Thursday, December 31, 2009

Greatest love story Never told

By me

Two years ago to the day, I got home from work at around 8:30 having just finished year end close. I honestly had no plans and I do not actually remember making any plans for the evening but the details are kind of sketchy.

The expanding past- As things get further and further
into the past they expand at an exponential
pace sometimes obscuring the truth.

Well Jen (this story ends well) had gone to the midnight run and pounded a few beers with her at the time best friend (i will call her Teresa). She may have called me to tell me she was coming over or maybe she didn't but I remember sitting on the sofa drinking a beer (it may have been a bad beer) and I get a call from Miss Jen that she was headed over to my house.

I forgot -What I neglected to remember is that this was not
entirely out of the blue as she had been
to the house a few weeks earlier as she made/bought
me dinner from Ernesto's after an ill fated 31 mile
run across wild trail.

Well a girl I was really hot for was coming over to the house in 45 minutes and I contemplated cleaning the entire house, or lighting candles or having another beer. I did one of these and long behold Jen shows up post run, post beer with the movie (I may screw this up) "Sleepless in Seattle. It was some Meg Ryan movie, and I know it wasn't you got mail.

You got female. It was somewhere around 1:30 in the morning
we sat down on the couch in my newly cleaned
house and watched that movie. I remember nothing about
the movie, but we smooched and kissed and
all that kind of stuff.

We got very little sleep that night.
The next day i was in a daze and
actually wrecked a baby stroller.

(This part of the tale is absolutely true).

We ended up dating, and getting married so today is not actually our anniversary. Its actually (TFDWST). I'll leave it at that. I love you my dear. Happy anniversary of sorts.

Monday, December 28, 2009

ode. for xmas tree

tree was bought
from a little vintage
shop up the road that
we carried by hand and paid
in cash and it lived and sparkled
with us for three weeks like part of
the family just shiny brilliantly, just like
any other blessed family member would for
only on this day
2009 Happy

Friday, December 18, 2009

Christmas Traditions

Start a Christmas tradition by adopting this elf from Santa's workshop who checks on your child's behavior and reports back to Santa every night, finding a new hiding place in the house every morning on his return. Fun for the whole family

But our family had traditions that where off the shelf.

1. Oh By Gosh By Golly

Like this crazy ass song. We all know it as Oh By Gosh By Golly. My uncle played it over and over again on his school record player. Washed down with a few high balls.

2.The Electric Knife

Then there is the time honoured tradition of the sporting event on the television. Grandmother Schofer always started the electric knife with a minute left in the game. So we never knew who won. I always love after dinner when some lady in a large fir coat from the neighborhood stopped by. They were such colorful characters.

3. The off the wall Gift.
MomMom was a classic for giving the unexpected. One year we got a big pot with an American flag, another year we all got a safe. I still have that safe. It keeps things safe. Same with the big pot and the flag. Not sure what that does.

4. Copes Corn
For generations, John Cope's Food Products has been producing dried sweet corn from varieties that are grown in the heart of the Pennsylvania Dutch Country. These naturally sweeter varieties are harvested in the early stages of maturity, processed, then air dried to remove the moisture, preserve the nutrients, and impart the golden color and toasted sweet corn flavor. I still have not figured this one out.
5. Crab, Shrimp and French fries -Not sure when this tradition started. Circa 1989 . But this one I love, Seafood for the holidays. Reminds me we have to order our crab today.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Unfateful Faith

Faith is an absolute weird thing, and I must stand back and reflect when people have this much faith in anything. I do not even have faith that our brand new washing machine will get the wash clean.

Bartow, Florida (CNN) -- After more than three decades in prison, a Florida man was set free Thursday after a DNA test showed he did not kidnap and rape a 9-year-old boy in 1974.
"I'm not angry," James Bain, 54, told reporters after a brief hearing in Bartow, Florida.
Bain was 19 when he was convicted on charges of kidnapping, burglary and strong-arm rape. He received a life sentence. He's going home for the first time in 35 years.
"I got God in my head," said Bain, surrounded by supporters and wearing a T-shirt with "Not Guilty" across the front. "I knew one day he will reveal me."

