am really surprised that the makers of these Candy products have not cashed in here. There's a huge market here as with somebodies dying wish they want a

Broken Bones

2009-07-10T15:24:00.000-07:00

Dumb assed me was running in a cul-d-sac and twisted my ankle and Voila instantly I knew it was broken. Which led me to the Providence Emergency Room which has its cast of Castaways and Misfits.

We're lining up the light-loafere'd
And the bored bench warmers
Castaways and cutouts, fill it up
Come join the youth and beauty brigade
Nothing will stand in our way

Some of the people I saw there on a busy Monday Night where.

BEE Boy - A young boy of overly protective parents. He needlessly sat in the ER for a bee sting. His parents came up to me and asked me and presented me with a bag with a bee in it.

"What Kind of Bee is this?"

Me "Don't Know - A Honey Bee"

Bee Boys Parents - He captured the bee that stung him.

Me - Nice Going Bee Boy.

Bee Boy - Just stared at me.

Me (to parents) make a run for it Bee Boy is fine. Save yourself the money and get out of this place.

Bee Boy Parents - We Just may. (And they did).

Oxegen Lady - she wheeled her self around the ER yelling for Oxegen. She asked me if the bathroom was clear and I told her yes. Apparently 2 wheel chairs do no work in the ER facilities. Oxegen Lady got stuck in the bathroom yell predictiably. "I want my Oxegen".

Throw Up Man- He did just that, almost threw up right on the Bee Boy.

Man with A Hammer in His Head - I have no idea what was with this dude.

Well after 3 hours it was determined that I have a fractured foot.
I now wear a boot, and hobble. For awhile.

Bikram Yoga Revisited

2009-06-26T09:33:00.000-07:00

The other day i went to a tragically Hip Concert and it was 102 degrees. And my back hurt and has for awhile. Which brought me to the conclusion that i need to get back to Bikram Yoga.

Practicing Bikram's Yoga will increase your chances of having better health and more fun on your adventures in life!!!
In my mind I hated the 90 monutes while I took Biram yoga.
In my mind I loved the 22..5 hours of the day surrounding Bikram.

I had a bit of trepidation about going back. It had to be on my own terms.

The reality of Bikram Yoga
Class is not so bad.

The teachers so far are very supportive.

Meaning : So far it has only been male teachers who work with me and know my limitations. Lets see what happens when we get the crazy 95 pound pretxel as a teacher.

It takes too much Organization

So far it has been pretty easy. my wife has been very supportive. (She had a bad experience with a previous Yoga class)

Meaning: Lets see what happens when i have top juggle kids, school and everything else.

My hamstrings are tighter than a hummingbird on caffeine.

On the bright side they seem to be loosening up.
But, that pose where you grab your ankles and touch your fore head to your knees does not work for me. Yoga will be a semi success when I can actually do this pose.

I love the feeling right after class

Yes the air is sweeter, the breeze is comforting and water melon is wonderful
But, yesterday I got home and I felt like somebody had shoveled my brain empty with an ice cream scoop.

Its okay not to be good.

I try my best but I am simply not good. So far that is okay as try my best.
Well, I barely survived the last 4 poses yesterday.
But I continue on.

Tragically Hip Do Bikram Yoga

2009-06-17T13:54:00.000-07:00

The Tragically Hip played the Wonder Ballroom in Portland, Oregon on Tuesday Night. I have been to quite a few Hips shows and this one truly will go down as memorable.

I called the box office the morning of the show and they indicated it was a complete Hip Show, The Hip was to play from 8 until 9, take an intermission and play until 10:30.

Promptly at 8:00 Gordon Downie took the stage and rolled into a very loud opening set. The words were quite clear to those who were familiar to the Hip. To those who were not the music was simply too loud.

The Bikram Yoga Effect

I have seen shows at the Wonder Ball room before and tonight the weather outside was not particularly hot but the place was steaming literally. I honestly felt like I was in the Bikram Studio up on Fremont. I literally had that pure liquid sweat going on and my cloths were drenched. The crowd was a mass of smarmy , earthy sweat and it honestly added to the night for most of us. My wife had to go home. And there were drunk people falling down left and right.

"It could have been the heat it could have been the wine".

