A Love Letter to my Appliances

To the Dearly Departed

Oh washing machine you old leaky bastard. We are breaking up with you.

You are no longer the pristine clean machine I once knew.

You are now a dirty old man that soils the sheets.

But we had good years together through thick and thin.

You cleaned our running shoes and

sparkling white linens.

You were always faithful and a little bit gay.

But we are moving on.

And Mr Refrigerator

You have become a frigid bastard and

you are now icy down below.

The best you do now is hold up magnets

that hold up pictures of pleasant days

gone by.

When you were young you were a shiny

bastion of hope holding micro brews and

pickles a plenty.

Good bye frigid bastard.

And Garbage Disposal

You capricious wanker. You sit silent. idle

not churning anything. The switch on the

wall just sits there all broken waiting to

be fixed.

Electricity my old friend.

I have come to talk to you again.

and the F***en Toilet

I have always hated you

every single one of you.

Spilling water, making gurgling noise

and notflushing when

flushing is what you do.

Screw you toilet.

You will not be missed.

Saving Ryan's Privates

News Release from Washington County Sheriff's Department:
Saving Private Ryan
On Saturday, October 18, 2009, at 10:54 p.m., Washington County Sheriff's Deputies arrested 26-year-old Billy Gean Ryan for multiple crimes stemming from two attempted car jackings and several burglaries. The 911 calls started at 7:49 p.m. when a woman called from her cell phone to report that a man tried to take her car. She reported that as he told her to get out of the car, he reached into his shirt like he had a gun. The woman rolled up the window and drove away from the suspect. Deputies arrived and set up a perimeter while a K9 unit searched for the suspect.
---The woman did not realize guns can shoot out windows and of course Loser Boy tried to fire that thing inside his shirt…
At 8:06 p.m. a resident in the 700 block of SW Blackcourt Place, called 911 and reported that a man had just entered their house and threatened to shoot them if they didn't give him their car keys. The caller said the man, later identified as 26-year-old Billy Gean Ryan, had come into their house while smoking a cigarette and asked about the car in the driveway. He then threatened to shoot them while reaching toward his armpit as if he had a gun. The resident told the Mr. Ryan to leave and he did.
--And he did that, he just left still smoking a cigarette.
Just after Mr. Ryan left the house, he threatened to shoot another man on the street. Mr. Ryan told the man he would shoot him if he did not give Mr. Ryan his car keys. The man refused and Mr. Ryan walked down the street.
--Persistence persistence persistence with no plan in mind
At 8:10 p.m. another 911 call was placed reporting that Mr. Ryan had entered an apartment at 674 SW 201st Avenue. The man in the apartment reported that Mr. Ryan came in and told him that he was being chased. Mr. Ryan offered the man $5,000 for his car. The man refused and told Mr. Ryan to leave which he did.
---where he got the money is beyond me and it must have been a hell of a car.
At 8:17 p.m. a man walked out of his house located in the 800 bock of SW 198th Avenue. He saw Mr. Ryan standing next to his car holding a Gatorade and a cell phone. The man saw that his car door was open and he realized that Mr. Ryan had taken the Gatorade and cell phone out of his car. The man asked Mr. Ryan what he was doing. Ryan asked the man if he had "seen the man the police were looking for?" Ryan then gave him the cell phone, took a drink of the Gatorade, and took off running.
--I can see how he needed the Gatorade and wow he took up running.
At 9:11 p.m. a woman called 911 from the 19000 block of SW Ashcroft Lane and reported that she found Mr. Ryan in her car parked in her garage. She said he told her he had fallen asleep in the car. The woman went into the house and locked the door. Mr. Ryan opened the garage door and left the residence.
Persistence persistence persistence with no exit strategy in mind
Numerous deputies were combing the neighborhood for Mr. Ryan. Just after the information was broadcast from the previous 911 call, a deputy spotted Mr. Ryan in the area of SW 198th Avenue and SW Brookfield Street. Mr. Ryan ran from the deputy but was quickly apprehended after a brief foot chase.
After Mr. Ryan was positively identified by several victims, he was arrested on the following charges.
· Robbery II (four counts)
. Dumb fu*kery
· Menacing (four counts)
· Burglary I (two counts)
· Unauthorized Entry to a Motor Vehicle (two counts)
· Criminal Trespass I
Mr. Ryan is being held in the Washington County on a $250,000 bail. If you have any information about this series of crimes please call the Washington County Sheriff's Office at 503-846-2700.

18 things to teach your sons about women

We hope to rid the male sex of all the things that make us rant by raising boys with balanced male and female perspectives. Here are the 19 things we'll teach them.

