Train Freaking Wrecks

Microsoft erases black man from web photo. Clever, lazy trainwreck at Microsoft.
The original photo featured three business people – one white, one black and one Asian – smiling as they attended a meeting. It was published on Microsoft's main US site, to advertise the company's business productivity software.
But in the version doctored to appeal to Polish customers the black man's face was replaced with that of a white man – although the original model's hand remained clearly visible.

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You know you are a train wreck when you miss a day of work and end up in jail. Dont Click Here

A company named Biel the "most dangerous celebrity in cyberspace." One in five Internet searches for terms related to "Jessica Biel" leads to a Web page, photo, video or piece of spam that contains a cyber-security threat, the report said.
Those who follow her are a trainwreck.

George Bush sings REM's Its the end of the World as We Know and I feel Fine. Speaking of TrainWrecks

Lucy Goes Drinking

Update -September 15 2009. So we are all running out the door this morning and apparently Max missed something on the way out. That is shutting the door. That's not going to end well.

Details Shmetails. So the phone rings as I get to work and Lucy is on the loose and of course it is Jenna's first day of teaching.

20 minutes later the phone rings again. Lucy has been found. She is at LaurleWood Brew Pub. Apparently some lady is walking here home

Moon and Sixpence

So a dog walks into a bar and the bar tender says “Why the long tail?”

Yes while I was out riding bikes yesterday Lucy the Beagle apparently decided to take her self out for a walk.
The Vet called (their phone number is on her collar) and says that Lucy has been spotted at the Moon and Something. My wife quickly figures that out, and she has made it to the Bar Down the street. I have no idea how she made it in the front door. The dog that is not my wife. She is not 21.

The leash in my wife’s hand probably clued the patrons as to her mission of the day. Apparently Lucy had stepped out for a beer.

Lesson learned here.

NONE.

Freak Show Countinued

Underwear bandit suspect arrested

SALEM, Ore. - A Marion County man is charged with numerous counts of theft and burglary. He is accused of stealing women’s underwear, and he was caught wearing it.Randall Giesbers of Salem was arrested at his neighbor’s home Monday night wearing nothing but his female neighbor’s panties. The woman’s boyfriend caught him, wrestled him to the ground and held him until police arrived.In Giesber’s garage, Marion County deputies discovered several large garbage bags full of women’s underwear, leading them to believe there are more victims.Deputies say Giesbers has no previous criminal history.

1. I imagine the boyfriend beat the intruder off.. This story says freak show before you even read the first word.

Deputies charged 47-year-old Randall Joseph Giesbers with burglary, theft, criminal trespass and possession of illegal fireworks. (What the fu** was he going to do with fireworks)

“There were some scrapes, bruises, and bumps as he was trying to detain him until we got there,” said Lieutenant Sheila Lorance of the Marion County Sheriff’s Office.
“It’s creepy. It’s just a creepy thing,” added Lorance.

Authorities later located large garbage bags full of women's clothing, underwear, shoes and accessories in the suspect's garage in the same neighborhood.

“I see him all the time, very nice man,” said neighbor Lee Mathieson. (Now you see him in a different light)

You Don't Send Me Flowers AnyMore

My wife recieved some flowers this weekend. It was a beautiful simple batch of flowers. They were so un expected that I literally tripped over them when I walked out on the porch.

Jenna was so happy and she anxiously read the note that came with it. The note said some thing like.

Congratulations on a job well done.

Dad.

Jenna called her Dad that day

And her Dad was somewhat dumbfounded as he did not send her flowers.

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter c would be dropped to be replased either by k or s, and likewise x would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which c would be retained would be the ch formation, which will be dealt with later.

Year 2 might reform w spelling, so that which and one would take the same konsonant, wile

Year 3 might well abolish y replasing it with i and

Year 4 might fiks the g/j anomali wonse and for all.Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez c, y and x -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais ch, sh, and th rispektivli.Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

Timbers vs Vancouver

Final Score Timbers 1- WhiteCaps 0

Very enjoyable night on the pitch. We arrived late to the game after a great after noon of watching Miss Planet Clare and her brother Hugh. We were the last ones in to the parking spot and the Minivan barely fit in. The walk up lines for the game were tremendous.

I love the Canadian National Anthem and of course the girl who sang the American version sang way too slow for the Timbers Army. The night was a bit steamy and the regulars arrived late and were in true form. Even Val and Blondie. We even had newly found Famous writer Sean and his lovely daughter. A perfect night at the Piggy. We brought a great friend to her first game in years and she seemed to enjoy the footy and even the beers.