The Set List (A drunken Twitter text is included later)

I could look it up but the first set was pretty decent. it seemed like the new songs were a little less warmly received but I personally love the new release. Old favourites in the first set included Poets and the sparkling brand new Morning Moon. But what I remember from the first set was how truly hot this night was. I ventured outside during the intermission and I remembered it was a cool late spring evening. The people out side said it would be warmer for the second set. I did not believe them, but they were right.

I ventured in for the second set an the oppressive heat just nailed me. But the energy level in the second set was cranked up a bit. They opened the second set with two acoustic tunes. I believe it was Music at Work.

Drunken Twitter Set List from the Internets (With interpretations)

-GrDepressions suite (The Depression Suite)

-Poets -(This Rocked)

Don't wake daddy!!!!!!!!!

I'm so happyyyyyyyy (sic) about this!!!!!!

-In view

-Gift shop. Ps I love gordy

-Last Recluse

-Springtime in portland, baby! I'm too drunk for this!!!!!

-Morning Moon

-ABACT (Ahead By A Century)

-Love is a first

I'm gonna burstOMG He threw me a hankyyyyyyyyyyyyy and then I met negphil and now I can't control myself eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ps

Intermission to cool off

Thompson girl

Coffee girl

Bobcaygeon

M@w (Music * Work)

grace tooh (Grace Too)

Frozen

Blow @ high dough. --Sorry canucks , not in order. Blackberry sucks.........

StruggleHoly f**k its hot in here

I believe the twitterer passed out at this point.

At one point during the show three Drunk Canadians (a double redundancy) unfurled a Canadian Flag blocking the views of another 30 drunk Canadians. Gordie did the chivalrous thing and took the flag. it was an amazing night of music and we were all in this together. Because as the new album title says, "We are the Same". And we do get it some of you are Canadian. Sweat rags and water bottles were thrown into the crowd and at the beginning of the second set the ceiling pipes stated to drip. (Well leak is not a strong enough word) it was now not only 102 degrees in the room but it was raining.

Sorry I did not come close to having a set list. I was just taking it in and enjoying the evening. As weird as it could have been it was tragically good. Even if I not Canadian. Sometimes I wonder about the Wonder BallRoom.

The Blind Leading The Celibate

2009-06-16T14:20:00.000-07:00

CORAL GABLES, Fla. -- Former Catholic priest Alberto Cutié married his longtime girlfriend Tuesday following the scandal that preceded his leaving the Catholic Church.
According to the Miami-Dade County Clerk of Courts, Cutié and Ruhama Canellis picked up their marriage license Tuesday in Coral Gables and immediately exchanged vows in front of a judge.

A Readers comment

On a more whimsical note, perhaps he's planning on keeping his vow of celibacy after all. He's just pursuing it the way that most men do: marriage. In a few years, he'll be celibate again.

What really Happened

So they had sex. And you know what they say perfect practice makes perfect. And limpy Alberto was out of his league from years of not getting any. She hated the sex (if thats what you want to call it and called the whole thing off) and literally left him at the alter.

Just Nice Things About Great People

2009-06-15T23:45:00.001-07:00

A poem for now

To My Wife

asleep on the couch
all serene and twinkling
like a star in a busy constellation
standing out brilliantly
when she doesn't
want any thing
to notice

reflecting
sunlight rain drops
somehow making the
light of everyday life sparkle
pefectly
hitting the eye in multi layered
sparkle dust twinkle.

Random Places Your Mind Goes

2009-06-03T13:57:00.000-07:00

My mind like like everybody elses random goes where ever it wants to go to.
There are certain places it goes repeatedly and I have no idea reason why.
It just goes there. I just thought I would write them fdown and not force my
self to go there.

Buying Tickets to a WinterHawks Game

I always go back to sunny day in the spring where I drove to the Rose Garden
with the kids. I drove underneath the Rose Garden to get tickets (the ticket booth
is no longer located there). I have no recollection of the game it self and as I look back
it may have been tickets to a Portland Fire basketball game. I just remeber going
and getting tickets with the kids. It may have been a Thursday and I may have been happy.
The weather was clear.

And then another Friday afternoon

Where I was married and my wife had left for the weekend. I vaguely recall our
marriage was not working well but I remember a wonderfully calm Friday night.
I came home from work and mowed thelawn with a push mower.
The grass smelled nice and it was warm for the end of hockey season. I was completely
relaxed. The kids and I went to a hockey game that night. The neighbors gave us a ride
to the game and we took the Max home. It was unusually warm walking back from the Max.