1. Pick your battles. (Argue what you know not what you do not know..The Toilet Seat is not a battle)

2. Walk on the outside (closer to the street) of your female companion. (Or she will push you into traffic if you do not follow number 1.)
3. Saying "You're being crazy" is never an appropriate response, unless you want her to go postal on you. The Frisky: How to keep the crazy at bay ("Is it me who is crazy" is also not appropriate)
4. Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids are things men can actually do as well as women. (Do not let them know that or you will be doing it)
5. Keep backup supplies of quality chocolate in the house for her to raid. (That includes beer)
Don't Miss
The Frisky: 5 things I'd do differently in single life
The Frisky: What future father will teach his son about women
The Frisky: 5 things I'd do differently if I re-lived my single life
6. Buying tampons and other feminine products shouldn't embarrass you --everyone knows they're not for you. (Actually relish these moments because she is crazy at this point)
7. Women like compliments and gifts. The Frisky: Is chivalry sexist? You are really good with a crockpot is not really either.
8. Earning less than her shouldn't be emasculating. The Frisky: Why marrying for money isn't a totally bad idea
9. Be on time, even if she usually isn't. (And if she is always on time she may not be a girl -check first)
10. Don't be a pouty puppy when shopping with her. (Actually pouty is never good. By all means if you can just avoid shopping altogther. In other words stick with what you know.)
11. Find out what her favorite flower is. The Frisky: 5 easy chivalrous moves to get the girl
12. If you like her, then don't buy her shoes; it's bad luck. (Actually, snow shoes will do the trick)
13. Smiling and nodding aren't the same as listening. (My son was doing this as I read this list to him)
14. It's OK to cry in front of her, but keep the blubbering to a minimum. (Actually never use the word blubber in her company)
15. Personality goes a long way. (And lack of the ability to laugh ones self is deal killer)
16. At some point she'll be more important than your mother. (And guess what you are grounded)
17. You will never completely understand women. (Son master calculus or compete in the tour d.France. Its easier)
18. Oh yeah, and no woman will ever be good enough for my baby

19. Understand this now. Just put the toilet seat down or somebody is going to drown.

Train Freaking Wrecks

Microsoft erases black man from web photo. Clever, lazy trainwreck at Microsoft.
The original photo featured three business people – one white, one black and one Asian – smiling as they attended a meeting. It was published on Microsoft's main US site, to advertise the company's business productivity software.
But in the version doctored to appeal to Polish customers the black man's face was replaced with that of a white man – although the original model's hand remained clearly visible.

-------------------------------
You know you are a train wreck when you miss a day of work and end up in jail. Dont Click Here

A company named Biel the "most dangerous celebrity in cyberspace." One in five Internet searches for terms related to "Jessica Biel" leads to a Web page, photo, video or piece of spam that contains a cyber-security threat, the report said.
Those who follow her are a trainwreck.

George Bush sings REM's Its the end of the World as We Know and I feel Fine. Speaking of TrainWrecks

Lucy Goes Drinking

Update -September 15 2009. So we are all running out the door this morning and apparently Max missed something on the way out. That is shutting the door. That's not going to end well.

Details Shmetails. So the phone rings as I get to work and Lucy is on the loose and of course it is Jenna's first day of teaching.

20 minutes later the phone rings again. Lucy has been found. She is at LaurleWood Brew Pub. Apparently some lady is walking here home

Moon and Sixpence

So a dog walks into a bar and the bar tender says “Why the long tail?”

Yes while I was out riding bikes yesterday Lucy the Beagle apparently decided to take her self out for a walk.
The Vet called (their phone number is on her collar) and says that Lucy has been spotted at the Moon and Something. My wife quickly figures that out, and she has made it to the Bar Down the street. I have no idea how she made it in the front door. The dog that is not my wife. She is not 21.

The leash in my wife’s hand probably clued the patrons as to her mission of the day. Apparently Lucy had stepped out for a beer.

Lesson learned here.

NONE.

Freak Show Countinued

Underwear bandit suspect arrested

SALEM, Ore. - A Marion County man is charged with numerous counts of theft and burglary. He is accused of stealing women’s underwear, and he was caught wearing it.Randall Giesbers of Salem was arrested at his neighbor’s home Monday night wearing nothing but his female neighbor’s panties. The woman’s boyfriend caught him, wrestled him to the ground and held him until police arrived.In Giesber’s garage, Marion County deputies discovered several large garbage bags full of women’s underwear, leading them to believe there are more victims.Deputies say Giesbers has no previous criminal history.

