Monday, November 30, 2009

Tales From Advantage Island




I may not get all of the facts straight here as in times of crisis things are interpreted in different ways to different people and things are heard how you want to hear them.

Case in point (Snippets from a Conversation in the Emergency Room)

My Lovely Wife (talking to her semi lucid loopy Mother) -Mom you might go home someday in the near future.
Her Wise Ass Brother James - Mom do you understand what we are talking about here.
My Lovely Wife - Mom some things are going to have to change when you get home.
Marilyn (GG) - breathe gasp breathe gasp silence deep breath I know
My Wife like drinking and smoking
Maralyn (GG) - breathe gasp breathe gasp silence deep breath I know
My wife How does that make you feel?
Maralyn (GG) - PWERHORIFUL (It was unclear the answer)

James heard -Powerful
Jenna heard -Strong
Mark heard -Horrible.


To make a long story short my mother in law has been on her death bed for somewhere between the last 9 nine days or the last 3 and a half years how ever you want to define it.

Well to be more specific the last seven days have been without a moment of levity since she decided to call the paramedics and have an ambulance take her to the hospital. One would think three weeks of not holding anything down would be a hint, but who are we to judge until we have walked a mile in their colon.

I have not seen her for various reasons that are beyond the scope of this introspection. I am not going into the details of the 20 minutes before going into the hospital as they were very funny for our own reasons that are between myself my wife and her brother. We were tired and we were giddy.

So we get into the hospital and James and Jen ask me to wait in the waiting room just to get me clearance to the emergency room. (They warned me that their mother was not in a pretty state (IE New Hampshire)). I sat in the waiting room and read Yoga magazine. As I was viewing a photo of a delicate woman with a yoga mat in a hut in Liberia, James came out with a deer in the head lights look on his face. He looked at me with a WTF look and said his Mom looks better than she has looked in days.

I walked into the room and GG did in fact look much better than I expected and to top things off she was talking. Jenna asked where she was and who was in the room with her.

She said Mark and James and Jenna and curiously Phil. (None of us were able to actually see this Phil person, but we are fairly certain James later ran into him at Starbucks) Jenna asked her where she was right now.

She said she was on an island in Ireland called Advantage Island. Wondering how her mom would interpret the many tubes, machines, nurses that surrounded her, she asked - then who is Justin and why is he here with us? (Justin was the ICU nurse) Her mom replied - he is my therapist. Jenna asked her, "so you travel with your therapist?" Yes.
Jenna's mom despises therapists. We all looked at each other with a collective WTF.

She then said that she wanted a drink.
Jen asked her to repeat that.
She then said that she wanted to drink.

I interpreted that she wanted some wine and La Familla Bruner thought she wanted some water in her dry mouth. Happilly La Familla Bruner were used to this ritual.

Later that night James asked the Nurse on duty to confirm that she did not know where she was.

Nurse -Marilyn we have gone over this before, What has happened to you.
Marilyn (GG) -I had my tummy worked on.
Nurse -What hospital are you in.
Marilyn (GG) - St. Vincent
Nurse - Where is St Vincents
Marilyn (GG) - Beaverton

Apparently she was pulling our legs.
Or you have to know what questions to ask.
James as were walking out. (somewhat to himself) -Hell of a time to spin a tale.