Somewhat Pathetic Rant

2009-05-29T16:45:00.000-07:00

Gum and Being Bored

I just stole 4 pieces of gum from a co worker
They tasted good for 30 seconds
To keep awake I just dunked it in instant coffee.
Its not so bad.

Cells Phones Suck

I am 100 yards off I 5 and can not receive calls.
Texting is insane. (Pick up the dam phone)
I ran over the charger with my swivel chair.
The above gum may fix it.

May 31st

Should be labor day. Blew that load last week.
Moved to Oregon this same weekend 12 years ago.
It should not be 90 degees already.

These headlines today.

'This has been my dream,' spelling bee winner says.

She got a "Laodicean," reception from the crowd.

This means

a.) rousing b.) tepid c.) traditional indian gala d.) non at all

Second-place finisher Tim Ruiter of Reston, Virginia, bowed out after misspelling "Maecenas," meaning

a.) generous patron of the arts.

b.) phoresy

c. ) curt

d. ) Ned Beatty

Wedding Observations

2009-05-18T23:15:00.000-07:00

Behind the Scenes

2 hours before the wedding we made a meal with the trout we had caught on the previous day. It was the best trout I have ever had.

My little sister Jennifer ran 12 miles the morning of the wedding. After we scaled a large rocky knoll just to find the beginning of the trail.

It rained for almost 2 weeks straight up until the day before the wedding and then the rain just stopped.

I remember Layla (the beloved wedding czar) asking me who was going to read Haiku. My brain was too over whelmed to answer coherently so randomly I pointed pointed to the next person I saw. Wonder what Erin Faireborne thought.

Pastor Tim: (concluding the rehearsal) "Does anybody have any questions.
Everybody gets quiet and and starts mentally heading
to the Rehearsal dinner.
A little voice comes out of a little girl. Our beautiful little flower girl Olivia.
Olivia: Yes I have a question.
Pastor Tim: "Yes what is it?
Olivia: My brother Becket why is standing up. Why is he standing there.

IIWII- Down the Aisle

2009-04-25T23:05:00.000-07:00

Wow I proposed at a soccer game more than a year ago, which was one of the my greater days in life. All I wanted to do at that time is to be married to the girl I love. I forgot somewhere in that proposal was the promise that yes we would have a wedding. Its not a one day event rather a year long metaphor reminiscent of the build up to the Super Bowl. It Is What It Is. In the acronym filled corporate world we of course use acronyms and hence forth It Is What It Is will be referred to IIWII.

TO BE continued as I find free time.

I look forward to finding it.

Well it is 24 hours later and Jen got a ton of stuff done. She talked to the caterers and then to some others involved about the head count for the wedding. Of course that was ten minutes before I told her that there would be another other two year old at the wedding. Apparently I am clueless in this entire wedding process as to what is a Major issue and what is a Minor issue.

whacks oneself on the head.
writes not that i wont be able to read later.
attacks next little fire.

Another Action Item- Find out when my Dad's flight arrives (I check off the task probably before I should have)

Dad - "All I know is that I am on flight 0610 on United."
I quickly look it up online and tell him 5:45.
Dad -"You have to add or subtract 3 hours to that"
Me - No that's time zone specific.

That's all my brain could handle, but soon Jen suggests we move the time of the family get together dinner. It amazes me when somebody has a complete project type of mind. Which I do not. I consider myself lucky to be walking down the aisle with somebody like that. Its pretty amazing. But what lingers in my wedding planning future. I am not in the mood to make a project plan.

To the best of my recollection we did not move the time of the family get together dinner. Thats a story for another day where I will not have time to write. But I can see it now, dinner at the Corbett Fish House (a place I truly adore), where I predict with tongue in cheek that these things will happen.

Max devours 4 Oyster Shooters
Riley invites Joel Prizbella as her date.
Marina tells everybody about her deep absolute hatred of scallops

Back to the present for a moment. One thing we completely forgot about was that we had to get a marriage license. That is going to happen tomorrow and I am told I don't have to study for this. Much to the chagrin of my fellow co-workers I have not been able to put in sixty hour weeks, but I somehow had to draft a memo stating that I had to leave work early to get a marriage license.

In retrospect I was nervous about being late. Government agencies are a weird place to be in. Despite not being able to take a credit card or a check, YES CASH ONLY, they were all really nice and knew what thet were doing. Neither Jenna or I bothered to even write down the address on the Multnomah County Marriage License Place and both arrived at random places and times. At least the Multnomah County Marriage License Place staff knew what they are doing.