1. I imagine the boyfriend beat the intruder off.. This story says freak show before you even read the first word.

Deputies charged 47-year-old Randall Joseph Giesbers with burglary, theft, criminal trespass and possession of illegal fireworks. (What the fu** was he going to do with fireworks)

“There were some scrapes, bruises, and bumps as he was trying to detain him until we got there,” said Lieutenant Sheila Lorance of the Marion County Sheriff’s Office.
“It’s creepy. It’s just a creepy thing,” added Lorance.

Authorities later located large garbage bags full of women's clothing, underwear, shoes and accessories in the suspect's garage in the same neighborhood.

“I see him all the time, very nice man,” said neighbor Lee Mathieson. (Now you see him in a different light)

You Don't Send Me Flowers AnyMore

My wife recieved some flowers this weekend. It was a beautiful simple batch of flowers. They were so un expected that I literally tripped over them when I walked out on the porch.

Jenna was so happy and she anxiously read the note that came with it. The note said some thing like.

Congratulations on a job well done.

Dad.

Jenna called her Dad that day

And her Dad was somewhat dumbfounded as he did not send her flowers.

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter c would be dropped to be replased either by k or s, and likewise x would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which c would be retained would be the ch formation, which will be dealt with later.

Year 2 might reform w spelling, so that which and one would take the same konsonant, wile

Year 3 might well abolish y replasing it with i and

Year 4 might fiks the g/j anomali wonse and for all.Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez c, y and x -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais ch, sh, and th rispektivli.Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

Timbers vs Vancouver

Final Score Timbers 1- WhiteCaps 0

Very enjoyable night on the pitch. We arrived late to the game after a great after noon of watching Miss Planet Clare and her brother Hugh. We were the last ones in to the parking spot and the Minivan barely fit in. The walk up lines for the game were tremendous.

I love the Canadian National Anthem and of course the girl who sang the American version sang way too slow for the Timbers Army. The night was a bit steamy and the regulars arrived late and were in true form. Even Val and Blondie. We even had newly found Famous writer Sean and his lovely daughter. A perfect night at the Piggy. We brought a great friend to her first game in years and she seemed to enjoy the footy and even the beers.

To be quite honest the Canadian boys carried the first 20 minutes and it felt like the Whitecaps would break through. Number 9 Marlon James was an absolute menace and it seemed Cameron Knowles could not handle him. In the 30th minute Ryan Pore scored on a breakaway which could have been an own goal but he tallied anyway.

Nishimura almost chipped one in the 33rd minutes and Suzuki almost blasted one in in the 39th minute. Nishimura looked great today. Not sure why Scot with one T was not playing.

Cronin played fantastic all night long. The White Caps never really threatened except a few balls that went high or wide. In the 79th minute he scrambles and stopped the best shot of the night by the Whitecaps.

As always we loved the game and of course the result.

Here's the rest of the schedule

8/8CHARLESTON 7 p.m.
8/12@ Montreal 4:45 p.m.
8/15@ Rochester4:30 p.m.
8/22MIAMI 7:15 p.m.
8/28@ Charleston (FSC)
5 p.m. 9/3ROCHESTER
7 p.m.9/7@ Austin
4 p.m. 9/11 AUSTIN7 p.m.
9/13 CLEVELAND5 p.m.
9/17CLEVELAND7:15

Charleston is going to be interesting as are the Rhinos and Montreal on the road. After that we have a pretty cake schedule. I'll let the soccer stuff to the soccer people. I love the game but love the sights and smells of the game.

Max and Sean's daughter having a ball doing magic trips, Timbers Army songs and even our own songs. The smells of the BBQ and the stink bombs and the clouds hanging over the cascades as we looked to the scoreboard that read. TIMBERS 1- Vancouver 0.

We have a guess the attendance contest every night and my original guess was 10780 which I adjusted upward later. 10783 loud and crazy tonight. Even the west end was up and in their face. And of course the post game where we acknowledge the lads and they do the same thing to us. PGE park is a fun place to be on game night.

