Saturday, April 25, 2009

IIWII- Down the Aisle

Wow I proposed at a soccer game more than a year ago, which was one of the my greater days in life. All I wanted to do at that time is to be married to the girl I love. I forgot somewhere in that proposal was the promise that yes we would have a wedding. Its not a one day event rather a year long metaphor reminiscent of the build up to the Super Bowl. It Is What It Is. In the acronym filled corporate world we of course use acronyms and hence forth It Is What It Is will be referred to IIWII.

TO BE continued as I find free time.

I look forward to finding it.

Well it is 24 hours later and Jen got a ton of stuff done. She talked to the caterers and then to some others involved about the head count for the wedding. Of course that was ten minutes before I told her that there would be another other two year old at the wedding. Apparently I am clueless in this entire wedding process as to what is a Major issue and what is a Minor issue.

  • whacks oneself on the head.
  • writes not that i wont be able to read later.
  • attacks next little fire.
Another Action Item- Find out when my Dad's flight arrives (I check off the task probably before I should have)

Dad - "All I know is that I am on flight 0610 on United."
I quickly look it up online and tell him 5:45.
Dad -"You have to add or subtract 3 hours to that"
Me - No that's time zone specific.

That's all my brain could handle, but soon Jen suggests we move the time of the family get together dinner. It amazes me when somebody has a complete project type of mind. Which I do not. I consider myself lucky to be walking down the aisle with somebody like that. Its pretty amazing. But what lingers in my wedding planning future. I am not in the mood to make a project plan.

To the best of my recollection we did not move the time of the family get together dinner. Thats a story for another day where I will not have time to write. But I can see it now, dinner at the Corbett Fish House (a place I truly adore), where I predict with tongue in cheek that these things will happen.

  • Max devours 4 Oyster Shooters
  • Riley invites Joel Prizbella as her date.
  • Marina tells everybody about her deep absolute hatred of scallops

Back to the present for a moment. One thing we completely forgot about was that we had to get a marriage license. That is going to happen tomorrow and I am told I don't have to study for this. Much to the chagrin of my fellow co-workers I have not been able to put in sixty hour weeks, but I somehow had to draft a memo stating that I had to leave work early to get a marriage license.

In retrospect I was nervous about being late. Government agencies are a weird place to be in. Despite not being able to take a credit card or a check, YES CASH ONLY, they were all really nice and knew what thet were doing. Neither Jenna or I bothered to even write down the address on the Multnomah County Marriage License Place and both arrived at random places and times. At least the Multnomah County Marriage License Place staff knew what they are doing.

The other day I was sitting at my desk with these numbers on my scratch pad.

9636, 9701, 9715 9638

9536, 9636, 9717, 9228

One was a list of of the numbered pre wedding photos I had chosen for the sign in book. The other list were project id numbers for a report I was semi-mindlessly preparing. I just hope I didn't send Jen project ids. That may not end well. I am fairly confident I did not. And the last thing we need to working on at work is my wedding plans. I am capable of fumbling these by myself.

Then there is the subject of Haikus -Weasked people to submit Haikus along with thier invites.

Here are some examples

Elements of a good marriage....communication, humore, adventure, support, hugs, and lots lovin'?

Love and devotion, laughter, honesty, respect, Enduring Marriage

You only live once. Life is short. Have fun, fun, fun!

Open ears and heart yields forgiving nature. Contentment results.

Lifetime of smiles. sparkle in each other's eyes. Always, everywhere.

There are times when silence has the loudest voice.

To make great marriage use ears more often than mouth. Dogs have this down pat.

Two dry martinis mixed by him and shared with you. Relax at day's end.

Happiness is my wife walking away from me in her leather chaps. (Thanks Greg and Kris!!!)

The question of the day is whether they should be read just like this or whether the wedding team had editorial input. I say noy, but tahts a story for another day.

Friday, April 24, 2009

The Trail Blazers Enigma

This team always surprises me and I root for them more than any team I have ever rooted for. But Houston and McKenzie River we have a problem. It works like this.
  • We are getting married next week.
  • Weddings are expensive.
  • We have tickets to all the games.
  • The tickets are expensive.
  • The second round of the playoffs will mostly be during wedding week where we will be away in McKenzie River and the Beach.
  • It would be easier on our hectic lives if we did have to deal with the second round of the playoffs.
  • Like Pavlov's Dog the trumpet calls.
  • We want the Blazers to win it anyway.
  • With all our hearts.
  • We will deal with it then.
And then there is this series. One of the fruits of being a season ticket holder is you get to go to the game. That is if your schedule can afford it. I took an assignment to teach at night this month. I love teaching. It pays the bills. Well it actually only pays for Blazers tickets. Its known in some circles as disposable income.


  • Our beloved Blazers seem to be playing on nights I teach.
  • And I teach I must.
  • Game 2 I left the class out early so that they would not get stuck in post game traffic.
  • Meaning I could watch the rest of the game on television.
We play again next Tuesday the night I once again have class.

I need to hatch a plan.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I love You Now Have a Sex Change

Actress Lindsay Lohan and DJ Samantha Ronson flaunted their relationship from New York to Dubai. Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl" topped the charts. "The L Word," "Work Out," and "Top Chef" are featuring gay women on TV, and there's even talk of a lesbian reality show in the works.
Certainly nothing is new about women having sex with women, but we've arrived at a moment in the popular culture when it all suddenly seems almost fashionable -- or at least, acceptable.

Well in my opinion this makes a ton of cents.

  • No problems with the toilet seat thing

  • Things don't come in jars that need opening any more.
  • Drills, Circular Saws and Dry Wall now are made for both sexes.
  • Its all about communication, why learn a second language.
  • No wet spot arguments. (Do people really argue about that?)
  • If I were a woman, and I am not I would date a woman because they smell better and taste bettter.
  • And Its Portland, Oregom where 11 out of 10 woman are dating woman.

Friday, April 17, 2009

April 17th

April 17th

A soccer game of sorts
where I got down on my
knees and asked the
girl I love to marry me.

One year ago today
and 20 days from now
we walk down the
aisle eternally.

And I thank you for
falling into my life like
glitter out of the
sparkle jet stream.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

My New Friend the Blind Guy

Last Week

  • I teach class at a local college.
  • My style can be a bit random.
  • I teach with the door open.
  • I noticed an obviously blind guy walking down the hall.
  • Yelling where is the recycling bin?
  • Somebody pointed him to the trash can.
  • I walked out of my class and pointed him to the recycle bin.
  • He thanked Me.
  • I walked back into my room and continued teaching.
This Week
  • I walked into my school building and my new friend was looking for the elevator.
  • I showed him where it was.
  • He said Thank You.
  • I went to my class and started teaching.
  • I gave the students a lab and walked out in the hall and noticed my friend on a chair.
  • I asked him what class he was taking.
  • He answered "A Plus" a programming class.
  • I told him I teach another programming class.
  • I invited him to sit in the class some day.
  • He said Thank You.
  • and smiled.
  • He asked me what kind of car did I drive because he could not hear it earlier in the parking lot.
  • In my mind I tried to remember was he death or was he blind. (Its been a long day).
  • I said a Prius then remembered they are very quiet cars.
  • He said cool How long have you had it.
  • I said its a year old. I l love the car.
  • His Answer was "Can I drive it?"
  • I went back to blindly teaching.