The other day I was sitting at my desk with these numbers on my scratch pad.

9636, 9701, 9715 9638

9536, 9636, 9717, 9228

One was a list of of the numbered pre wedding photos I had chosen for the sign in book. The other list were project id numbers for a report I was semi-mindlessly preparing. I just hope I didn't send Jen project ids. That may not end well. I am fairly confident I did not. And the last thing we need to working on at work is my wedding plans. I am capable of fumbling these by myself.

Then there is the subject of Haikus -Weasked people to submit Haikus along with thier invites.

Here are some examples

Elements of a good marriage....communication, humore, adventure, support, hugs, and lots lovin'?

Love and devotion, laughter, honesty, respect, Enduring Marriage

You only live once. Life is short. Have fun, fun, fun!

Open ears and heart yields forgiving nature. Contentment results.

Lifetime of smiles. sparkle in each other's eyes. Always, everywhere.

There are times when silence has the loudest voice.

To make great marriage use ears more often than mouth. Dogs have this down pat.

Two dry martinis mixed by him and shared with you. Relax at day's end.

Happiness is my wife walking away from me in her leather chaps. (Thanks Greg and Kris!!!)

The question of the day is whether they should be read just like this or whether the wedding team had editorial input. I say noy, but tahts a story for another day.

The Trail Blazers Enigma

2009-04-24T00:12:00.000-07:00

This team always surprises me and I root for them more than any team I have ever rooted for. But Houston and McKenzie River we have a problem. It works like this.

We are getting married next week.
Weddings are expensive.
We have tickets to all the games.
The tickets are expensive.
The second round of the playoffs will mostly be during wedding week where we will be away in McKenzie River and the Beach.
It would be easier on our hectic lives if we did have to deal with the second round of the playoffs.
Like Pavlov's Dog the trumpet calls.
We want the Blazers to win it anyway.
With all our hearts.
We will deal with it then.

And then there is this series. One of the fruits of being a season ticket holder is you get to go to the game. That is if your schedule can afford it. I took an assignment to teach at night this month. I love teaching. It pays the bills. Well it actually only pays for Blazers tickets. Its known in some circles as disposable income.

But

Our beloved Blazers seem to be playing on nights I teach.
And I teach I must.
Game 2 I left the class out early so that they would not get stuck in post game traffic.
Meaning I could watch the rest of the game on television.

We play again next Tuesday the night I once again have class.

I need to hatch a plan.

I love You Now Have a Sex Change

2009-04-23T12:34:00.000-07:00

Actress Lindsay Lohan and DJ Samantha Ronson flaunted their relationship from New York to Dubai. Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl" topped the charts. "The L Word," "Work Out," and "Top Chef" are featuring gay women on TV, and there's even talk of a lesbian reality show in the works.
Certainly nothing is new about women having sex with women, but we've arrived at a moment in the popular culture when it all suddenly seems almost fashionable -- or at least, acceptable.

Well in my opinion this makes a ton of cents.

No problems with the toilet seat thing

Things don't come in jars that need opening any more.
Drills, Circular Saws and Dry Wall now are made for both sexes.
Its all about communication, why learn a second language.
No wet spot arguments. (Do people really argue about that?)
If I were a woman, and I am not I would date a woman because they smell better and taste bettter.
And Its Portland, Oregom where 11 out of 10 woman are dating woman.

April 17th

2009-04-17T09:16:00.000-07:00

April 17th

A soccer game of sorts
where I got down on my
knees and asked the
girl I love to marry me.

One year ago today
and 20 days from now
we walk down the
aisle eternally.

And I thank you for
falling into my life like
glitter out of the
sparkle jet stream.

My New Friend the Blind Guy

2009-04-14T23:08:00.000-07:00

Last Week

I teach class at a local college.
My style can be a bit random.
I teach with the door open.
I noticed an obviously blind guy walking down the hall.
Yelling where is the recycling bin?
Somebody pointed him to the trash can.
I walked out of my class and pointed him to the recycle bin.
He thanked Me.
I walked back into my room and continued teaching.