A Quick Glance back to 1984 Numbers

HARPER:S INDEX (This was taken from 1984) Observations
Percentage of American teachers who say that if they could start over, they would not teach : 24

Percentage who said this in 1965 : 7. 1 (Something tells me this number has changed recently in the other direction)
Percentage increase, from the mid-1970s to today, in the number of resumes received each year by the CIA: 100 (This was during Reagan - Bet you it is on the down slope)
Number of states in which some part of the B-1 bomber is manufactured : 44 (Enough said)
Estimated percentage of all U. S. defense contracts that are awarded through fully competitive bidding : 5 (Haliburton et all bet you that has not changed)
Estimated number of defense-industry jobs that would be lost in the event of a nuclear freeze : 250,000 (Yeah defense industry jobs never leave)
Percentage of Americans who, in 1981, thought their chances of surviving a nuclear war were
Percentage of Soviet children who believe nuclear war can be prevented : 92 (They may have been right)
Percentage of American children who believe this: 65 (They may have been wrong)
Rank, among children's most common fears, of being home alone : 1 (well worth exploring)
Of getting up in front of their class: 2
Percentage of all playground injuries that occur on the monkey Bars: 55 (They have virtually dissapeared)
Number of bird species that have been sighted in Central Park since its opening in 1858 : 259
Bald eagle population of the continental United States in 1979 : 9,815
In 1982 : 13,825 (In the early 1980s, the estimated total population was 100,000 birds, with 110,000–115,000 by 1992;[2] the U.S. state with the largest resident population is Alaska, with about 40,000–50,000 birds, with the next highest population being the Canadian province of British Columbia with 20,000–30,000 birds in 1992.[2])
Percentage of all life forms known to have ever existed that still exist today: 10
Number of robots FAO Schwarz expects to sell this Christmas season: 10,000 Not a real big seller any more
Average amount stolen by pickpockets, per incident: $218
Byshoplifters : $72
Total number of recordings of "White Christmas" that have been sold : 150,431,669 (I tunes has helped a re emergence)
Chance of a white Christmas in New York: 23% Now 10 percent
In Minneapolis: 73% (Probably less)
Percentage of Americans who often feel they did something exactly right : 55 (I understand with the divirce rates what they are, This number is wrong)
Who often sing, hum, or whistle : 48
Percentage of Americans who believe their presence at a sports event influences its outcome 25
Percentage of libel cases in which juries rule against media defendants : 80
Percentage of those verdicts that are reversed on appeal : 60
Percentage of college men who say they might commit rape if there were no chance of being caught: 35
Number of American men who have surgery each year solely to improve their personal appearance: 500,000 (Gee whiz I wonder WTF happened to this number)
Average year-end bonus in 1983 for corporate chief executive officers: $98,424
Combined net worth of the 400 richest Americans: $125,000,000,000
Combined value of all the currency and coin in circulation in the U.S. : $175,000,000,000
Amount spent by the U.S. government on advertising in 1983 : $228,857,200
Amount spent by Coca-Cola: $282,150,000
Percentage of U. S. car owners who keep maps in their glove compartments : 50 (We now have Navigation)
Sunglasses : 23
Gloves: 0

Random Stupid Surveys

A new study shows it costs about $221,000 ($292,000 when adjusted for inflation) to raise a child. Does cost impact your decisions, when it comes to growing your family?

Well listening to the Song "I Wish I had a Million Dollars" made me think I'll take 4. I just saws this note here.

ST. LOUIS -It's no secret that raising children can be expensive, but how about nearly a quarter of a million dollars expensive?
A government report released Tuesday says a middle-income family with a child born last year will spend about $221,000 raising that child through age 17.
The report by the USDA's Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion identified housing as the largest single expense, followed by food and child care/education costs. The $221,000 in expenses rises to about $292,000 when adjusted for inflation.
USDA economist Mark Lino, who co-authored the report with Andrea Carlson, often hears people say children cost a lot when the annual findings are issued.
"I tell them children also have many benefits, so you have to keep that in mind," he said.
Families with more income spend more money on child-related costs, the report said. A two-parent family that earns less than $57,000 annually will spend about $160,000 on a child from birth through high school. Those with an income between $57,000 and $99,000 spend about $221,000 and those with higher incomes are expected to spend roughly $367,000 through age 17.

Well I find these numbers way low.

Lets see Here are some neccessities for kids.

1. 
   
   Soccer/VollyBall Camp


2. 
   
   Summer Camps


3. 
   
   I Pods and I Tunes


4. 
   
   Health F***ing Care. (That's a Pandoras Can of Worms)


5. 
   
   Food


6. 
   
   Supplies/Bus Passes/Pepperidge Farm Fishies


7. 
   
   Shampoo. (Estimated 500.00 per year over 20 years,,it adds up)


8. 
   
   Skateboards and Bikes


9. 
   
   Fines for stuff they break.


10. 
    
    And a giant accrual for all the change that dissapears fron Various change drawers.

And the crazy assumption this survery makes. Til they reach the age of 17. Lets face it that are not signing with a major league team at that age.

They are.

1. 
   
   Going to College


2. 
   
   Driving a Car.


3. 
   
   Eating alot more.
   

