Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Purging at 50

10:00 and All is well

  • Oh sheiss, no food for today. Drink only clear liquids and mix this crap together. One bottle of some crap mixed with Gatorade.
  • 40 minutes until I have to take the pills and evacuate the system. A friend said I should prepare for flu like symptoms. I already have that anticipating tomorrows jocularity.
  • At least I have the new REM CD to listen to. What associative memories I will have of that.
  • Of course I am hungry as hell.

  • Take the four pills every 15 minutes .
  • I actually followed the directions and these pills make me feel like crap.
  • Riley Is eating food which is driving me crazy. I showed her and took a bath. (She currently can't take baths)
  • All concentration now is gone.
  • Okay the directions say to drink 8 ounce of this stuff every 15 minutes. The Gatorade -shatever (new word)mixtures tastes like day old oral sex.
  • The directions said that i would get chills. Check
  • I didn't realize I would have to go to the bathroom exactly 15 seconds after drinking that regurgitated cum. But I did and it was not a placebo bathroom break.
  • Shit , 30 minutes are up and I have to drink that stuff again.
  • All hands on board.
  • Taking a bath is not a wise decision. The bunny hop from tub to toilet is amusing.
  • The colon is 4 feet long so they tell me.
  • Who aspires to be a colonologist - my doctor evidently.
Directions from the Portland Clinic

Foods that are acceptable. Jello, pop sickles soda apple juice etc.
Foods that are not acceptable. milk, creams, dairy, soy nut dairy replacements, orange juice, foods with red or purple colour. I do not see Vegetarian Reuben from the Goose Hollow on the list. I am assuming I can have one.

I did not realize I had to drink a second batch of that crap at 700. The second batch was horrible as it was more concentrated and more crappy. I use that word here plenty.

I was afraid to go to bed because I was always going to the bathroom. I was getting more familiar as to how my colon worked. I also became a little more familiar with how woman feel monthly.

Colon OZ Comy day

My wife couldn't sleep either as I was up all night, but we arrived at 715 on the dot. Strip down naked into hospital garb, and on to a gurney. It was so surreal and calm. I listened to a lady being interviewed next to me. It was so predictable in my world.

Nurse - Are you wearing any hearing Aides
Patient -What
Nurse - Are you wearing any hearing Aides

Patient -Louder -What
Me (over the curtains) -Assume she isn't.

The procedure is such a non event. I was done and out out of there by 930. It went faster than advertised.

But it is peace of mind. The day off was nice. They warned me that people lose their short term memory after said procedure. I was hoping I would find mine.

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