This Week

I walked into my school building and my new friend was looking for the elevator.
I showed him where it was.
He said Thank You.
I went to my class and started teaching.
I gave the students a lab and walked out in the hall and noticed my friend on a chair.
I asked him what class he was taking.
He answered "A Plus" a programming class.
I told him I teach another programming class.
I invited him to sit in the class some day.
He said Thank You.
and smiled.
He asked me what kind of car did I drive because he could not hear it earlier in the parking lot.
In my mind I tried to remember was he death or was he blind. (Its been a long day).
I said a Prius then remembered they are very quiet cars.
He said cool How long have you had it.
I said its a year old. I l love the car.
His Answer was "Can I drive it?"
I went back to blindly teaching.

More DipShits

2009-03-06T14:56:00.000-08:00

There is no research being done here and I do not watch this show at all except when my fiance had it on the other night for the 13 hour season finale.

This is the worst television I have ever seen. My fiance was watching it and I got a gist of what was going on.The guy is a FuckWad.....(But Mom approves)The little kid is being manipulated. -No comment needed.The dumpee (while hot) -should punch the other chick, Mommas boy and my television. The bachelor - will hit on the male host of the show eventually.the heir apperent - must give good head. So thats what i think of that collasal train wreck.

Speaking of train wrecks

Tonya Harding lashes out at President Obama

PORTLAND -- In a recent interview for HBO's "Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel," Oregonian and infamous figure skater Tonya Harding lashed out about President Obama’s use of her name in a past speech.
Back when he was still on the campaign trail in 2007, Barack Obama talked about how the pundits said he should “knee cap her” or “do a Tonya Harding on the front runner,” referring to his main contender at the time, then U.S. Senator Hillary Clinton

He has this country to think about, he has the candidacy to think about, he has the war to think about, and he has to bring me up? What the hell is important in this world today?” she responded.
“But guess what, I get jobs (BLOW JOBS) because he used my name on national television, because people forgive who Tonya Harding is. All publicity is good publicity.”

Winco House of Horrors

2009-03-03T13:54:00.000-08:00

You know those couples where the guy is a complete dead beat and is incapable of doing anything. Well the other day we were in the Grocery store and the couple in front of had their provebial heads up their butt.

Winco, the fine (sic) grocery store and mis-fit collection that it is, requires customers to bag their own groceries. The couple in front of us had no grasp of this. As their groceries accumulated in the conveyor belt this couple just chitted and chatted and did nothing to get their groceries into bags. One must excuse my myopia as we were in a bit of a hurry as we were meeting somebody in the next hour.

Finally half the couple in front of us suddendly realized they had to bag. Of course Mr Man of the Couple just stood and chatted inane bullshit while his partner packed all of the groceries. I see this kind of behavior all the time. But this was a gay couple and it was a bit unexpected. Some people argue wrongly that giving gay couples the right to marry gives them extra rights.

I beg to differ, as was proven to me that one partner in a relationship being a complete tool and dip shit gives the entire gay community the absolute right to marry and prosper.

I am going to turn the economy around all by myself

2009-02-20T23:30:00.000-08:00

Yes that is my job here to turn the economy around. Life is about perception. Our media does nothing but report bad news which of course feeds into the frenzy of gloom and doom and people react accordingly. No, not with an accordion, but rather people tend to fuel the fire with calculated reaction. That is they do predictable things such as not buying anything, well except beer, cigarettes and ,ironically the IRA of the ages, the fabled lottery ticket.

But when the news is happy and sunny people in this country buy real products like guns, high definition televisions and tickets to the opera. All are non essential but all part of a life worth living. (Not sure about the Guns) Well the intent of this blob (some call it a blog) is to turn the economy around with all the good news that is fit to print or just observations from happy people or in some cases delusional's with conviction.I just got my first sign that the world is going to be okay. Sent to me from my favourite Canadian on the planet and this is a startling photo. Not sure if it is photo shopped but, I don't ever remember seeing this in my sky. Canadian Geese have wonderful foresight and I know they are headed here.

And here is a nice little story from that psuedo monopoly up in Washington. At least when they fire people they seem to be doing it right. Do not click Here.

Slow Down

2009-02-20T00:02:00.000-08:00

Life is way to busy. This week I have some tough times and some great times with my family and that is pretty cool thing.

Max was describing a kid in first grade (Max is in fifth) that he mentors. He described the kid like this.

"He cute , kind of the right size, he is kind like having an IPOD".

Riley says she gets home sick when she she is not at home and Marina is walking around the house beaming that she got 19 out of 17 on her math test.