I guess I forgot about that yearly Tax deduction. And lets face it when kids are young they actually make you money because you can not go to a movie or hiking the Alps.

Still I think the figure stated above was for raising a dog.

SomeTimes Its Best To Not Plan AnyThing

The best laid plans simply some times go un laid.

We had nothing planned for yesterday but sometimes that works out perfectly. We decided to head to Forest Park and go for a hike. A hike right now is a luxury item and I was a bit tepid with my expectations as I am just coming off a busted ankle.

My wife and I pulled into Germantown road and the day was hot and dusty but Forest Park can be pretty forgiving with a constant canopy of Northwest Shade. In the first few steps I had a sharp pain in my ankle but I soon became adept at walking. We enjoyed looking at the trees and the patterns of the moss on the trees. After about a mile my foot started feeling pretty decent. We even progressed to a point where I actually ran the last mile; it was probably a 10 minute mile and my wife finished in front of me, but it may have been one of my favourites miles I had ever run. Its nice to get my feet in motion once again.

We then just headed up to the Skyline Tavern. I had never been there during the day and I was quite surprised. my wife and I shared a picture of beer and played a little horse shoes. The bar tender was nice enough to give me a large bag of ice to ice the foot. There is something to be said for a post run glow sharing a beer with your wife. A simple day, but wonderfully simple in a complicated world.

While sitting in the bar we got a frantic text from two friends that they were in need of some company to have a beer or two. We headed to the County Cork with a stolen hour to kill. I had not been to the Cork in awhile. It was great to see some old friends and have a Ploughman's platter. Another simple hour in a complicated world.

And you can not beat beats. The Ploughman's Platter has beets in some kind of beety, funky sauce and they are unbelievable. With a little salt. Another indescribable simple pleasure.

This post is basically about doing nothing quite out of the Ordinary. Its about sitting back and watching the world go by with somebody whom is special in your life.

Stone Man Willie

When i was a kid my Dad, and maybe my Mom and I am sure Doc (my grandmom's boyfriend who drove a Corvair) always alluded to some guy named Stone Man Willie. He as rumored to be in the bottom of the Court House in the middle of Reading Pennsylvania.

The Expanding past: As stories sink into the past they simply get bigger and bigger.

Well when we were kids we were told a story about some guy who turned to Stone when the embalming process took a drastically wrong turn. This guy was rumored to be made of stone and he was housed somewhere in Reading Pennsylvania.

Well I was always a little intrigued and to be quite honest a little bit afraid to actually view this monster that no way in this world was going to ever exist. Also as I got older I realized my Dad told crazy stories that had very little truth to them and my Mom somehow believed them and passed them on to us.

Amongst other great big lies where.

• If you can see the back of the leaves it is going rain. (My Mom)


• Cows stand up when it is going to rain. (Grandfather Hoover)


• Apples give you Carly Marbles. (GrandMother Hoover)


• Swimming Lions will bite you when you go over a bridge. (I made that up and Zach passed it on)
  

Well I lived my entire life thinking Stone Man Willy was a fabrication of Dad's.

Well I hijacked this story from the internets...

STONE (MAN) WILLIE
Stone (Man) Willie
In the year of 1895, a body of a man was taken to the Auman Funeral Home in Reading, Pa. He died in the old prison that stood in Penn's Common which is now our City Park.
Theodore C. Auman was intrigued with the possibilities of preserving the dead, other than placing them on a block of ice. He had found in an old German medical book a chemical formula for preserving meat. Until now, he had no means of experimenting. He seeked permission from state and local authorities to use the unclaimed body. In his first attempt, he used too much formula and the body became mummified.
The identify of Stone (Man) Willie has to this day remained anonymous. He was thought to be Michael Phohonski, a man who hanged himself in the same prison. Pietro Buccieri, a man who killed a nurse at St. Joseph Hospital in 1892. James Murphy from Wilkes-Barre, James Maypenny from Philadelphia, plus many more.
When he was arrested Oct. 7, in West Reading, Pa, for burglarizing the Morris Brown Boardinghouse. He gave the name James Penn, admitting it wasn't his real name. To this day, no one knows where the name Stone (Man) Willie came from.
The only time I saw Stone (Man) Willie was in 1972. He was in a lower part of the funeral home. He laid on a cot. There had been many myths about the dead man which were dispelled. His hair and fingernails do not grow. The body shrinks every year making the hair and nails longer. He was a white man , 37 years of age, 5' 10" and weighted 127 pounds. The formula that was injected into him has made his skin tone darker. We were told that every few years they give him a new pair of pajamas to ware.
Around 1994, the Auman Family sold the business to Service Corporation International, the largest funeral and cemetery company in the world. Theodore C. Auman III remains as president and manager. It was rumored, Stone (Man) Willie would be buried. Last week a call was made to Auman's and they said Willie was indeed still there but he is no longer available to be viewed.