Then the families of these climbing victims know their loved ones are in heaven. I can not even imagine what heaven looks like, but something tells me it is not full of white clouds and angels. And the faith they had on the weather and their fitness. That's faith of a different kind. Based on a little experience.

GOVERNMENT CAMP, Ore. -- The family members of the two climbers still mis
sing on Mt. Hood said they've come to terms with the reality that they won't see their loved ones alive again and they're at peace, knowing Katie Nolan and Anthony Vietti are in heaven now.

These stories compelling and disturbing as they are show people at peace based on something completely unknown to me but known to others. I tip my hat to them.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


Just for the hell of it I am saving this as a place holder as I happen to like it.

Why would anybody cheat on their good looking wife with a horse.

It looks like we out sourced being stupid to Japan

My mother in law threatened to throw brussel sprouts at my wife.

My sister in law loudly proclaimed "I did not know you had a gay brother" to my step dad, who prefers to keep it low key.

My wife had a zit on her face and my grandmother asker her if It is that time of month.

Back to my mother in law she thinks she is in Denver. She is not.

Back to my mother in law she called her son a shit.

Back to me, I can not fing my cell phone, my car keys and theintake valve to our fuel tank.

The Suburbs Suck

Beaverton Stole Jesus Christ

BEAVERTON, Ore. -- Christmas hasn't arrived for the Eichnebergers until the family Nativity has gone up out front of their Beaverton home. Bonnie Eichenberger says it gives her "a warm feeling inside."
"The neighbors love it, too, and it just reminds us of what Christmas is all about," she added.
A Nativity scene depicts the biblical story of Jesus Christ's birth to the Virgin Mary, in a Bethlehem manger, along with witnesses to the miracle.
On Tuesday, someone stole Jesus.
Eichenberger said she was shocked to find her manger empty - and called to report someone had stolen Jesus Christ.
"I asked the police officer if he could put out an A-P-B for baby Jesus," chuckled Eichenberger, referring to a crisis-emergency response from police. “I knew it would be hard to find him but it just really upset me that somebody would do that."
Why would someone steal baby Jesus, Bonnie asked her husband Wednesday.
But thieves were not done. The Eichenbergers awoke Thursday to find their Nativity further desecrated.
"I went outside, and Joseph and Mary were gone, too!" Bonnie said.
A-P-B for baby Jesus (Anywhere Probably Beaverton)
Wash. student gets tongue stuck to flagpole
VANCOUVER, Wash. – It sounded like something out of the popular holiday movie, “A Christmas Story” but it was actually a real-life drama for a Vancouver boy whose tongue got stuck to a flagpole in below-freezing temperatures outside his school Wednesday morning
What the FU**.
West Linn librarian in trouble for using profanity in class
Some parents of West Linn middle school students are angry that their children were exposed to vulgar language by their teacher. They hoped to share their frustrations with the school board Monday night.
The parents complained that they were never asked or even told that their children’s librarian was going to write and use profanity as part of a lesson on controversial books.
However, when they heard what happened afterwards, from their 8th grade children, the parents said they were furious and in disbelief. They said the teacher exposed their kids to more than a dozen curse words.
“There was the “F-word” and another foul word written on the board. The teacher yelled them at the kids and then asked the kids to yell them back at him," said parent Elizabeth Thiede. She also explained that her child was upset by the display that was apparently carried out as part of a language arts unit at Athey Creek Middle School.
F**king Idiots
Teenage hunter shot by uncle
Victim wore camo, not orange, say authorities
By John Erickson
Monday, December 7, 2009
In what Yamhill County authorities are calling a tragic accident, a 15 year old hunter has been shot and killed by his uncle--who thought he was taking aim at an elk.
Matthew Gretzon of Salem was hunting with his father, his uncle Troy Gretzon of Grand Ronde, and Troy's 11-year old daughter Sunday morning when the uncle fired his rifle into heavy brush where an elk had been seen earlier, said Yamhill County Sheriff's Captain Ken Summers.