To be quite honest the Canadian boys carried the first 20 minutes and it felt like the Whitecaps would break through. Number 9 Marlon James was an absolute menace and it seemed Cameron Knowles could not handle him. In the 30th minute Ryan Pore scored on a breakaway which could have been an own goal but he tallied anyway.

Nishimura almost chipped one in the 33rd minutes and Suzuki almost blasted one in in the 39th minute. Nishimura looked great today. Not sure why Scot with one T was not playing.

Cronin played fantastic all night long. The White Caps never really threatened except a few balls that went high or wide. In the 79th minute he scrambles and stopped the best shot of the night by the Whitecaps.

As always we loved the game and of course the result.

Here's the rest of the schedule

8/8CHARLESTON 7 p.m.
8/12@ Montreal 4:45 p.m.
8/15@ Rochester4:30 p.m.
8/22MIAMI 7:15 p.m.
8/28@ Charleston (FSC)
5 p.m. 9/3ROCHESTER
7 p.m.9/7@ Austin
4 p.m. 9/11 AUSTIN7 p.m.
9/13 CLEVELAND5 p.m.
9/17CLEVELAND7:15

Charleston is going to be interesting as are the Rhinos and Montreal on the road. After that we have a pretty cake schedule. I'll let the soccer stuff to the soccer people. I love the game but love the sights and smells of the game.

Max and Sean's daughter having a ball doing magic trips, Timbers Army songs and even our own songs. The smells of the BBQ and the stink bombs and the clouds hanging over the cascades as we looked to the scoreboard that read. TIMBERS 1- Vancouver 0.

We have a guess the attendance contest every night and my original guess was 10780 which I adjusted upward later. 10783 loud and crazy tonight. Even the west end was up and in their face. And of course the post game where we acknowledge the lads and they do the same thing to us. PGE park is a fun place to be on game night.

A Quick Glance back to 1984 Numbers

HARPER:S INDEX (This was taken from 1984) Observations
Percentage of American teachers who say that if they could start over, they would not teach : 24

Percentage who said this in 1965 : 7. 1 (Something tells me this number has changed recently in the other direction)
Percentage increase, from the mid-1970s to today, in the number of resumes received each year by the CIA: 100 (This was during Reagan - Bet you it is on the down slope)
Number of states in which some part of the B-1 bomber is manufactured : 44 (Enough said)
Estimated percentage of all U. S. defense contracts that are awarded through fully competitive bidding : 5 (Haliburton et all bet you that has not changed)
Estimated number of defense-industry jobs that would be lost in the event of a nuclear freeze : 250,000 (Yeah defense industry jobs never leave)
Percentage of Americans who, in 1981, thought their chances of surviving a nuclear war were
Percentage of Soviet children who believe nuclear war can be prevented : 92 (They may have been right)
Percentage of American children who believe this: 65 (They may have been wrong)
Rank, among children's most common fears, of being home alone : 1 (well worth exploring)
Of getting up in front of their class: 2
Percentage of all playground injuries that occur on the monkey Bars: 55 (They have virtually dissapeared)
Number of bird species that have been sighted in Central Park since its opening in 1858 : 259
Bald eagle population of the continental United States in 1979 : 9,815
In 1982 : 13,825 (In the early 1980s, the estimated total population was 100,000 birds, with 110,000–115,000 by 1992;[2] the U.S. state with the largest resident population is Alaska, with about 40,000–50,000 birds, with the next highest population being the Canadian province of British Columbia with 20,000–30,000 birds in 1992.[2])
Percentage of all life forms known to have ever existed that still exist today: 10
Number of robots FAO Schwarz expects to sell this Christmas season: 10,000 Not a real big seller any more
Average amount stolen by pickpockets, per incident: $218
Byshoplifters : $72
Total number of recordings of "White Christmas" that have been sold : 150,431,669 (I tunes has helped a re emergence)
Chance of a white Christmas in New York: 23% Now 10 percent
In Minneapolis: 73% (Probably less)
Percentage of Americans who often feel they did something exactly right : 55 (I understand with the divirce rates what they are, This number is wrong)
Who often sing, hum, or whistle : 48
Percentage of Americans who believe their presence at a sports event influences its outcome 25
Percentage of libel cases in which juries rule against media defendants : 80
Percentage of those verdicts that are reversed on appeal : 60
Percentage of college men who say they might commit rape if there were no chance of being caught: 35
Number of American men who have surgery each year solely to improve their personal appearance: 500,000 (Gee whiz I wonder WTF happened to this number)
Average year-end bonus in 1983 for corporate chief executive officers: $98,424
Combined net worth of the 400 richest Americans: $125,000,000,000
Combined value of all the currency and coin in circulation in the U.S. : $175,000,000,000
Amount spent by the U.S. government on advertising in 1983 : $228,857,200
Amount spent by Coca-Cola: $282,150,000
Percentage of U. S. car owners who keep maps in their glove compartments : 50 (We now have Navigation)
Sunglasses : 23
Gloves: 0