As they say in Berks County.

It don't matter.

Here are some classic berks County Quotes about the Stone Man

Here is another cool story about Berks oddities.

I Read I Remember I Forget

“The Other” is a novel about a Kurt who goes off the rails and ends up living as a hermit in a remote forest in Washington State. The author is David Guterson, of “Snow Falling on Cedars” fame. The recluse is John William Barry, sole heir to a banking and timber fortune. John William, as his friends call him, is as old-school Seattle as it gets. His great-great-grandfather was a member of the Denny Party, whose members founded the city in 1851. In the Northwest, this is akin to Mayflower lineage. John William is a smart, troubled rich kid who loathes phonies and sellouts, beginning with his own “weaseling, demonic forefathers.” He’s the kind of guy who drops acid and chants, “No escape from the unhappiness machine.”

Well I was sitting and reading the back credits after finishing this book and I can honestly say I loved "Our Lady of The Forest" but I have very little recollection of it. So I took some notes on "The Other".

There are certain scenes from this book that stick in my head especially one of the opening scenes where JW and the author (Countryman) battle for 5th pace in a high school track meet. Its funny how friendships start and friendships endure.

Its a juxtaposition between building a life and building a cave and just plain hiding in it. Its also a nice little reflection how Seattle used to be before Microsoft and Starbucks, but more importantly it is a homage to male friendship. In this busy world it is a rarity that relationships endure years and obstacle, but somehow it works here.

"The Other" hints at portraying JW as a hero but I kind of view his as a completely wasted life, and more specifically a more wasted life lived by JW's father. He had a lot of money and a lot of luck but very little skills as a parent and a mentor. like the German population under Hitler, he just let it happen as a passive participant.

Snow Falling on Cedars was fantastic. I also believe that book was the right book at the right time but. "The Other" probably is a better book. There is plenty to glean from it it and some imagery I may never forget.

I need to get my brothers opinion.

107 Degrees of Supination

Okay I get it. It is hot. We have a family tradition of punching somebody in the arm when they state the obvious. I have heard the statement "boy it is hot" so many times. I do not even hear it any more. I only punch family.

Today it is going to be 108. How does 108 differ from 105. In my opinion it doesn't. Your just one more day sick of it. I did get out for a bike ride today and you know what, it is no big deal. It's kind of like riding a horse in the old west. it is dusty and you are thirsty.

According the New York Times "Media and Advertising: This is Coors approach to advertising.

The campaign is meant to tease beer drinkers, piquing their curiosity until the introduction on May 15 of what Coors Light is calling cold-activated cans: The mountains on the cans’ labels turn from white to blue when the beer is the right (cold) temperature for drinking. The cans are a companion to the cold-activated Coors Light bottles introduced in 2007.

The imbiber needs insurance that their beer is actually cold. I can not believe that Coors is actually fawning to the idiot that lie with in us all. I will make no opinions or judgements. I just simply refuse to drink that stuff.

Now I need somebody to tell me when it is actually hot. I have a Bangles song stuck in my head. That should tell me it is hot.

Close your eyes and give me your hand

Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?

Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming

Or is this burning an eternal flame?

I think my brain caught on fire.

Blind as Hell Faith

OREGON CITY, Ore. -- A Clackamas County jury on Thursday found Carl and Raylene Worthington not guilty of manslaughter in the death of their toddler daughter.

Carl Worthington was found guilty of criminal mistreatment, a misdemeanor carrying a maximum sentence of a year in jail. Sentencing was set for July 31. Raylene Worthington was found not guilty of that charge.

The Worthingtons, who believe in faith healing, were charged in the death of their 15-month-old daughter Ava, who died on a Sunday evening in March 2008.
The jury's verdict was read in the Clackamas County Courthouse in Oregon City Thursday afternoon, seven days after the jury began deliberation.

-------------------

Okay enough said. I do not believe this couple killed their child and I am a bit mixed if the the punishment actually fits the crime.

But think for a minute;

What would have this ruling been if the Religion in question was of Islam, Buddhism or Hinduism. I believe the ruling would have been drastically different. I literally believe this jury in Suburban middle America would have thrown the book at them but since this is a case involving Christian based religion the sentence came out accordingly.

We have schools that teach abstinence and feel it is the best way to not get pregnant. We have schools that teach that evolution is a myth. As long as it is based on a Christian religion its okay to do so. Same thing for this bizarre case.