And my wife to be is upstairs sleeping. She's hot even when she is sleeping.

The dryer is pounding away with Max's sneakers thumping on each side.

Other than that it is quiet.

its nice to slow down and take it all in.

Looking Rediculous

2009-02-11T00:17:00.000-08:00

As we drive down the road, this time of year, there is always a guy dressed up like Uncle Sam waving a sign. The kids and I always have a good laugh as we lament that being a pretty bad job and we wonder how he feels. Lately on my evening runs I would stop on his street corner and have little inane conversations with him.

Discussions like "Hey is that outfit Tax Deductible"
"Ha Ha -No Its Not"

We had developed a banter.

Well today I ventured out to our usual Tuesday night run. I just wanted stop in and say hello to the couple setting the run whom had just had a baby. When I get there I had forgot the run was to celebrate the once flat chested mother's newly created breasts. Soon two girls pinned two inflated baloons on my jacket and I thought nothing about it. I needed to get home and finish the curry I was cooking at home. So a mile later whom do I run into but the guy dressed up like Uncle Sam waving a sign. He just looked at me in hysterics. He said nothing. Just laughed like crazy.

Which he was.

Key Things -Where are They

2009-02-07T01:36:00.000-08:00

Key Ingredients

We have important day to day things that hold our lives together. These things change constantly and where we put them seem to change constantly.

My Substance

(For those scoring at home please list 10 physical items important in your day to day life and from memory and recall where they are right now) . Please do not include your spouse or partner because if you do not where they are you have bigger problems than locating your key.

Here are Mine

Keys - In the front room on the credenza - I think.
Jen's Keys - I have no idea.
My son Max's soccer stuff -that's his deal (trouble looming).
Work Badge -on the kitchen table (I think)
A1 Running Shoes - right behind me.
The New Submarines Cd - I wish I knew.
Lucy The Escape Beagle- snuggled with Jen in Bed. (I think).
The TV Remote -best guess the sofa cushions.
My Day Timer - By my keys. (One key item dependent on another may be a problem)
Tickets to The Next Blazers Game - (Right where they have been for the last five years)

And the bonus Question
When you meet somebody new how do you remember their name. (Just Circle One)

You are too busy worried about how you appear to them you never hear their name.
You use an association. Hi "My Name is Maria" . You think 'oh one of Columbus's sailing ships'.
You write the new name down some where.
I never really thought about it.
I just remember it comes easy to me.
Keys - I think they are in my jacket pocket- I think.
Other.

Math Is a Religion

2009-01-28T13:02:00.000-08:00

Just observations on a Normal Wednesday

I am not a big fan of 8:00 meeting but today’s meeting was just perfectly fine. I walked away with very little action items and in general I feel pretty good. The curry from last night seems to be reminding me that I had curry last night.

My work place is crazy, or maybe I make it crazy. I have not been able to make it around to do my green belt training. Well I got a note today from the administrator that I have until May the 12th to get that done. Need to talk to my boss so that I can actually set aside that time to get it done. I have a habit of taking on too much and not doing this stuff, some call it being a victim, others simply a team player.

At 10:00 almost everyday the system churns to a crawl. Opening the simplest documents is a chore. Well I just had a brainstorm and of course off the cuff decided today it would be cool to join the Peace Corp. I think that’s an extension of the book I am reading as well as some of the mindless things we do during the day.

Well at least I got a walk in today. 1.5 miles but its better than a zero.

2009-01-15T14:44:00.000-08:00

Spaghetti Tacos?

Wheat Free Pasta.

Your Own Sphegetti Sauce

Onions

Tomato

Lettuce

Hot Sauce

Cheese

Corn Taco Shells

Fill Tacos with Spaghetti and Sauce. Top with Cheese (first) tand what ever veggies that you want. It is very important to use Japanese Serving Bowls. This is according Riley. When the kids have something in mind by all means go with it.

My Loser Collection

2008-07-17T11:03:00.000-07:00

People who work Hard at Being MisFits

I wonder where Richard Henry Berkey, 63, of Beaverton, is these days the world famous Peeping Dick

As well as Michael James Kuhnhausen, 58 the jizz Mopper by day and hit Man by night.

And then there is this recent legend who drives coolers around town on a cooler and gets a DUI.

And this woman whom she wasn't a sucker or an easy mark.

And this guy who doesn't like gay sweaters. McCain Unraveled by 'Gay Sweaters'?