Random Stupid Surveys

A new study shows it costs about $221,000 ($292,000 when adjusted for inflation) to raise a child. Does cost impact your decisions, when it comes to growing your family?

Well listening to the Song "I Wish I had a Million Dollars" made me think I'll take 4. I just saws this note here.

ST. LOUIS -It's no secret that raising children can be expensive, but how about nearly a quarter of a million dollars expensive?
A government report released Tuesday says a middle-income family with a child born last year will spend about $221,000 raising that child through age 17.
The report by the USDA's Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion identified housing as the largest single expense, followed by food and child care/education costs. The $221,000 in expenses rises to about $292,000 when adjusted for inflation.
USDA economist Mark Lino, who co-authored the report with Andrea Carlson, often hears people say children cost a lot when the annual findings are issued.
"I tell them children also have many benefits, so you have to keep that in mind," he said.
Families with more income spend more money on child-related costs, the report said. A two-parent family that earns less than $57,000 annually will spend about $160,000 on a child from birth through high school. Those with an income between $57,000 and $99,000 spend about $221,000 and those with higher incomes are expected to spend roughly $367,000 through age 17.

Well I find these numbers way low.

Lets see Here are some neccessities for kids.

1. 
   
   Soccer/VollyBall Camp


2. 
   
   Summer Camps


3. 
   
   I Pods and I Tunes


4. 
   
   Health F***ing Care. (That's a Pandoras Can of Worms)


5. 
   
   Food


6. 
   
   Supplies/Bus Passes/Pepperidge Farm Fishies


7. 
   
   Shampoo. (Estimated 500.00 per year over 20 years,,it adds up)


8. 
   
   Skateboards and Bikes


9. 
   
   Fines for stuff they break.


10. 
    
    And a giant accrual for all the change that dissapears fron Various change drawers.

And the crazy assumption this survery makes. Til they reach the age of 17. Lets face it that are not signing with a major league team at that age.

They are.

1. 
   
   Going to College


2. 
   
   Driving a Car.


3. 
   
   Eating alot more.
   

I guess I forgot about that yearly Tax deduction. And lets face it when kids are young they actually make you money because you can not go to a movie or hiking the Alps.

Still I think the figure stated above was for raising a dog.

SomeTimes Its Best To Not Plan AnyThing

The best laid plans simply some times go un laid.

We had nothing planned for yesterday but sometimes that works out perfectly. We decided to head to Forest Park and go for a hike. A hike right now is a luxury item and I was a bit tepid with my expectations as I am just coming off a busted ankle.

My wife and I pulled into Germantown road and the day was hot and dusty but Forest Park can be pretty forgiving with a constant canopy of Northwest Shade. In the first few steps I had a sharp pain in my ankle but I soon became adept at walking. We enjoyed looking at the trees and the patterns of the moss on the trees. After about a mile my foot started feeling pretty decent. We even progressed to a point where I actually ran the last mile; it was probably a 10 minute mile and my wife finished in front of me, but it may have been one of my favourites miles I had ever run. Its nice to get my feet in motion once again.

We then just headed up to the Skyline Tavern. I had never been there during the day and I was quite surprised. my wife and I shared a picture of beer and played a little horse shoes. The bar tender was nice enough to give me a large bag of ice to ice the foot. There is something to be said for a post run glow sharing a beer with your wife. A simple day, but wonderfully simple in a complicated world.

While sitting in the bar we got a frantic text from two friends that they were in need of some company to have a beer or two. We headed to the County Cork with a stolen hour to kill. I had not been to the Cork in awhile. It was great to see some old friends and have a Ploughman's platter. Another simple hour in a complicated world.

And you can not beat beats. The Ploughman's Platter has beets in some kind of beety, funky sauce and they are unbelievable. With a little salt. Another indescribable simple pleasure.

This post is basically about doing nothing quite out of the Ordinary. Its about sitting back and watching the world go by with somebody whom is special in your life.