If we march a man into War and he is killed there is no crime committed. I guess the same can my concluded in this case here. The jury is still out on that. Actually on second thought, The jury has ruled. And in my opinion. They did not get it right? And I have faith in that.

Jurors saw the Worthingtons as loving, caring parents, said 25-year-old juror.

I see them as negligant, and out of touch. With a life time of regret they must live with. and if they can live with themselves. I still have a problem with it.

If another non Christian faith came along and said, "The after life is so much more beautiful" ; we did the best we can. This would have been an even quicker trial with a different out come.

Life Shaking Music We are Going Nightswimming

We all have memories to songs that can not be explained. But when we can explain them it makes a bit of sense. But there is also a lot that goes unexplained.

I am a huge R.E.M. fan and I would always buy their music the day it came out. I still remember the day I was introduced to R.E.M. I was in grad school at William and Mary and quirky bird named Amy deposited in my pocket a cassette tape of both the Murmurs" and "Reckoning" cds. It was like a drug deal . But I loved that music more than anything. In retrospective that little cd influenced my musical taste from that day forward.

Somewhere along the line the CD "Automatic for the People" came out. It was a stretch of my life where I was busy raising kids and I bought the cd the day it came out as usual but I never really had a chance to listen to it. Really listen to it.

Somewhere along the line the song sunk in. I have no idea where. Seriously I listened to that CD occasionally over the years and I liked it but no particular track stuck out.

Then I saw it played live. Mike Mills on the piano and Stipe on vocals. it was at a half filled Clark County amphitheater. Wilco opened that night. WTF. But that performance literally brought me to tears. It was one of the most beautiful songs I have ever seen done in concert. I had tears running down my cheecks.

My fiance and I were deciding what song to dance to at our wedding. I suggested Nightswimming. I do not believe that Jenna had ever heard the song before. It had no particular meaning to our relationship. But its the prettiest song on the planet.

So an a picture perfect spring day the opening piano bars to NightSwimming once again brought tears to my eyes. It may have been the 5 of the happiest minutes in my life dancing to Nightswimming with my new wife.

Nightswimming, remembering that night.
September's coming soon.
I'm pining for the moon.
And what if there were two
Side by side in orbit
Around the fairest sun?
That bright, tight forever drum
Could not describe nightswimming.

Hobble Before Walk Before You Run

Yes almost three weeks ago I was running in the middle of the road and broke my ankle. I made the cursory trip to the emergency room where I was told I had a busted ankle. That is not great news for somebody who loves to be active. And a pet beagle (Ghosty Pig) who has no idea what a cast entails.

To be quite honest I have had a bit of a depression as I could not do anything. The chores around the house were impossible and getting to work was a recipe for disaster. I have my loving wife to thank for getting me through a very tough time. She has been amazing and has picked up the slack and has not let my sense of self esteem slip all that much.

The orders from the doctors have been non existent. I get mixed signals on what I am supposed to do. So basically I have been listening to my body. Well for the most part. A walking cast is just for that ; walking. I don't see lugging around an extra five pound contraption while manning my crutches.

I really abhor the attention a cast somehow casts upon you. Everybody wants to talk about it and I simply do not. I simply want to hobble, then walk then run again.

My wife is away this weekend and I am somewhat bored and some what limited. Not a real good combination. I good time to push it just a little.

Today I took my first steps. The heat of summer was just, that but it was nice to stroll the six block in my nieghbor hood in my 10 dollar fake Vans my son bought me. Taking those first steps toward recovery.

And my Beagle is also happy.

Lies Lays Bad Lies and Bad Lays

LONDON (AP)—Richard Gasquet escaped a lengthy doping ban Wednesday when the International Tennis Federation ruled that he inadvertently took cocaine.
The 23-year-old Frenchman, who was cleared to resume playing after completing a 2 1/2 -month ban Wednesday, convinced an independent anti-doping tribunal that he ingested cocaine by kissing a woman he met at a nightclub in Miami.
The tribunal panel of three lawyers said Gasquet consumed no more than “a grain of salt” of the drug, and a long ban would be an injustice in a case which was “unusual to the point of being probably unique.”
“We have found the player to be a person who is shy and reserved, honest and truthful, and a man of integrity and good character,” the tribunal said in its ruling.

Okay I buy that.

• 
  
  And Barry Bonds got his steroid reading from taking practice swings with the ball girl.


• 
  
  Of course Floyd Landis got that crazy high tetasterone reading from his bike seat.

When Harry Met Linda

(UPI) - Linda the penguin has split up two male penguins who lived as a nesting couple for six years at the San Francisco Zoo, caretakers said.
Male penguins Harry and Pepper had been so content together they were allowed to incubate and hatch an egg laid by another Magellanic penguin last year, zookeeper Anthony Brown said.
"Of all of the parents that year, they were the best. They took very good care of their chick," Brown told the San Francisco Examiner in a story published Saturday.
Enter the widow Linda, who began courting Harry in her partner's old burrow shortly after his death this past winter, Brown said.
"To be completely anthropomorphizing, Linda seems conniving," Brown said. "She's got her plan. I don't think she was wanting to be a single girl for too long."

This is fairly predictable. And no she does not have a plan. Never did, never will, just the basic vision of creating drama. Woman are just that Drama Queens. And of course the zoo is in San Fransisco.

It captivated millions of people around the world for eight days in the summer of 1969. It brought glory to the embattled U.S. space program and inspired beliefs that anything was possible.

Moon landing hoax theorists point to the "rippling" flag as evidence the landings were faked.

It's arguably the greatest technological feat of the 20th century.
And to some, it was all a lie.
Forty years after Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin set foot on the moon, a small cult of conspiracy theorists maintains the historic event -- and the five subsequent Apollo moon landings -- were staged. These people believe NASA fabricated the landings to trump their Soviet rivals and fulfill President Kennedy's goal of ferrying humans safely to and from the moon by the end of the 1960s.
"I do know the moon landings were faked," said crusading filmmaker Bart Sibrel, whose aggressive interview tactics once provoked Aldrin to punch him in the face. "I'd bet my life on it."
Sibrel may seem crazy, but he has company. A 1999 Gallup poll found that a scant 6 percent of Americans doubted the Apollo 11 moon landing happened, and there is anecdotal evidence that the ranks of such conspiracy theorists, fueled by innuendo-filled documentaries and the Internet, are growing.

This has to be one of the crazier assumptions I have seen in my life. Some of these people take on faith literally the exact interpretation of the Bible and believe it actually happened verbatim but they have a hard time believing that man actually landed on the moon.

Death with Indignity

Death with Indignity

Fautenberry was transferred Monday from the Ohio State Penitentiary in Youngstown to the Southern Ohio Correctional Facility in Lucasville, where state officials were preparing for his execution.

His special meal request was two eggs sunny-side up, fried potatoes, two pieces of fried bologna, four pieces of wheat bread, two pieces of wheat toast with butter, four slices of tomato, a side of lettuce and mayonnaise, two Three Musketeers candy bars and two packages of Reese's peanut butter cups.

I am not sure what my last meal would be in this case, but I hope that I never end up in the predictament.

But I like the choice of Sunny Side up Eggs. I am a great cook but do not do well with sunny side eggs. So it would be nice to have somebody to prepare them. But eggs always make my stomach ache, but I guess when you are going to be killed anyway, a stomach ache does not matter. But I guess you could die of a heart attack to dampen the spirits of a the pro death penalty crowd.

Fried Bologna -now thats unusual. Haven't had it since I was a kid. Another Excellent choice.

I am really surprised that the makers of these Candy products have not cashed in here. There's a huge market here as with somebodies dying wish they want a

Broken Bones

Dumb assed me was running in a cul-d-sac and twisted my ankle and Voila instantly I knew it was broken. Which led me to the Providence Emergency Room which has its cast of Castaways and Misfits.

We're lining up the light-loafere'd
And the bored bench warmers
Castaways and cutouts, fill it up
Come join the youth and beauty brigade
Nothing will stand in our way

Some of the people I saw there on a busy Monday Night where.

BEE Boy - A young boy of overly protective parents. He needlessly sat in the ER for a bee sting. His parents came up to me and asked me and presented me with a bag with a bee in it.

"What Kind of Bee is this?"

Me "Don't Know - A Honey Bee"

Bee Boys Parents - He captured the bee that stung him.

Me - Nice Going Bee Boy.

Bee Boy - Just stared at me.

Me (to parents) make a run for it Bee Boy is fine. Save yourself the money and get out of this place.

Bee Boy Parents - We Just may. (And they did).

Oxegen Lady - she wheeled her self around the ER yelling for Oxegen. She asked me if the bathroom was clear and I told her yes. Apparently 2 wheel chairs do no work in the ER facilities. Oxegen Lady got stuck in the bathroom yell predictiably. "I want my Oxegen".

Throw Up Man- He did just that, almost threw up right on the Bee Boy.

Man with A Hammer in His Head - I have no idea what was with this dude.

Well after 3 hours it was determined that I have a fractured foot.
I now wear a boot, and hobble. For awhile.